3

Hawk

"I will leave this final log for anyone who finds this journal intact. For it means that I am dead, and have failed."

Felix shivered as he stood outside of the small hovel, hands rubbing together as he tried to warm them up.

"Why is it always at night time?" he muttered to himself. He probably wouldn't have complained so much had it not been for the fact that Helen ordered him to come without his cloak and guardsmen garb. He instead had his cheap clothes for when he was off-duty. Clothes that had no business in being out so late in the Frost's chill.

As Felix contemplated bailing the meeting, a figure emerged from the darkness to his right. He nearly jumped at the shadow, hand brushing against the sheath of his knife as the figure approached the lantern light. He relaxed when he saw the familiar shape of the Wizard's hat.

"Falrick?" Felix asked. "I thought we weren't supposed to wear our clothes in case we get recognized?"

"Who told you that?" Falrick asked as he tipped his hat's brim up, the idle snow on it falling to the side. The wizened old man looked quite warm in that fur-lined cloak.

"Helen, of course," Felix hissed. "She said this was supposed to be a secret meeting for Freyja's sake."

"Secret, huh?" Falrick glanced at the hut they stood outside of. It was a small, homely building near the edge of the town's eastern border. Felix knew this place very well, and he had no doubts Falrick did as well. He could see how the Wizard's expression changed once he processed where they were.

"Is this…?"

The door to the hovel swung open, surprising both guardsman and sorcerer. Helen stood there, head turning to make sure the area was clear. After a moment of silence, she focused on the two confused men.

"Get in before someone spots you both," she said simply before she turned and walked back inside. Felix just stared at the open door, still shivering. Falrick just gave a dejected sigh before stepping inside the hovel.

"You mean I didn't have to wait out here?" Felix muttered, despite the question reaching neither of the two. He took in a breath of the cold air before he stepped into the small hut, the door closing behind him.

When Felix entered the main room, he was greeted by a wooden round table, candles lit upon it as others took their seats. He recognized this meeting room as the same one they had conferred in last year. Back when they had planned to out Falrick the Wizard, with Lowe's help. Now, however, instead of a boisterous drifter and a stressed-out Shaman, Felix only saw three of the seats occupied.

Falrick took over the spot Lowe usually sat at, the chair groaning as he sat his weight on it. Beside him, Elaine sat in Haggard's spot, face pale. He wasn't sure if it was from the cold or from the realization of what this meeting entailed. At the other side of the table, across from Felix, sat Helen. She, too, had a grim look about her, her blue eyes watching the flames of the candle dance about.

Only once Felix took his own seat did he notice the lumbering form of Silas standing nearby, the orc's gaze downcast to the ground. Silence permeated the hut, the only sounds being the creaking wood and melted wax hitting the candle's pan.

"Alright, I suppose I'll explain why we're all here," Helen started, her hand producing a map from her satchel. She laid it out on the table, Elaine moving the candle out of the way as she did so. It was a map of Yorktown, the same one that they used for battle plans back in the longhouse. Only now, it had a few new additions.

"According to Silas, the orcs are going through what he calls a war ritual. They will drink and celebrate tonight in preparation for tomorrow," the veteran continued as she flattened the map. "In which they will raid us."

No one said a word at that. Felix and Silas already knew about it, and Falrick and Elaine already had an idea of what the commotion at the North was about. Even so, Felix couldn't help but note the tension in the Bard's grip as she held onto the table. It was like she was trying to keep herself from falling.

"Now, there is another development," Helen said. "Falrick made contact with the Raven Keep in Vindis earlier today. Both Nathan and Haggard have been notified of our situation, and we've been updated on the goings of the outside world."

Felix could feel a sense of hope flare within, despite himself. For some damn reason, a deeper part of himself wished that perhaps something had changed since Helen's talk with him earlier that day.

"Falrick and I have spoken about it, and according to the information Haggard and Nathan provided, things have gotten from bad to worse," Helen said hesitantly.

