Dear Diary,

"Do your best making choices, Don't count on second chances, And clean up all your messes." - Tabitha Diaz, Doctrine of Tabitha, Book of Redemption

In this Verse of the Book of Redemption, Tabitha gives us three clear directives. The first reiterates a core message of the Book of Agency, to make the best choices we can, by being mindful and considerate of how our choices affect others. To expand on this with a concept from the Book of Egalitarianism, when being mindful of others, be sure to take their circumstances into account. A wealthy friend might need comfort after a tragedy, a poverty stricken stranger might well need food and shelter far more. The second commandment in this Verse is privative in nature; directing us to act as if we will not get second chances. While Tabitha will always want to give them to us, there may be times when, due to the consequences of our actions or the actions of others, that such a chance is impossible. Should the Soul of a loved one choose to pass beyond the Afterlife, no force in the Heavens or in the Mortal Realm can give us another chance to speak with them, to tell them how much we care for them, to get closure. The third thing this Verse tells us is to accept the consequences of our actions, and when they are negative, to make those negative consequences right. If our actions hurt, then heal. If our actions break, repair. If they destroy, create. If our use of Agency makes the world a worse place, Tabitha tells us to, at the very least, correct it to the state we found it. - Priestess Most High Above All Others, Archmage Imperator Saffron Aetos-Diaz, Commentary on the Doctrine of Tabitha

Well. Shit.

I mean, yeah, she nailed it. Turned what was a pretty boring repetition of 'do your best, don't be an idiot, don't be a douche' into something approaching actual life advice once more. I especially like how she tied it into the earlier books, because I really remember hoping that folks would make those connections. Agency's great, but if everybody's running around doing whatever they want without thought to consequence, especially to consequences to other people, that's not even anarchy, that's just painful chaos. Keeping the folks who act like that in check has to be a thing that happens, but if you don't judge them fairly, that just piles more layers on fuckin' shit pyramid. So it's all tied together, and Redemption is part of it.

Honestly, Redemption's the part that maybe keeps people like Lenny in the tent pissing out, and I'm surprisingly okay with that. Yeah, he lorded over the feudal nightmare that was Lancaster before Larry started fixing shit, but... I can't say 'he saw the error of his ways', because I'm not sure he did. But I think he's seen that Larry's ways are effective, and he's acknowledged that Saffron is in fact the Imperator and she prefers Larry's ways, and he's doing the work to make the Alliance a better place.

I was about to say something like, 'really, that's all you can expect', but... Larry. Larry had a full on come-to-Goddess moment, recanted all the old Lancaster bullshit, and to the best of my knowledge has been working his ass off to make shit right since then. Yeah, maybe Bonnie's from the upper crust of Camden Yards, sort of, but her family are literally tanners. Folks for whom wading knee deep in piss is just another day at work. When the two 'rich' families in a town are the owners of a tannery and a diner, you know that town isn't exactly 90210, y'know? So he married a Bag girl from a poor town and has basically elevated her to equal standing with him. Yeah, they break the work up so she's handling the 'house' and he's handling the 'grounds', but that's just splitting stuff up so neither of them get overwhelmed.

Gotta maybe check in with them. Pay a visit, say hi to Euryale and Stheno, let the girls visit with little Lukas. Maybe even spend a night or two.

But for now, I gotta talk with Saffron.

I brought her home yesterday, made sure everybody had enough to eat, then tried to get up the nerve to talk to her. Failed, and took everybody up to the Bath, where I chickened out once more, leaving her floating with Tallulah, Marie, and Siobhan while I played kaiju mommy with the kids. So fun letting them be all heroic and team up to tackle me, especially when I can maybe yoink Menace and the bigger girls back with tentacles, hamstringing them and letting Daya and David get the final shots in before I do my epic collapse back into the depths of the Bath.

Took everybody up to bed, snuggled in around her, and fell asleep.

Normal day today. No school for the kids, so we went down to the stables, took the Nightmares for a quick walk around to give them some exercise, then fed Baby. Turns out Mister Slither has been hanging out with Baby, and I dunno how, but he's managed to talk some sense into the little one or something. My girls' pet Dragon still flinches away when they try to pet the pet, but the little scaly beast came up and took steaks from their hands. Like, with each of them the lizard reached out more or less gently, got a hold on the meat, then yanked it free and ran away to a corner of the enclosure to gulp it down. A couple bigger pieces got torn up before gulping. No real 'chewing', because Baby's mouth is not configured for that, but that's not Baby's fault.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

Saffron's got the Grand Council working on sorting out all those little mini forts along the coast. It looks like we're gonna have at least one, maybe three Heroes in each one, depending on how many Heroes we've got available. Seriously, each of the Cities except maybe Rich Man's Port and New Amsterdam are gonna have five hundred. That's three thousand Heroes, plus the hundred or so naval officers based in Rich Man's Port, and maybe, maybe, five hundred more Heroes for New Amsterdam, because New Amsterdam is as big as the rest of the Alliance put together. But even if they don't, that's still three thousand Heroes, plus however many Naval Officers aren't actually captaining ships. I mean, I think that's what they're gonna be doing. Not sure. Ought to ask Saffron about that, but...

