Zero to Hero: A High Fantasy Harem Romance LitRPG

I-XXX: The Boss


When they heard our screams, every goblin's head popped up.

Jorn closed the gap to the closest goblin in two strides.

It shouted, "They're—" before Jorn slammed his shield into its face, knocking a dozen teeth into the air.

Just as a dozen swords left their scabbards, Tristan and I entered the fray. My sword swung, taking one of the goblins' heads clean off. Tristan's mace found another's shoulder, and that one practically broke in half under the strike.

"Lay down your weapons, or face the Goddess's judgment!" Jorn kicked, punting a goblin against the cart so hard its skull burst open against the wheel.

I didn't watch what happened next, because three of the goblins screamed and charged me.

My arm came up, and my shield blocked the first attack. A second caught my greave, and a third hit my breastplate.

"I've got you!" Tristan's mace arced over my shield, snapping a goblin's shoddy sword in two and caving its face in.

Slashing diagonally, I caught another in the neck. Blood sprayed in the air as Tristan followed up, crushing another's arm before rearing back and striking it again, putting it into the dirt.

"Get your asses up and get them!" Rutz screamed and pointed his sword at us. A group of goblins who'd remained guarding the cart broke off, weapons waving, toward me and Tristan.

Placing myself between them and her, I took a defensive stance. "Tristan. Try that new spell."

"On it!" I felt my skin warm as the air grew brighter. "Mighty Goddess, grant your servants the strength to overcome the evil in this world!"

[Holy Light]

White energy exploded around me, so bright I had to close my eyes. I felt white-hot energy shoot past my head. It sounded like a mix between a wind chime and a fire. As it rushed past, I cracked my eyes and watched as her spell struck the central goblin, a small, gangly female. The instant Tristan's light struck her, her body evaporated into white motes of energy.

The others stopped in their tracks and looked at one another, panicked. "Run!" one of them shouted, and they rushed to hide behind the cart.

"You got more of those in you?" I asked.

"Yeah. Maybe two."

"Good. Stick with me."

"Will do."

I marched forward, shield leveled, toward Jorn.

The Guardian had taken on the bulk of the group and had already put down half of them. Slowly, he was making his way to Rutz, who'd never stopped barking orders.

"Wall up!" Spittle flew from his cracked lips, but the goblins weren't obeying him. Another fell as Jorn's blade cut its stomach open.

"Bastards, listen! Wall up, and we can defeat him!" Two more died to Jorn's shield before the words even left the goblin's lips.

The two goblins nearest Jorn threw down their weapons and ran for the mines.

Before they could enter the mine, however, two streaks of metal flashed in the air. An instant later, one screamed and grabbed at his face, and the other fell to the ground, twitching. A knife was buried to the hilt in his throat.

Looking over his shoulder, Rutz's face dropped. "Boss!" one of them screamed.

"You idiots bit off more than you could chew." A small, hooded figure appeared in the gloom of the tunnel. "And you thought I wouldn't find out about it." Two daggers appeared in their hands. Their hands blurred, and two more goblins fell to the ground, dead. "This is why we don't take prisoners, and this is why we don't do slaves." The figure's voice was feminine, but sharp, biting.

"The money was good! And it was from Bael! How could we not take the job?!" Rutz shouted at her, the gap between him and Jorn rapidly closing.

She shook her head. "We're shit, but aren't that shit." The little woman crossed her green arms. She was a goblin. "Baelgrim can go fuck himself sideways."

"He'd have killed us if we didn't take his jobs!" Rutz raised his sword an instant before Jorn took his head off.

"And I'll kill you for taking them!" Two more daggers flashed. One buried itself in Rutz's shoulder. The other bounced off Jorn's shield.

"Whose side are you on?!" Jorn called out to the goblin woman.

"Mine." Two more throwing daggers sailed through the air, but both Jorn and Rutz dodged out of the way.

The goblins who hid behind the cart popped up, crossbows in hand, and took their shots. Three bolts slammed into my shield. One buried itself into Jorn's shoulder.

"Heal!" the older man shouted as he brought his shield up and deflected one of Rutz's attacks.

"On it!" Tristan called out. "Guard me."

Grunting in affirmation, I weathered a dozen shots as I marched toward Jorn. All but one I blocked with my shield, but the one that got through managed to bury itself in my greave. I could feel a small ping of pain as the arrowhead nicked my thigh. Swiping with my sword, I knocked the arrow out before taking my next step.

When we got close enough, Tristan left the cover of my shield. With her mace raised high, she charged and swung at Rutz, who dodged out of the way. Before he could jump back up, another dagger buried itself in his hamstring.

"Boss! Why?!"

"You always say loyalty gets you dead. You took bad jobs and have ruined my clan's reputation. So, now you gotta die." Her hand flashed, and another dagger sank into his calf.

"Hold, and grit your teeth!" Tristan wrapped her hand around the arrow in Jorn's shoulder and pulled.

