"You weren't joking," Celistar said, looking around.

Most of the city behind us had turned into rubble. Somehow, a bunch of the thatched-roof cottages were on fire. The ones we'd looked into hadn't had sources of flame, but I guess some of them had. Not sure how else they would burn like that.

A giant leg was sticking up into the air, towering over everything else and twitching a bit. The giant troglodyte of a monster had fallen with the same legendary grace I was renowned for… which was to say that it had landed head first and somehow wound up on its back for the trouble.

Poor thing probably wouldn't know majesty if it punched it in the face. You and me both, brother.

Speaking of which, that fall from grace meant that said face was in the optimal place for Viktor to punch it directly in the, well, face. Pretty much his only option since he'd have to jump or climb to hit it anywhere else, or take a detour around its gargantuan head.

Elder Mountain was almost at his destination, which honestly seemed to be doing a better job of the whole mountain thing than he was. Viktor looked almost comically small, like some sort of flea with a bone to pick. I didn't even think that the monumental lizard he was approaching had noticed him yet.

I wasn't even sure we'd be able to see what he did from this distance. Made me really wish I'd figured out that magnifying seal. It occurred to me that my other Elder probably had done so, and I opened my mouth to ask when I saw the little Viktor-spot transition into the air with one hell of a jump.

I'd have been more surprised, but I just levitated the two people next to me into the air to avoid 'fall damage'. And one of those two was a Moon Fairy. We were facing what could charitably be described as a 'reptilian landmass'. By a magic city of smoke and mirrors.

Suffice to say, it was getting pretty hard to surprise me at this point.

He'd jumped pretty early, but clearly had his timing right as the arc was bringing him down directly on the chin of the thing. Making it a good thing it hadn't recombobulated itself enough to just open its mouth, since that would have been a disaster.

The little speck of person flared red, and then the whole titanic body of the creature shook as a column of crimson was blasted skyward. A few seconds passed and we heard a whump to match the action and then another as it came back in an echo from the few remaining tall buildings behind us.

Then a series of deep sounds greeted us in quick succession, working their way up the apparently soft underside of the creature as more crimson pillars hung in the air. These Nebula-filled blasts rose from the point of impact like the splash from a large stone dropped from a bridge. They even had the same sort of viscous look to them as the mud eruptions I made.

What, it's not like I was wasting clean water or something. I even tried to avoid the frog the one time I saw one. Give me some credit. Of course, this was still my clumsy ass we're talking about, so I totally pancaked it on accident anyway. It's the thought that counts, right?

Rest in peace, Prince Bawoop. May you have many hops in the great beyond.

I watched with rapt attention as Viktor went at it. His impromptu punching bag couldn't seem to recover its wits enough between each hit to manage to scramble to its feet. It just kind of waved its massive legs and tail around while trying to shift its body enough to avoid what I'm sure was the world's most painful massage.

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The path of carnage followed our main man up the length of its underbelly, looking like a particularly gruesome set of footprints. We were much too far away to see exactly how he was performing this feat, but it was clear the blows were at an angle as the resulting damage wasn't symmetrical.

What really put me aside was just how dense the Nebula was. It reminded me of my own. I had never seen it out of him before, so I was definitely curious to how he'd hidden such a development.

Celistar seemed impressed as well. István surprised me by not really being that interested in the action. He seemed more curious about the remains of the city than anything.

The two gentlemen definitely kept me guessing, that's for sure.

Finally, it appeared our foe had enough. A wave of energy swept out, forcing Viktor back. He fell heavily to the ground, but I saw him immediately start moving our direction, so it was clear he'd sustained no real damage.

The city-lizard, however, was a different story. It had injuries all up in its business, to the point where I almost felt sorry about it. Almost, because it quickly regained its feet once it was clear of the pest that was Elder Mountain.

None of the wounds were bleeding much, the same as how the slicing and dicing Lead Chef István had performed did not produce much in the way of blood.

Celistar had noticed as well. She squinted at it.

"It's a special world spirit, similar to me." She said, coming to a conclusion after a fashion. "Only… not. It was clearly born of a strong Will, but I can't figure out what Alignment it is for the life of me."

I stared at it as well. Usually between my vision and my vibes, there wasn't a whole lot of detail that escaped me. This was different though.

"I think I know what you mean, I just get 'lizard' from it. Which I mean, duh," I said after a decent amount of time looking - during which it had turned to the side and bent awkwardly to do something with its mouth. It was clear that it wasn't used to having to do such things. I imagine it mostly used that incredibly fast tongue.

Ah, right, that tongue. That was definitely going to be a problem.

"István, you're going to want to get that whatever that cutting cannon was ready again. Its tongue is going to be a bother long before it gets here."

"Sorry, the Squeaky Scalpel was one-time use," István said.

"The what?" Both Celistar and I said the same thing, then glanced at each other.

"That device, it's called…" he began.

"I mean, I heard you," I told him, working my finger in my ear like I was trying to get his words unstuck. "But I wish I hadn't."

"It fits, though," he said.

I opened my mouth and raised a finger, then lowered it.

"It's not a matter of appropriateness," Celistar said, "but rather magnitude that we're at odds with."

Her and that fancy language. I will admit I sometimes missed having her backing my brain up as a full-time job. Almost made me feel like going back and actually paying attention in what little schooling I'd actually been able to attend. Almost.

Would also have been easier to do if my brain weren't composed of a dozen yowling cats on a good day.

"Ah, I feel alive again," came a voice from the side. Somewhere during my accidental introspection, Viktor had returned.

"You have a bit of red on you," Celistar said, sauntering up to him with a smile and flicking a piece of what I'm pretty sure was lizard off his shoulder.

Saying it was a 'bit of red', made the 'Squeaky Scalpel' seem like a completely apt name in comparison. There wasn't any of him that wasn't red.

I realized now upon seeing him that the thick columns of Nebula I'd seen hadn't come from him; it'd been that behemoth's blood.

I stared for a few seconds and realized that my thoughts weren't quite right. It wasn't really ichor like I'd thought. It had the color, but the viscosity was far too high, and it was too uniform. Thickened and condensed lizard, if you will.

The ground beneath my feet shook, prompting me to look back, where the problem of the day was eating the slab that had fallen off of it. So that's what it was doing.

As it tossed it into the air to snap it's jaws shut and swallow it down, I caught a decent look at the chunk and realized that it was completely uniform, just like the mess on the mountain of man beside me. Nothing in there but one solid color and texture.

It was as though Gran had made a family-sized dessert mold of a lizard and poured cranberry gelatin into it. This guy, though, she'd forgotten to stop pouring.

I stared up at the towering hulk of… well, something, as it lumbered towards us. It had the remnants of its shoulder between its jaws, slowly masticating it as it went.

The serving size was accurate, at least.

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