"Worse?" Elaine asked, finally breaking her silence. "How could things have gotten worse?"

Helen didn't meet her gaze. She closed her eyes, a deep sigh escaping her lips. "James is dead."

The entire room went into a stunned silence. Not even the wood creaked during those seconds of horrific quiet. Felix just stared at the veteran, whose sour expression said it all.

"No…" Felix muttered. "You can't be serious."

"Rumors are that Jarl Ivan stabbed him in the back during their supposed negotiations," Falrick said. "They're only rumors, but Nathan told me that there is confirmation that the Hawk Clan possesses Frostbite. And as for James, no one has heard from him ever since those negotiations."

"That doesn't mean he's—"

"Felix," Helen said softly. "It's been weeks. James hasn't been spotted since. There has been no message from him since. And Ivan has clearly taken Frostbite from him. He is dead. That is that."

Felix slumped in his chair, feeling disbelief wash over him. James, dead? The same man who once delved into danger time and time again, avoiding the clutches of fate every time. The man who had saved Yorktown and Vindis. The one who had turned his home into a booming town of opportunity. Dead.

"And even if he somehow was still alive," Falrick said. "We can't expect his help. Our time has run out, and we must prepare for the upcoming battle."

Helen nodded solemnly. "Falrick and I have come up with a plan, one that requires the utmost secrecy from both Seamus and Dahlia." She pointed toward the map, which had new markings around the far eastern side of the island. "Our contacts in Vindis can spare us a few ships to the island. We can evacuate the townsfolk through them."

"How are we going to do that?" Felix asked. "The sheer cliffs around that section of the island make it impossible to scale without certain equipment."

"Nathan will accompany the ships," Falrick revealed. "He has some spells that could assist the townspeople in getting down safely."

"And what of Dahlia and Seamus?" Elaine spoke up, breaking her silence. "Why do we have to keep this secret from them?"

Helen didn't answer that. Neither did Falrick. Yet Felix could already sense the answer to the Bard's question.

"We're sending them away the day of the raiding," Felix muttered. "So they can be evacuated to safety."

The silence that followed his words was almost deafening. It was only after a long few seconds that Helen finally said, "We can't let them stay. They are vital in leading the remainder of our people. If they decide to stay behind, which they most certainly will, they will die."

"Oh gods," Elaine whispered. "Marshal, you're making it sound like we're not going to win this."

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"We're not," Helen said gruffly. "Not in our situation. Even with our detachment in Vindis, reinforcements won't get here until it's too late. Even with Nathan's magical winds. That is why they'll be focusing their efforts on evacuating who they can."

"But…" Elaine trailed off. "What are we going to do?"

"We're going to hold them back as long as we can," Falrick said. "A final stand, I should say."

"That's why we're having this meeting," Helen said. "I need Felix and Silas to explain the situation to their respective fronts by morning. Anyone can leave, but we must hammer in how vital it is to hold back the orcs. The longer they are kept at bay, the more chance we have of evacuating the townspeople safely."

The veteran turned to Elaine, who seemed to shake slightly. It was clear that the Bard was nervous. Scared, even. Felix could feel nothing but sympathy toward the young woman. She had joined their clan for the adventure and glory, not for the brutal realities of warfare. He watched as Helen's expression softened, her voice coming out in a soothing tone.

"Elaine," Helen spoke. "It pains me to ask this of you, given your inexperience with combat. Your spells and utterances are tools that can be invaluable to us during the raid. Will you be willing to stay and assist? I won't deny you the chance to leave with the townspeople."

Elaine opened her mouth to speak but stopped herself. She was silent for a few tense moments, her fingers rapping on the wooden table. Felix couldn't even read the expression on her face as she looked straight down, her black bangs cascading over her face. Just as he was sure they weren't going to get a straight answer, Elaine finally spoke.

"I…I want to leave," she said, her gaze still on the table. Felix felt his shoulders sag a little at the answer. It wasn't unexpected, given the situation. Still…

"But," Elaine continued, voice still shaky. "I also can't just leave everyone else here. Not when they're willing to give their lives for the town. I… I won't be able to live with myself if I do leave and all of you die."