"Fucking balls!"

[Healing Light]

White light poured out of Tristan's hand and into Jorn's shoulder.

"That sucks every time."

A crossbow twanged by the cart. The bolt whizzed through the air. Tristan gasped, and I leaped forward, shield raised. The bolt struck my shield, and I dropped into a roll, landing between the goblins and my lover.

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"Thanks!" Tristan positioned herself behind me.

I sprang back to my feet. "Bad call, you fucks."

Lifting my shield, I sprinted to the cart.

Thwack. Thwack. Thwack!

Bolt after bolt struck my shield. The wood began splintering under the barrage. The metal band surrounding the rim broke loose, then fell off. One of the boards shattered, and a bolt whizzed past my ear. But I didn't stop. Nothing would stop me.

Sliding to a halt just outside the goblins' melee range, I spun, my sword coming out wide, slashing a deep furrow into one of the goblins' bellies.

"Get back!" Another cried out and tried to leap away, but he backed into his fellow, whose crossbow clicked, and its bolt erupted from his companion's eye. With a heave, I swung my broken shield with everything I had. The jagged edge caught the remaining goblin's face, shattering in a hail of splinters as the goblin's head caved in.

I felt something sharp hit my belly, then a second thing struck me. Looking down, I saw two bolts piercing through my breastplate. One had buried itself halfway into my stomach. Looking up at them, I grinned. "You think that'll put me down, do you?" I grabbed my sword in both hands and stepped forward. "That's barely even a fucking scratch."

One of the goblin's eyes nearly bugged out of its head. The other scrambled to pull his crossbow's lever back.

That was all the time I needed. I darted forward and, with two upward slashes, dispatched both of the vile creatures.

Reaching down, I pulled the loose bolt out, but the other was going to suck. Badly. "Heal!"

"I can't!"

As I lowered my sword and took a breath, I glanced toward the mine entrance, only to see Jorn standing over Rutz, who was bleeding out on the ground. Past him, the small goblin woman was standing at the mine's entrance, twin curved short swords drawn and ready.

"Surrender," Jorn told her. "If you do, we won't kill you."

"Oh?" The woman chuckled. "You won't, will you?"

"Nope. I believe—"

"That's all fine and noble of you, Templar. But I don't do surrender, and I never trust people who say they've got my back." She flipped both of her blades around and caught them. As she did, her hood fell back, exposing her face. She had thick, wavy black hair and bright red eyes that almost seemed to glow in the shadows of the mine. She kept her hair loose, and it was cut short enough that it barely reached her shoulders. She had a sharp jaw, a slightly upturned nose, and long, pointed ears. Contrary to my imagination, there was no doubt in my mind that she'd be considered beautiful if it weren't for her eyes, which were cold and merciless. "You got your men back. That should be enough. And my men acted against my orders. I'm glad they're dead."

"These men were yours. It's on you to take responsibility. If the Goddess wills it, you'll be granted mercy—"

She cackled. "The Goddess? Show me mercy? Have you seen me?" She gestured at herself. "The Goddess has never once shown mercy to the blight I call my kind. I'm a fucking goblin!"

"I don't believe that." Jorn stepped forward. "I'm a piece of shit. Lived life hard, and loose. Fucked everything that moved, then disappeared when I got bored. She showed me mercy. Why wouldn't she do the same for you?"

The goblin was still giggling. "You know, Templar, you've got a real funny view on how the world works." Licking her lips, she snapped her fingers and pointed at the sky. "You were meant to live in this light of Hers. I was shaped by the fucking Dark Lord to eat babies and burn kittens alive. We're not the same."

He frowned. "I'm trying to give you an out. I'm begging you, please take it." He stepped forward into a ready stance. He could cross the distance between them in two strides, maybe three, but he had at least three daggers sticking in him, and blood was pouring from some other wounds he'd gotten fighting Rutz.

"Do your begging with someone else." She flourished her blades and took a fighting stance. She smirked. "Just know that I'm quite a bit stronger than these idiots were. Why roll the dice?"

"Your choice." He leveled his blade at her. "A Shame. You're easy on the eyes." His entire body tensed. I could tell he was ready to attack.

"Jorn!" I called out to the man.

Without looking, he answered, "What?"

"Just leave it." Walking out from behind the cart, I held the bolt sticking in my gut in place so it wouldn't jostle as I walked. "She helped us fight. There's no reason to continue."

The Templar frowned. "It isn't right. I took oaths. And people are dead because of her. Good people."

Tristan appeared at my side. "No offense, Jorn, but I agree. Leave her. I don't have enough mana to patch you up if you get hurt more than you already have been." She reached out and touched my chest.

[Healing Light]

I felt the wounds in my stomach burn. "Fuck..." With a groan, I ripped the bolt out of my belly. I nearly blacked out, but as her magic did its thing, the pain in my stomach vanished. "Thanks, Tris."