Siobhan is still miserable, still spending most of her day lying in bed trying not to get too worked up, because when she does she starts retching. So I feed her little bits at a time through the day, making sure she gets enough nutrition while never having too much in her stomach if she has to barf everything up. I sing to her, I read to her, I let her lay there with her head in my lap. Through it all, even when she's puking, she's so sweet to me about everything, like I'm the one who needs taking care of.

The dozen or so of me at the Academy wound up mostly working on automatic, because Marie got distracted. I'm not sure by what, and when I asked she just shook her head. I don't want to get her too anxious, but her kittens have to be coming some time soon. So I've got zero problems keeping shit running while she reigns more than rules the basement and support staff of the Academy with an iron spatula.

Carried Saffron's lunch up to her, maybe putting some extra sway into my walk as I carried it up to her. When I laid the tray on the desk, whipped the cover off, and Co-Located to lift her up to horizontal, she gripped at the seat of the chair. "Out with it, Goof."

I kneaded with eight sets of fingers, not to mention massaging her with tentacles. "What do you mean?"

She turned her head enough to look at me. "You've been holding something back since yesterday."

I sighed, nodded. "Yeah. I, uh, hit the second verse of Redemption. The Commentary on it." She just tilted her head, silent, waiting for me to admit to my failure. "I'm sorry." She just waited. "I'm sorry about what I did to your Grandma."

She shook her head. "Why?"

That left me a little at a loss. "Because you didn't get to say good bye? You didn't get closure?"

She shook her head again. "That was her choice, love. Siobhan was right. Had you not done as she asked? Had you forced her to remain as she was, when her very Soul craved oblivion? That would have been wrong." I just stared until she dropped her gaze, her head flopping limp, and said, "even if it would have hurt less."

"I... I'm sorry."

"Again, for what? You..." She took a deep breath. "That moment, more than any other, reminded me that you are not my Goddess." I slumped, collapsing into myself, my tentacles falling to the floor. She half stood, then dropped onto my lap, legs straddling me. "No, love. Despite being my Wife, my love, my lover, my... my reason for being a better person? You do not belong to me."

I snorted, banished my shirt, and nodded at my shoulder. "Looks like you do."

"Must I remove..."

I slapped a tentacle across her mouth. "Don't. You. Dare."

She smiled. Then she licked my tentacle. I hadn't realized exactly how sensitive they could be. When I slipped it away, she said, "you are my wife, yes. I am yours. We are Marie's, and she is ours. But... as a Goddess? That part of you? That facet?" She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, looked me in the eye, and said, "it is because you have shown me, time and time again, that I do not own that part of you, that you are bigger, better than that, that I deem you worthy of my unquestioning devotion, obedience, and Worship."

I snorted. "Yeah, I think we both know I need you questioning me on the regular."

She smirked. "Your taste? Your plans? Your dubious sense of humor? Certainly. But your Divinity?" She bowed her head, staring at the space between us. "Never."

"You just like my cleavage."

She grinned. "I do. But that doesn't change the rest in the slightest." Her smile got a little impish. I raised an eyebrow, and she wordlessly asked for permission. I sat up straighter, pulled her to me, and she waggled her face in my cleavage, laughing the whole time. When she came up for air, she said, "Grandma and Siobhan were so right about that." Her hands reached around to get some ass fondling in. "I do so wonder if they were right about this, too."

"Sixth."

"Oh. I remember. That rule has been clear since the day you made it. Despite how I've raged whenever life conspired to violate you."

"Really?"

She nodded. "Raged with Envy. Possibly even twinges of Jealousy, although I tried not to. But... How can I not when it has stolen a prize I am not allowed to claim?"

I sighed. "I..."

She slipped her fingers over my lips. Pumpkin spice reeking fingers. "Don't. You have made your rules clear."

"Rules? I mean, I'd have said boundaries, but... okay. Yeah." I thought for a second, realized she'd totally knocked my concerns about her Grandma out of my head. Intentionally, which meant she wasn't harboring some deep resentment. "Thank you, Kitten."

"For what?"

"For loving me?"

She leaned back, laughing. Not boisterously, but from her heart. "Oh, love. You need not thank me, but I tell you without need for hesitation that you are welcome to any and all parts of me, from love to lips, at any time."

"Any part?" She nodded, grin getting deeper. "What about all parts?" She mlemmed. Nodded. I tried to Co-Locate, but she stopped me. "Huh?"

"I have a preference, at least at the moment?"

"Go on."

Sounding almost shy all of a sudden, she said, "tentacles?"

I smiled, lifted her up just enough to scoot the chair around a little, then Co-Located two of me to the middle of the room, one of me as me on my knees, begging. The other stood over me, Mimicking Saffron. On my knees me whined out, "can't we just have normal sex tonight?"

Saffron me, doing my best 'Imperator commanding' look, declared, "no. Turn into a Kraken."

Saffron on my lap laughed, barely able to say, "I do not sound like..." before I collapsed into myself and removed her ability to speak in the most pleasant way possible.

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