The room was filled with a somber air as Elaine held back tears, sniffling all the while. No one said a thing about it.

"Seamus will be led away from the battle, right?" Falrick asked. "Same with Dahlia?"

"I've spoken to Kate about it," Felix said. "After Helen asked me to. Rowan said she'll make sure Seamus leaves."

"I've managed to convince Dahlia as well," Helen said. "Thankfully for us, she didn't catch news of the war ritual the orcs are doing. Right now, she's at her hut, catching sleep."

"So it's settled, then?" Falrick said. "Starting before dawn, all townspeople who are able to evacuate will be sent with Dahlia and Seamus to the eastern side of the island. Given the trip from Vindis to Yorktown, Nathan and his ships should arrive roughly eight hours after sunrise. We will need to hold out until then."

Everyone gave solemn nods, their faces stricken with looks that Felix couldn't exactly read in the candlelight. Was it grief? Fear? Perhaps a mix of both and then some. Felix wasn't sure. He stayed seated as Helen and Falrick began to lay out details, logistics, and the defenses they still had.

Slowly, as the night grew late, the group dissipated. Silas headed to his camp to prepare for tomorrow, Falrick left to catch whatever sleep he could, and Elaine finally decided to leave for her hut, if only to spend a night in peace.

In the end, it was only Felix and Helen who left the hovel together as the night's cold grew to a freezing crescendo. He breathed in the frosty air, lungs burning a little as if they were inhaling fumes.

"So we really are doing this," he said finally. "Our last stand."

"Yes we are," Helen agreed, face pensive as she watched the night sky. No moon shone through the clouds, leaving only the murkiness of darkness that lay beyond the torchlight.

Felix turned to her, frowning as he watched her. The veteran showed no sign of emotion, her expression that of stone. Yet within those blue eyes of hers, he could see the flicker of worry and concern.

"I suppose this is goodbye then," Felix muttered. Helen glanced at him suddenly, brow creasing. Before she could say anything, he continued. "Let's drop whatever sentimentalities and state the obvious, Marshal. We're both commanders of our own fronts, each over an hour's walk away. You know as well as I do that we won't be seeing each other after tonight."

Helen was quiet for a moment, her expression falling as she looked back out at the darkness. Finally, she said, "Did I ever tell you of my time before the marauders?"

"Only that you once served with the mercenaries hired under Redyr," Felix said. "Beyond that, not much."

Helen nodded. "Mercenary work was something that came with little baggage and responsibility. You only cared for the job given to you and the coin that was owed by the end of it. Not that it was all lonely. Sometimes, there was a connection with the people you worked with, fellow swords for hire, who were basically your only friends. Even then, I don't have enough fingers to count the amount of times I had to face them in opposing jobs. Mercenaries aren't exactly loyal, y'know."

Felix nodded as she spoke, trying his best to imagine Helen as a much younger lady, blonde hair cropped short and face devoid of scars and wrinkles.

"Joining the marauders didn't change much," Helen continued. "I barely had a connection with the fellows there, and the ones I did get to know didn't last long during our raids. It was like being with the mercenaries during the war; only this time, I was killing rich merchants and raiding Halvorson lands. I… I suppose I didn't think I deserved anything better." She trailed off for a moment, seemingly reminiscing. Felix considered saying something but stopped himself when he saw how Helen shook herself back to her story.

"When I fought you back during the Yorktown raid, I told myself that it was the only option I had," Helen said. "That if I didn't do as ordered, I'd suffer a fate worse than death. I saw what Deimos could do, the pain he could inflict. Perhaps that's why I held back when Haggard showed up. Maybe, deep inside, I wanted one of you to deal the finishing blow."

Felix recalled that fight. Helen had fought desperately like a drowning man, grasping for something to hold. She had even used a fireball rune on him. He almost doubted that she wanted to lose. Then he remembered what Haggard had said.

