Dear Diary,

I wonder sometimes if everything's gonna work out all right. That's the big worry, the one we all share, though. The future. Will my kids grow up without any major life ruining flaws. Will they find happiness, and if not will it be because of me, because of them, because of the world, or because they're so busy enjoying the pursuit that they never settle down to enjoy the results. Will my ladies still love me when we're old and gray, when they, as Saffron put it, cast off their Mortal shells because they no longer need them, or will they decide that they'd rather take another spin around and find someone new, or just end everything with one last dive into my Maw. Will the world remember us as the ones who made it a better place for everybody, as the ones who ushered in an unending, unstoppable living hell everyone is forced to endure, or as we are, a bunch of women just tryna make the world a little better than how we found it.

I guess if for whatever reason I wind up not being in a place where I can let people know what's what, that last one wouldn't be too bad. Seriously, if I wind up with a gravestone, and the people who love me write 'she did her best' on it, and the inevitable graffiti says 'yeah, she did', I'd be okay with that. Seriously, I never set out to be the biggest badass on the planet, and I sure as shit didn't do anything to earn or deserve the kind of power I have. So if at the end of everything the general consensus is 'she did her best with what she was given', that would be enough for me.

Before anybody cuts in with any 'oh, but Isnomi, and Maze, and Ria, and David', yeah, I've done shit for my kids. That's not over and above. That's just what you do as a parent. Yeah, my mom kinda neglected me, because she was poor as shit and dying and instead of being able to give me everything I needed, she got to choose one thing and she chose 'not homeless or starving until I'm an adult'. I'm pretty fuckin' sure if she were here now to help, I'd fuck up a lot less than I do.

Still amazed that my ladies do that for me and don't wind up doing a runner. Like, seriously, why the fuck are they sticking around with somebody who is objectively less capable of getting through a day without screwing up than our bevy of toddlers and schoolchildren. Although I guess even though Isnomi, David, and Daya are all young enough they could still be considered toddlers, they've started school now, so they're school children. 'Kids', in that 'no longer toddlers or babies in any meaningful way' sense.

Speaking of my fabulous family, I wound up partying with them for practically a full twenty four hours yesterday. First the dinner party. Then the kids tuckered out and Adrienne helped tuck them all in, but wound up getting glomped by many sets of arms, eventually succumbing to the cuddle pile drowsiness and falling asleep. Jack did not seem copacetic with the idea of sleeping in the same bed with my daughters or my Concubine, so I showed him the 'guess' rooms, and he picked what I thought might be the closest one to our bedroom. Right next to the Baths, which sat all lonely and mostly unused yesterday. The kids got showers before bed, but no soak time, because they weren't in the mood to sleep in the water, and they were too tired to do anything else.

Once I showed Jack to his room, I joined Tallulah and Saffron. Brought them back to the bedroom just in time for the girls to start waking up. I myself did not actually get any sleep, because I didn't want to sleep alone down in Jackville, and somehow I thought he might take it amiss if I didn't keep at least one of me down there.

Then the girls spent all day showing Adrienne the Homestead. They gave her the full East House tour, then got into a big discussion of which to show her next. When I say 'big discussion', I mean it took until dinner for them to decide, at which point it was really too late to do anything else. Along with my normal duties at the Academy, I stopped in to tell the Grand Council Saffron would be home celebrating Ria's birthday. Hopped Cailyn down to Rich Man's Port to fill in for her mom, who was also not terribly active yesterday.

By the time dinner rolled around, I'd completely forgotten that I'd stashed Jack in one of the guess rooms. Like, okay, I didn't 'stash' him there, but I hadn't seen him all day. I wandered up to find him sacked out and snoring. Fuck it, I wasn't about to wake him if he wanted to spend his whole vacation napping. I'd done that myself once or twice.

Down at dinner, I'd moved Tallulah and Adrienne to one side so Saffron and I could get our spots back, and could properly pamper our pregnant partners. When I pulled Marie into my lap, Adrienne finally got a good look at her. "You're actually a Maenad."

"I Am." Marie smirked at her as I fed my Tiger wifey some scrambled eggs.

Adrienne shook her head, took a bite of eggy grilled cheese, lost a minute to surprise savoring, then said, "you're pregnant."

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

Marie looked down at her bulging babies belly, then looked up at Adrienne with a perfect fake shocked look. "I Am!"

At that point Ria, who'd been more focused on Adrienne's dinner than her conversation, chimed in with, "you should try it dipped in the bisque!"

Adrienne lost another minute to that, then looked back at Marie. "How?"

Marie curled her arms around me, snuggled herself into me, and purred out, "My Vlickies."

