The Atmana purple-fur girl emitted a deep roar, one entirely devoid of femininity. Tuya reached for her spear, freeing it from the dead purple-fur's mouth with a deft twist and tug, then stepped into empagong form. Not unlike Thornfriend, she needed to protect Wolf more than she needed to fight this woman.

She needed to make Wolf's pain smaller.

Come near me and I will destroy you, she projected, forcing the thought at the changer with images of what she had already done to the real purple-furs. Go and we will not chase you.

Batu crashed through the brush, fluttering his wings beside her, vicious squawks bursting from his golden beak. He craved a chase, but was aware he wouldn't catch nimble quarry in this weird forest.

Unlike the other purple-furs, the Atmana heeded the warning. The lion turned tail, then leapt through the little gaps in the trees. Tuya scanned out with her mind sense, scouring the area for signs of higher sentience. This lesson needed learning and she was ashamed to let this happen. Once again, another was hurt in her place. She failed. Tuya couldn't count on her passive perception in the Great Atmana Forest, at least not until she knew what to look for in a land where the feelings and thoughts of millions were constantly on the edge of her awareness.

Crumpled on the ground, yelping like a wolf in man-flesh, Wolf gripped the arrow in the side of his hip, then pulled it out. His howls were like hammers to Tuya's heart. Such pain. Pain she should've prevented. Pain intended for her.

Removed from his body, the arrow looked like a thin spear, with a tip that had been sharpened to a serrated point. Tuya had seen animals and tamers bleed from the spear and still wasn't prepared for this amount of red. He would die soon. His consciousness was already fainter.

Tuya was a stranger to these lands but no stranger to being the one who tended hurts. She ignored Batu's frustration that he couldn't eat the Atmana wood-thrower and sought out that which helped. Leaves, moss, vines, those were first, whether or not they had special uses. She gathered big leaves that looked clean, taking them from branches rather than the ground. Rapidly, she communed with them using her wilding sense, ensuring they didn't have the purpose of making others sick to serve their tree. One of them, the leaves from the yellow tree with Thornfriend and crushed purple-fur, had a special strength in absorption. The leaves stored water throughout the seasons so that they might leak out on the saplings long after rain ended.

She took several of the driest leaves, shaded a beautiful blue like the eyes of one she hoped wouldn't see her anytime soon, then knelt by Wolf's side. The blood was pooling beneath him fast, the whimpers weaker than they'd been, his pretty stone-like eyes seeking her out through the tears.

I am here, Tuya projected, saying the words in Leverian too.

She pressed the leaves to the wound, then pushed down hard. Wolf yelped, his body going rigid as he fought the reflex to thrash. It wasn't only little girls surviving endless hatred or men forced to be in constant competition that grew tough. But rarely had she met one who so bravely ran toward pain for another. Of those who had—Zaya, Sarnai, and Yaha—were three of her favorite people.

I know this hurts, brave Wolf, but it will make your pain smaller, Tuya projected, keeping the blood from leaving him with strong hands.

Joy flared from Wolf's mind, powerfully at odds with his waning life and pain. He nodded, wincing through teary eyes as he let out a few sharp whines. Despite his wildness, he remained still, his eyes never leaving her face. Through the pain, she sensed love blooming in Wolf's heart, opening up like a flower touched by a wilder. She wanted to push it away, to deny it like it were a pretty poison that would slowly kill her.

Be yourself, Batu thought to her, pausing his eviscerating of one of the purple furs, blood dripping from his golden beak. Be free.

Tuya shut her eyes, unable to not see Darrakh dying, or the eventual moment when Wolf would speak with Gurg's voice. She couldn't care about this Atmana boy but neither could she stop caring. But the mind cannot force the soul to stop loving. No matter how much she wanted to grow a layer of thorns, she was who she was underneath them all.

His pain didn't grow smaller as she staunched the bleeding. Tuya's hands, always full of Celegana's essence, gave him strength. She forced herself through calm breathing as Zaya taught her so many seasons ago. You will be safe, brave Wolf.

Wolf huffed, his tension fading, his mind giving off more love and a wonder so powerful that it overshadowed the pain.

For now, she thought to herself, knowing the blue-eyed beast atop Celegana's Spire would come for everyone eventually.

This is you, Batu thought, his peaceful joy contagious. I can feel it, sister. This is the most you have been you since we lost your mother. She who makes pain smaller. She who gives herself to others.

I don't know how much I have to give. And there is too much pain.

All the better reason to find those who love you for who you are and will make your pain smaller. Like your sister Sarnai, your daughter Masarga, your brother Batu. This sometimes two-leg and other times four-leg may be brother to you. If not more.

She opened her eyes to a toothy, wolfen smile. Wolf ruffed, the little noise cute and at odds with his handsome face.

That smile spread to Tuya, letting her, for a moment, be herself. Just a moment of freedom before she forced the thorns back in place. I need to find moss and vines and see if there are any plants that will stop your blood from getting sick. I need you to hold these leaves in place to keep your blood in.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

Wolf ruffed again, nodding, his eyes on hers. He moved his hand over the wound, placing it atop hers with a softness reminiscent of long nights in the upper layer of the dark space, of cuddling together and sharing dreams of places like this one. He emitted a fondness so clear that it shone like the lightmaker on a clear day. Even unlinked, she could feel his yearning to stare into her eyes for eternity, for his desire to know who she was.

Tuya denied her feelings. She denied that she craved to feel loved again. She pulled her hand away, then helped him press it hard enough, communing telepathically until she was satisfied he wouldn't let the wound gush again while she was searching.

