Dear Diary,

Dammit.

Up until today, pretty much everybody I've interacted with slotted neatly into some really broad categories. Friends, enemies, and the vast seething mass of humanity that didn't give a shit about me one way or another. Okay, that's not really accurate, although it might have been back in my first Season here. I guess by the time we had Calverton under siege nobody in the Alliance really didn't have an opinion about me one way or the other. Frankly, I think most of them by that time slotted me into 'defender and avenger' or 'it's better to have her in the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in'. So by then it was pretty much 'my people', 'people who don't like me or mine' and 'people who haven't decided yet', like Muscogee mostly used to be, and Compton still is, maybe.

Yeah, I'm kinda losing my own thread, which I know is par for the course, but my point is that so far I guess I've been lucky, because every time there was some kind of conflict involving somebody I care about, it's been with somebody I care less about, or somebody I actively dislike. Typically said conflict was also either trivial bullshit like who is the teacher's pet, or who gets the most bacon, or who gets kissed and who gets a mouthful of pie.

I kinda envy past me now, and in this case I'm talking about me from yesterday, not amnesiac me.

So after yesterday I wound up really worried about leaving Siobhan for the duration of the Friday night Revel, but before we left her office at the Academy Saffron straddled my lap and put her hands on my cheeks, pulling me down to meet her gaze. "Love, I absolutely adore how you've doted on Siobhan for the past few days."

I think she meant to say something more, but I interrupted with, "I'm not doting on her. She's really in bad shape, and needs someone to take care of her."

Saffron just shook her head, kissed me gently, then said, "I know that, love. Taking care of someone, especially as kindly and attentively as you've done, isn't incompatible with doting on them. It's rather the best form doting could take, under the circumstances." She pulled me down, leaning forward until our heads bunted together. "I... feel some guilt, love. I'm the one who put that child in her belly, after all."

"Not like I did anything to stop you from doing so. I..."

She interrupted me, grinning and saying, "oh, I know. You were," she paused, Grinned that gremlin grin at me, and perkily giggled out, "too late!"

I dunno what it says about me that even as one of me sat there holding sleeping Siobhan's hand, the thought of Saffron doing that still put every bit of lube in my love tunnel. "I have to get going to the Revel soon, Kitten. Please don't rev me up like that or..."

"You were too slow to stop me," she stared into my eyes as that seven syllable singsong hit me.

I shuddered, then growled out, "I'm serious, Kitten, I don't have time to be gentle or subtle or..."

"We're all alone in this suite." Another seven syllable singsong.

I was not gentle. Minutes later, as Marie puppeted a handful of me carrying dinner into the dining room for the kids and the Homestead women, Saffron smiled up at me, raking my hair out of my face with her fingers. "That's better, love. There you are. Now... are you still riding high, love?" I forced my eyes to stay open as I shuddered in reaction to yet another seven syllable singsong. "Well?"

I smirked down at her, "if I say no, are you gonna rev me up until we go so hard I need to Revive you?"

"Is that what it will take for my Goddess to be ready to receive her Worshippers in New Amsterdam?"

I sighed, rolling my eyes. "You love your job too much to do that."

She shook her head. "No, love. I have many roles I enjoy. I do thrive on being Imperator. But I was your first High Priestess, and I would give up leading the Alliance in a heartbeat if I had to choose."

I chuckled. "Guess that's your favorite title, huh?" She shook her head, grinning. "So what is?"

"Wife."

Yeah. I really tried to be gentler that time. I might even have been. As our lips slipped just far enough apart for speech, she collapsed me back to beside our bed at the Homestead and whispered, "I've got Siobhan, love. Go. They're waiting for you."

I stepped to the Altar in New Amsterdam, then froze for like, half a dozen reasons. The least important was the line of women in Glowing Midnight spiraling out from the Altar itself. Okay, cheap knockoffs, but clearly women who openly worshipped Mimic. Which was me, I get it, but still. Also, y'know, Conrad had aimed that dress design at my libido like a memetic weapon, and it hit no less hard last night than it had the night after he made the original for Saffron.

The next most important reason was the little red clad figure curtsying to me at the front of the line. "Welcome, Priestess High Set Above All Others. Welcome, Tabitha Diaz, Patron of the Alliance. Welcome, Mimic Reborn, Matriarch of the Alliance Pantheon."