Adrienne looked at me, blanched, tried to hide it with another bite of bisque and sandwich, which distracted her enough to mutter out, "a Mor Primordial would do the job, I guess."

At that point Marie surprised all of us by humming out something that sounded vaguely like disagreement. Then, after pondering a minute, said, "Ceremonially Reborn." When not only Adrienne, but also Saffron and I gawped at her a little, she laid her hand on her belly and said, "For This."

Softly enough nobody but Marie could hear, I murmured, "I... you didn't have to do that."

She just nuzzled me and purred out, "Wanted To."

After dinner, I watched as Adrienne wound up escorted up to the Bath by her sister and her sisters. Shit, if Tallulah wound up joining us, I'd wind up with three more daughters. That would be eighteen of them once our pregnant partners popped. My brain definitely went into screen saver mode for a while about that. Luckily, soaking in the bath didn't really require anything like thought. I did notice Siobhan seemed less awful than she had been for the past couple weeks, so I tugged her over. "Feeling better, Darling?"

She smiled softly. "Not particularly, but I think... I think I've learned to cope with the discomfort. The three of you staying with me, comforting me, that helps too."

I frowned at her. "I wish I could make you feel better."

She snuggled into me. "You do, Tabitha. Not only are you the one who stays with me the most, you... inspired me, really."

"Huh?"

She traced one finger across my scars. "I told myself if you could somehow function despite these hurting all the time, I could at least find some balance where I wouldn't be so debilitated. Perhaps even return to my duties."

I shook my head, stroked her hair. "Nah. You don't need to do that. Your apprentices can handle the work. Fuck, they probably are getting way more practice now than they did while you were there."

"But I..."

"Look, if you get to the point where you actually feel bored, like you want to go back, that's one thing. But forcing yourself to go back despite feeling like all you're up to doing is 'lying still, trying to eat, and maybe not vomiting', that doesn't need to happen. You get the difference?"

She shook her head. "I... I will try." I frowned and she smiled at me. "I will try to see the difference, and per my Mistress' clearly expressed desire, will not attempt to return to my duties unless I am both feeling well enough to complete them and bored enough to want to return to them."

I hugged her. "Good."

At which point she whispered in my ear, "do you think perhaps tonight you could keep me from getting bored?"

I looked over to where all seven of our girls crowded around Adrienne, who had succumbed fully to her 'newest toy' status, then looked back to Siobhan. "That could be arranged," I drawled out.

Mixed results. Successful Siobhan satisfaction achieved, but not without her needing an emergency porcelain throne visit to retch for a while after. I really hoped that didn't kill her enjoyment of intimate activity, and I surprised myself by realizing that had less to do with me wanting to get physical with her and more with how absolutely joyously wanton she'd been about it previously.

Down in Jackville I'd gotten bored of sitting alone in the shack, so I opened up the front porch, set up the shitty tables, and lit up the hearth. Set up Jack's big old cauldron with some bear meat and chopped up veggies over a low fire, then went wandering around the back yard looking for some local flavor. I probably should not have done that at night, but it turns out I am in fact nom proof, at least when it comes to being nommed by a Swamp Dragon not much bigger than me. Kinda felt bad about lashing out at it when it bit me, but not bad enough to revive the bitey little bastard. So I put the meaty bits of it into the stew pot and called it my requisite local flavor.

I checked in with Lachlan in the morning; he was fine with teaching yesterday, and did the same today, so I could stay nominally focused on the ongoing birthday celebrations and watching Jackville. I'd like to do something unique and nice for him for doing that, but let's face it, if I give him his choice of rewards it'll probably be horizontal, and if I chose the rewards it definitely will be. I guess we're both pretty boring when it comes to shit like that.

I can't believe I just said that with my own slut mouth. Okay, thought it with my own slut brain. You know what I mean.

Today the girls showed Adrienne South House in the morning, then got in a low key argument over whether showing her North House was worth the time, but Menace eventually decided by fiat that since it was still, by her estimation, Ria's birthday party, Ria got to decide, and Ria definitely felt some kinda way about showing Adrienne absolutely everything, so the afternoon was spent with Adrienne seeing all of North House. Then they all climbed West Tower to watch the sunset.

Saffron, Tallulah, and I watched from the roof of East House. I pulled Tallulah into a side hug and asked, "you sure you don't want to be up there with them?"

She looked up, then back to me, and shook her head. "I... I want to reconnect with my daughter. I truly do. But trying to force myself into the reunion of my daughters might... might spoil that reunion. I would rather die with Adrienne hating me than spoil that for them."

Just when I think I've got her figured out, she goes and says something like that.

If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know < report chapter > so we can fix it as soon as possible.