You keep denying your truth, Batu said, tearing through purple-fur entrails with such fervor that she had to look away.

You keep being a thorn in my side, bird. Eat my food and let this be.

Then your pain will stay large. And you will carry all the lands on your back as the evil two-leg chases us.

That is why I cannot let myself be distracted by what I want!

Quite a lapse. This isn't you.

Tuya thought of a girl who refused to move, to eat, to drink, who didn't let herself go near others because she would get them hurt. This is me, bird.

Only when you wither, two-leg. Do you really want to be that little girl again?

Tuya groaned, shoving him to the edge of her consciousness. He didn't understand. It wasn't like she didn't want to love others or be loved again. It just hurt too much adding holes to your heart when they left you. And no matter how much her silver eyes could see hope, she knew too that hope was not a thing that often came true in her life. He didn't understand.

But I do. I killed my family with my own talons. I was used to hunt two-legs that looked like the sun and rode big furry four-legs. Do I sit on the ground waiting to become food? The only reason I didn't was because of you. If you let this evil man atop the big stones keep you from being you, you've let him win.

Divinedamned bird! You're more stubborn than Yaha!

She forced herself to break her thoughts away from him, tuning her mind to hear the songs of the wild. Moss and vines were easy to find with her eyes but those were needed last. Tuya walked the forest floor, reaching her mind out to each plant, hoping to find something like the stem of numbroot that would keep blood from going bad. She kept her spear out, rather than through the vine loop, her mind not staying with the plants long before pulsing out for possible Atmana lurking in the forest.

Tuya learned the uses of many plants and their parts, lending some of them strength or light as she wound through the trees. One mushroom would make eaters have funny dreams and see colors that weren't there, making the eaters vulnerable to bigger threats that wouldn't consume funky little mushrooms. The pink flower buds of one shrub would divert blood flow, leading to things Tuya didn't want to think about but Batu found amusement in. The nectar of one flower would make its eaters hyperaware, more likely to survive and travel, and in turn able to spread the flower wider. The blessings of Celegana were many and Tuya could spend a lifetime studying them and helping them grow.

Alas, she didn't have a lifetime. Wolf may have stopped bleeding, but that arrow could still kill him more slowly. She knew one thing that would work here, knew the sense that it gave off. Rather than going one by one through the forest, scanning and communing with thousands of plants, she sought one of her oldest friends.

Numbroot, are you here? She pushed her consciousness into the forest, seeking her friend with leaves that liked a little light and stopped blood flow, the sturdy stem with the ointment that could cleanse dirty blood, and the root that offered peace and oblivion.

Several wispy lines of mist that would be invisible to anyone but those with silver eyes appeared, numbroot consciousnesses stretching toward Tuya's mind. She followed the thickest one to a nearby stream where within a stump grew several strong numbroot.

My friends, she thought, nearly crying as she felt memories of the dark place and this most precious of allies who'd helped her and the other wilders countless times through the seasons of wither and growth.

She touched them all. They were pleased with the warmth and the wet, even the leaves were happy with the amount of light they got in this hollowed-out stump near a stream. This was a good place for them. Tuya wouldn't take them all. Instead, she would give.

Tuya infused each numbroot with Celegana's strength, watching them grow as Thornfriend had. She blessed the place they grew too, purifying and enchanting the soil so their future generations would be paragons of this most blessed plant. Of course, she took one, promising to use it to make pain smaller, as was the purpose of numbroot.

Gathering moss and vines, Tuya returned to Wolf's side. His tail emerged from his backside, wagging, as he ruffed at her. "I've got everything we need," she said, transmitting the thought with her voice.

Again, his smile spread to her. The little ruffs, the wagging tail, those pretty eyes, his handsome face, the compassion he felt when she was sad, the way he jumped in front of an arrow for her, it was hard not to feel that which grew within her. The seed was in the ground, taking root, and she knew that without Batu's stubborn bird thoughts reminding her. She knew love, feeling it flowing off Wolf and through herself.

But this time, this once, she wouldn't help a thing grow, even if she couldn't stop it from taking root. She couldn't choose her feelings, only that which she did with them.

She applied the fluid from the numbroot stem to the wound, gently spreading it. "This will keep your blood good, so you grow strong instead of wither."

Ruffs. Tail wagging. Those eyes. That smile. He was a very beautiful thing.

Tuya dreamt of a little wilder that could turn into a wolf, that never had to worry about tamer hatred or not being loved. Batu's righteousness, his amusement, his I-knew-it and I-told-you-so reminded her to stop. She couldn't control where thoughts came from, only guide them where they needed to go once they arrived. This one had to go far, far away, to a place where this beautiful dream could never be permitted a chance at life.

The brave wolf boy didn't help. He locked his small fingers together touching them to his heart, then holding them toward her. He ruffed, this time his voice rising toward the end. A question? A proposal? It didn't matter.

Tuya pretended she didn't see this thing, didn't hear the meaning of his wild communication. She refused to acknowledge that she understood he was offering his heart or inviting her to be family. She placed moss over the numbroot-treated wound then bound it there with the vines. "Keep this on for at least one rise and fall of the big lightmaker, and make sure you wash your wound with good water after heating it up."

Wolf looked lost, mouth open, tail wagging. His eyes were still on hers.

"You have family that I can help you reach?"

Wolf ruffed, nodded, then howled.

Tuya stood, offering her hand. "Let's take you home, Wolf."

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