"She could've killed you when she wanted, with that knife on her belt. Every wound she dealt was nonlethal."

"I'm probably sounding like some dolt," Helen said with a nervous laugh. "Making excuses for my worst mistakes. I should—"

"No," Felix said, surprising even himself. "You're fine. You can continue."

Helen just stared at him, expression unreadable. After what felt like an eternity and was probably just a few seconds, she continued.

"When I joined James on that quest of his, I expected the worst. Either I die out of his sheer incompetence, or I'd be free and allowed to live my life." Helen sighed. "I almost did die back on that ship. Tried to give Seamus a chance to live, to at least be some kind of bargaining chip for the Lumen Knights. Of course, that didn't end up happening."

Felix knew well of the story of Hugo Ardel's demise. The Lumen Knight had nearly killed Helen that day, smashing her head against the deck and mangling her left hand. Yet she had preserved, saving Seamus and Lilith and helping them kill the bastard.

"I never expected to be thrust into this clan business after that," Helen said. "Never expected to end up like that fool, Harald."

"Why did you stay?" Felix asked. He couldn't help it. This was a question that had nagged at him for months now, ever since the former marauder had joined their ranks. "You never had to stay. You could've left at any point after your recovery. Yet you didn't. Why?"

"Well I stayed to make sure Seamus wouldn't get himself," Helen murmured, seemingly unsure herself. "It didn't take long before I found myself not wanting to leave this town, these people. Damn my soul, I got attached." She scoffed at that, like having feelings was a weakness of some sort. Then her face quickly fell, and her shoulders sagged a bit. Felix could swear he saw the veteran age before his eyes.

"I love this town," Helen said softly. "I love the friends I made, the allies that would die for me despite my past. I love the clan and its people. I love waking up every morning to see our town has grown, the banners of the White Raven flapping proudly outside of the homes of those we helped. To see this fishing settlement, barely a town, grow into something that could make those bastards in the north sweat… I love what we've built here. What James built here." She looked at Felix with a sorrowful look. "It's a dangerous feeling, Felix. It means that there are only two ways this all ends. Either we watch it all die, or it watches us die."

Felix could feel his throat run dry at her words, his blood turning cold at their implications. Which way would it turn out for him? He felt like he knew the answer. Helen seemed to know this as well, given her solemn expression.

"Sorry," she muttered. "I'm bad at these kinds of talks."

"I've noticed."

Helen gave a dry chuckle. "Well, I'm sorry for that long tangent I went on. I only wanted to let you know that I've never had something like this. Never had a home to call my own before. At least, not in so long." She looked around at the dark surroundings, the town barely illuminated by the distant torches of the watchtowers. "I'm fine with dying here. I've made peace with it. My end would've come sooner or later. I only ask if you, Felix Arlo, are ready?"

Felix sighed, his hands rubbing together as he tried to warm them. "If you asked me if I was afraid ten minutes ago, I would've answered with a resounding yes. Now… I'm not exactly sure." He felt more resolute about the fight ahead, his nerves not as on edge as before. "Sometimes, I wonder what would've happened if James never arrived at Yorktown. Would things have turned out the same." He shook his head. He knew better now. "I probably would've died then, if not by you, then by the marauders. Whatever happens tomorrow, I'll face it head on."

Helen smiled at that, a fist playfully striking at Felix's shoulder. "Me and you both, then."

The Captain felt something within him spark at her expression, at the way she grinned at him. A feeling that he did not think he could feel again, not since his closest friend, Thomas, was killed all those months ago.

'I suppose enough time has passed for me,' Felix thought. 'No more moping.'

He smiled and brushed off Helen's hand. "I'd be seeing you, Marshal," he said, almost jokingly.

"Seeing you as well," Helen chuckled as Felix began to walk off. "Once it's all over, let's get some drinks."

"As long as you pick up the tab," Felix called back with a wave, his smiles strained as he walked. He dared not even bother to look at the veteran. For he knew that he'd break if he did.

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