Dear Diary,

I think that getting reminded I was isekaied, that I'm not from around here, makes me forget who and what I am here, at least just a little bit.

Seriously, like a week ago I was literally looking into the hidden desires in my Worshippers' secret selves in order to fulfill those desires in safe, mutually enjoyable ways. I had sex with half a dozen people, not just in public, but in ways that put us, mostly them, on display. I put them on display as a way of showing that I accepted them, that they were beautiful and special and worthy of celebration; not just their accomplishments or whatever else, but who they were as people. I was on display not because I'd put myself forward, but because I was who the people, the audience, had come to see. My Worshippers came to see me, to see me look deep inside one of them, then spend as much time as I needed giving that one what they needed. They Worship me as they do so, and I can feel it, and I cycle that back to elevating the one I'm with at the time.

I mean, as much as I can, anyway. I'm not there to literally blow them up like some kind of balloon. But using it to make the one I'm with happy, satisfied, fulfilled, to feel seen, appreciated, loved? What the fuck else would I use it for. I mean, okay, yeah, to protect them when some asshole God or Dragon or whatever else comes tromping in looking to spout their verbal or other diarrhea all over the place. So I guess maybe I'm... oh, fuck. How am I just realizing now that I'm a Love Battery? Like, seriously, my preferred form of Worship seems to be Love Languages, and while I'm tryna give back, I'm also definitely storing the excess up, and when shit goes down, I'm gonna wind up going all Lovecraftian Magical Girl on the shit which is going down. Unless they are literally going down, in which case I might get distracted. It's kinda my kryptonite, I think.

At any rate, I did all that, and then Kitten reminds me I'm not from around here, and I spend the day just chillin' like a villain with my Wives. Shit, I guess I've been doing that all week, but still.

I guess I'm also worried that forgetting that I was isekaied, that I'm not from around here, makes me forget why I want to be who I want to be.

So yesterday I spent the day noodling around around Muscogee just doing tourist shit with my ladies. I mean, 'tourist shit' for a certain primitive value of 'tourist shit', which included a visit to a completely legal brothel, and I'd be a fuckin' hypocrite if I tried to act like I have some kind of moral problems with sex work, what with my Temple not only renting out space to sex workers, but having at least one full blown Priest who was himself a former street walker. Shit, he had a whole assed poster with his specialties on it, specifically for folks who might not be as fully literate as scholars and Academy educated folks.

Kinda funny, but after Saffron's epic dessert time and Marie claiming the trophy for Best At Sex, the six of us met up and swapped partners. Karen wandered off with Marie and Tallulah, which left me feeling some kinda way, and I continued touring with Saffron and Siobhan. Lest it be misconstrued, I think the feeling, if it had any rational basis whatsoever, had more to do with Marie being Very Obviously Pregnant than any other kind of thing. I guess wanting to be within arms reach of the one with the delicate condition wasn't an exclusively guy thing. But at the same time, Tallulah and Karen were perfectly competent bodyguards, and Siobhan was both the only noncombatant and also pregnant, even if she hadn't blown up like a giant fuzzy balloon. Like, seriously, by this point I swear Marie's torso was half again as big as it had been before she got preggers.

I definitely felt like something when Saffron convinced Siobhan to climb up on my shoulders, then hopped up into a princess carry, so I could cart them around town. When I gave her a look, she said, "but I'm so full after all that pastry. Please, love?"

Siobhan took me from grudgingly convinced and laughing at myself to just being a goober walking down the street carrying my ladies when she chimed in and said, "yes, please, Tabitha?"

We all met up before the big show for the day. I kept my eyes out, and spotted three of the local 'houses' that actors came out of or ducked into. Basically the entrances to 'backstage', I guess. Also very likely the way to the local 'security' room or whatever. Of course after the show, while a few of the folks in masks stayed for a moment to do a kind of farewell encore song, during which the black clad stage hands cleared out the props and shit, none of the actors or hands stuck around to talk. There were a couple of people watching the show alongside us, but when I glanced at them I got the impression they'd either seen the show before and were there to scope out the new tourists, or they were security making sure the tourists didn't get handsy with the, y'know, non-sex worker population.

Shit, given the bad behavior of the 'nobility' and 'divinity' I'd come across here and now, I didn't blame them.

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When we got home, a quick confab had us all agreeing that whatever 'government' Muscogee had likely had some kind of close, direct connection to the big daily 'play'.

Of course during that mental discussion, Saffron had Marie and I move the sofa around to face the bed, plonked Karen and I on the sofa, and then proceeded to put on a very explicit vignette with Siobhan while Marie did the same thing with Tallulah. At one point when all four of them paused to catch their breath, Karen said, "pardon, Imp... Saffron, but what are we supposed to be doing again?"