She nodded, then looked back at Jorn. "It's not worth it. We got our people back. Let her go."

The grin on the goblin's face widened. "You really should listen to them, Jorn. The cute one's got a good head on his shoulders. The girl, too. Don't be stupid."

"I don't like it..." Jorn kept his shield raised.

The goblin's eyes met mine. "What's your name?"

I didn't know if it was the right call or not to answer, but fuck it. "Alex. You?"

She nodded. "Vral. Vral the Slasher." She looked at me expectantly, but when I didn't respond, she added, "Of the Slashers?"

I looked at Tristan, but she shook her head. "Jorn, you know her?"

His frown had grown deeper. "Local mercenary group. They take on all kinds of jobs that other, more reputable companies pass up while still staying on this side of the law." His eyes flickered to the woman. "At least, that's what I'd heard."

Vral shrugged. "It's mostly true."

"Why ruin your reputation for this job?" I asked.

"Wasn't my idea. I'm happy to fuck people up for money, but I don't do slaves, and I don't do prisoners. Too messy."

"Who's Baelgrim?" I thought that was the name I'd heard.

Her eyes narrowed. "Why do you want to know?"

"He's hurt a lot of people." I paused. "We're going to be coming for him, and soon."

Her eyes softened. "You're a goodie goodie, huh?" She looked me over. "I don't know much. I just take jobs from him from time to time. He's willing to work with my kind, so I take what I can get."

"Are you loyal to him?"

She shook her head. "I told the old man: I'm loyal to me." She sheathed her swords. "Baelgrim's a noble in Galden. Thinks he's a big shot. Lots of money, tons of connections. Wouldn't mind seeing him taken down a peg, even if it would cut my funds in half." She shook her head. "I'm probably fucked for coming down on my men like this. We need the money. Not sure how I'll pull my ass out of this fire." She looked over at the Templars in the cage. "But it don't sit right with me, doing things like this. Been there, done that. It ain't fun."

An idea came to me. Walking over the Rutz, I pulled out the two bags of money he had on him. "Here." I threw the bags to her. "That should cover you for a minute, right?"

She looked down at the bags. "Why?"

I shrugged. "Seems like the right thing to do."

Her eyes never left mine as she knelt to pick the bags up. "Huh."

I looked at her, then Jorn. "What now?"

Jorn shrugged. "I'm just old and stupid. You're the leader on this job." His eyes never left Vral. "And if you think this is the right call, I'll go with it. Even if I don't like it."

With a nod, I sheathed my sword. "I'm not going to thank you, but we appreciate the help."

She nodded. "Thanks for helping me clean out my trash." She turned. "Until next time, Alex." With that, she disappeared into the mine.

Jorn sighed and sheathed his sword. "I don't like it."

"Me neither, but we couldn't fight anymore."

Tristan walked up to Jorn and began yanking out daggers. The man howled with every weapon that she pulled out of him.

[Healing Light]

White light sank into his skin.

Looking over at the templars, I said, "I wonder why they haven't moved."

Rubbing his arm where Tristan had pulled out a knife, Jorn said, "That crazy chick made them drink some potion. Knocked them all out." He walked up to the cage and grabbed some of the bars. With a heave, he bent them open like they were bamboo. "Help me drag them out."

We spent the next fifteen minutes moving the Templars out into the clearing. When we were done, we sat down and looked at one another.

"What a day."

"Yeah." Tristan closed her eyes. "I'm spent."

Jorn laughed. "Hey, I was the human sacrifice. I deserve some comfort and support."

"You were a big, strong, brave boy, Jorn." Tristan scooched over to him and rubbed his head like he was a pet dog, which made him laugh even harder.

"Maven always gives me shit, and now you, too." His grin stretched to both ears. "You know something? You kids are alright." He sat and took the petting for a few moments before pushing her hands away.

With a big smile, she scooched beside me and rested her head on my shoulder. "You did great."

"I really did, didn't I?"

"Ass! That was your chance to say I did great, too."

We looked at one another and chuckled.

However, before anyone else could say anything else, something crashed in the forest.

"Goddess, what now?!" Tristan yelled. Wobbling to her feet, she knelt and picked up her mace. "Just a minute! That's all I'm asking for!"

I squinted into the forest. Whatever made the noise had sounded big.

Jorn stood and picked up his shield. "Well, one more fight, I guess."

I nodded and stood. "Looks like it." Pulling out my sword, I used my Fighter skill.

[Second Wind]

Every nerve in my body flared to life, and then I felt like I'd slept for a week. "Let's do this."

All three of us waited, weapons raised, but as the bushes parted, my heart skipped a beat.

"What the...?"

"Is that...?"

"The Fuck?"

Standing in front, bobbling on what looked suspiciously like two long chicken legs, was Greta's house. Her front door opened, and a step ladder tumbled down the hallway, out the front door, across the porch, and landed perfectly on the ground.

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