Dad!

Trust, daughter.

I took a deep breath. Only because I'm taking it on faith that you are, in fact, the best.

I know.

Of course, the final reason I was kinda freaking out stayed entirely between my own ears. Because I'd never been to this spot before, and I'd stepped here like... like I was stepping to one of my own High Priestesses. Like this spot was one I knew intimately. Fuck it.

Dad!

Yes, Daughter?

How the fuck did I get here?

This is your Altar, daughter. Consecrated to you by your faithful, even in your absence. It is... part of you.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

I sighed, then flopped back onto the Altar. Thanks, Dad. You're the best.

I know

I reached out my arms to Ora, and she smiled and jumped into them. "Aren't you my Dad's High Priestess to New Amsterdam?"

She nodded. "Yes! But he's okay with this."

I looked around, and got a lot less worried when I realized Antony was standing nearby. I nodded to him, waited until I saw him nod back, then turned back to Ora. When I realized what she wanted, I relaxed completely, Shapeshifting bigger, until she was barely Daya's size compared to me. I scooped her up, set her on my lap, and sang to her as I rocked her to sleep. Poor little thing just missed her mom. Who I guess must have been a decent parent...

She died when Ora was young, from long term effects of the complications of childbirth. Ora was raised by nannies. But... she looks up to you, Daughter.

So what, I'm like her big sister or something?

Or something, yes.

Thanks, Dad. You're still the best.

I know.

I lay her down on my Altar, and Antony swept her up and carried her off. I kinda hoped he'd come back to help with the others. First Elle, who wanted me to hold her while my tentacles took care of her. Then Lane, who wanted the opposite with just as much fervor. Then Alan, who wanted, needed, with every fiber of her being, the same Boon I'd given to David. She fainted when she realized she'd gotten just that, though the smile on her face was sweeter than the other two combined.

Of course, then came Jane, who wanted... Okay, look, I know I'd stopped Madeline's heart when she wanted that, then sent her on her way to give life another chance, but that was me tryna get one of my followers, one of my Worshippers, someone who trusted me with their life and their Soul to maybe not cash out quite yet. I was not really prepared for one of my Glowing Midnight clad Priestesses to have a literal death fetish. Like, she didn't even want to be dead. Not actually suicidal in the slightest. I slipped her Soul free, stepped to M-Space, where she lay waiting on my Altar.

"Really?" I smiled down at her.

She lifted her arms, beckoning me. "Please, Goddess. Touch my very Soul."

I swallowed, because while in the Mortal Realm Jane was kinda older, maybe starting to thin out a little with age, here in M-Space she'd shed that and was definitely her best self, the self she saw herself as, and her best self-image was definitely on the 'hot' side of 'hot or not'. "Not exactly what I'm thinking of doing."

She smiled up at me, closing her eyes. "Consume me then, and use my body as you will."

I lifted her, positioned her, posed her like a doll, then leaned in and waited, my breath hot against her, until her eyes opened. "Anything?"

"Anything, Goddess."

Yeah. Kinda recreated some of what I'd done with Saffron earlier. Only, um, less gently. Because Jane kept screaming "Harder!" at the top of her fuckin' lack of lungs.

I'd never seen a Soul pass out before. She got really wispy, translucent even, but before she could discorporate I Smited her, slipped her back in her body, Revived her, which took way less Mana than most of the ones I'd done, what with her Soul being in perfect shape and, y'know, right fuckin' there, then lifted her up and trickled just enough Mana into her for her eyes to flutter open. I kissed her, then whispered, "I don't really want anybody dying for me. Go. Live for me, Jane."

Her eyes went wide, then fluttered closed, and I laid her down on the Altar. Some of the other Glowing Midnight clad women had been taking care of folks after I'd finished with them, and I smiled and nodded as the next woman stepped up. Time moves oddly in M-Space, and by the position of the sun I figured I had time for maybe one more.

That one more was Celeste. I was a little worried about timing, because Celeste was easily Jane's age. Maybe older, but she had that fucked over by life agelessness that didn't let me pinpoint it, really. She slipped onto my lap, lay her head against my chest, and I looked inside of her, into that dark place where my Worshippers hid their innermost desires. I did not expect to see my first partner of the night, little Ora Orange, flayed and choking to death on her own blood as her brother, sister, and father looked on. I checked the sun, then looked at the rest of the congregation.