Saffron looked up at us, smirked, chuckled, then outright laughed before saying, "well, you could be judging our 'Ranked Competitive Sex', or..."

I got the weirdest combination of excited and worried when Karen said, "or?"

Saffron nodded toward me. "Participating? In the competition or in our team building exercise?"

My Highest Priestess gave my Kitten all the side eye and said, "team building exercise?"

Kitten just nodded as Siobhan moved to start stealing her attention away. We are, after all, High Clergy on a religious retreat.

Karen's mouth worked soundlessly for a second, at which point she turned to me and said, "Goddess? I... what? Help?"

I couldn't help it. I dropped my Blend and, fuzzy as fuck, switched to full on boy mode and shrugged. "Told you before, Karen. No pressure either way." I scooched over to the middle of the sofa, then stretched my arms along the back of the sofa, coincidentally putting one arm behind her. "I could lounge here all night lazily enjoying this view." I realized right then that I absolutely could do that and not feel any kind of way. "Or you could wait your turn and enjoy one of them, too." All tension gone from me, I turned and smiled lazily at her. "Or you could convince me to exert myself just enough to spend the night enjoying you."

Yeah. Hell of a night. Nice capstone for our vacation.

Dreamt of my ladies doing shit like they'd choreographed it. Not sure when they practiced, but not gonna complain. My maw tasted of love and joy.

In the morning, as I lay there listening to everyone but Marie sleep, and maybe clocked a few of her infinitesimal big cat snores, Siobhan bounced upright, her hands going over her mouth. "Oh, Goddess!" Then she disappeared.

I stepped to her side to find her in the little closet bathroom in our bedroom at home. Kneeling over the porcelain throne, emptying the few bits that remained in her guts from the night before. Then retching over, and over, and over. I held her hair back as Saffron thought, do you need our help, love?

I rubbed my hand in little circles on Siobhan's lower back while she kept retching. Shit. I'm not super copacetic about leaving you four down there without me. But... shit.

A few moments later, Marie knelt behind me, her furry body pressed against me, purring, her hands full when I turned to look at her. One claw clutched around a tureen, the other holding a stack of hard tack. "Go, Vlickies."

I twisted Siobhan's hair back into a knot, then gave Marie a quick hug. "Thanks, Mittens." After a moment like that, I said, "we'll finish up one way or the other and get back here ASAP, Darling."

Siobhan just nodded in between retches.

After getting dressed, the remaining four of us wandered Muscogee together, tried to get into some of the buildings we'd maybe clocked as 'not houses'. That included the doors we'd seen actors and crew going into and coming out of during the daily show. Nothing super rude or even covert. Just going up like saying dumb tourist shit like, "hey, wasn't there a shop here the other day?" then trying the door, or maybe knocking on a door and saying, "anybody home?" With the buildings around the 'stage', we were talking not real quietly about how we wanted to meet the actors, director, or choreographer of the shows. No joy. Everything was locked, although the constant low level Blend shenanigans had us doubting we'd even picked the right doors.

Right before show time, as we sat there tryna figure out how to maybe get in touch with somebody who could say 'yes', 'no', or 'fuck off' to our request to use Alliance resources to protect Muscogee from Europan incursions, I got a sudden rush of brains to the gut. Or something. You know what I mean.

I shook my head, turned to the ladies still with me, and said, "Just thought of something I'm gonna try. Stay together?" Stay safe, please?

Saffron just smiled and laid a hand on my cheek. "We'll be here waiting, love." Eyes open, ladies.

I gave them all hugs, then, shaking my head at how I hadn't thought of this before, stepped to M-Space. I looked around the ring of buildings. the half ring of semi-solid buildings, the remainder barely misty suggestions. I rose into the air, spotting more and more buildings which had almost none of whatever made stuff solid in M-Space. Belief. History. Memories. Whatever. Like maybe one house in a hundred actually looked anything like a real building, and most of those were in clusters, like the ones around the 'stage', the ones around the 'inn', the ones near the docks. Amusingly, the Questing Tentacle and whichever sister ship sat docked next to her both looked real, whereas the bones in the drydock weren't even there. As I rose above the hills, I belatedly realized the 'stage' was more or less in the center of Muscogee, the 'inn' was just on the far side of one of the nearest low hill from that, and the row of 'food vendors' wasn't too far from that. Okay, there were a couple more of those, each one part of a cluster of buildings near one of the 'scenic spots'. A few more clustered near the roads out of the City, which themselves were more suggestions than actual roads.

I shook my head at how really fuckin' obvious the 'real' buildings stood out from the fakes here in M-Space. Then I drifted back down to the middle of the stage. When I got there I Mimicked my Murder Mittens' sense of smell, and inhaled long and deep through my nose.

Rabbit? Lily? Come on out. We need to talk.

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