"I'll be back next Friday, everyone. Sorry I couldn't get to you all tonight." Then I stepped away, carrying Celeste with me to my office, where I set her on the desk, my arms still around her. "Vengeance."

"Yes, Goddess. Please."

"What did Ora do to you?"

She stuttered, taking a long time to force the words out. "Not... not Ora. Her father. Her brother. Her sister. They took my babies. My girls."

"Where are they now?"

She shook her head, whispered, "I don't even know what they did with the bodies."

"How do you know they did it then?"

She whispered, "the other servants. I... I was a... I worked for the Oranges when they needed extra help for their soirees. One time I brought my daughters along. Ophelia saw them, 'a perfect matched set,' she said. They were twins. She took them as ladies maids." Celeste shuddered to a stop.

"What happened."

"My girls weren't trained as maids. Let alone as ladies maids. They... they displeased her. 'Embarrassed' her. She had her," she broke down sobbing, and I waited, patiently. "Her brother 'punish' them. To make it clear to the rest of the staff what would happen should any others fail her." She was silent for a bit, then whispered, "that's how I found out. They made the staff watch. Well. Oliver did. Octavio left after Oliver had beaten them half to death. Ophelia never even bothered to witness any part of my daughter's... 'punishment'."

I held myself carefully still. Kitten?

Yes, love?

I need you to get the kids to school today. And watch over Siobhan. And...

Yes, love?

I need you to have Oliver and Octavio brought to the Grand Council chambers. I'll be taking Ophelia for the day, too.

Yes, my Goddess.

I hated myself for asking, but I had to know. "How did your girls die?"

"He sacrificed them to Ares." She started to sob, then stopped herself, anger burning away the tears. "By the time he did, it was a mercy. He... he..."

I pulled her to me. "I can guess. You don't have to say it. Unless you need to." She shook her head. I held her, watching through Saffron's eyes as she led a pair of Heroes and three squads of Volunteers to Orange House, where she gathered Oliver, Octavio, and Ophelia, then stepped back to the Grand Council chamber. I turned to Celeste. "Tell me truthfully, could you accept something a little closer to Justice?"

She looked up at me, fury and hope mixing in a terrifying combination in her eyes. "Please...." I waited, and she nodded.

I stepped to the Grand Council chambers with her still in my arms. Ophelia was screaming something. I shoved a tentacle in her mouth to shut her up. "Lenny?"

"Yes, Tabby?"

"Oliver's still under a suspended death sentence, right?"

Lord Lancaster drew himself up to his full height. "He is. I take it you've reconsidered your mercy?"

"I have." He nodded, and I scooped up Octavio, Oliver, and Ophelia, then stepped the three of them and Celeste to that endless undulating plain. "Oliver. Contact Ares."

"He can hardly hear you, butcher!" Octavio screamed at me. I turned to him, and I don't know what he saw in my eyes, but he shut the fuck up. He also sat the fuck down, as did Ophelia, but that wasn't so much their choice. Octavio, because he didn't have any arms or legs, so I just held him there. And held his eyes open. Her because I forced her to sit, forced her arms down, forced her eyes open.

"You two will watch this, like you failed to watch what this asshole did to Celeste's daughters." Ophelia squirmed, and I looked her dead in the eye. "I'm not gonna try you for crimes that happened before the Alliance started. So you two get to walk after this. But... You. Will. Watch." I turned back to Oliver, reached into him with hair fine tentacles, reaching, searching, finally finding that foreign strand of Soul. It tried to disavow him, tried to writhe away, but I forced it to stay. To watch, to hear, to feel. "Yeah, asshole. You chose him. You empowered him. You get to live through his final moments."

Then I turned to Celeste, who'd been standing there in a kind of religious trance since we arrived. I stepped behind her, stepped her over to stand over Oliver, then took her hands in my own. Slipped Mana Blades out of her index fingers, leaned over to her ears, and whispered. "Take your time."

Time flows oddly in M-Space. Celeste took all fuckin' day. Turns out somebody can't actually die in M-Space. So eventually I just dropped the strips she'd left him in into my Maw.

Fucker tasted like shit.

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