Dear Diary,
"To explain to you I've tried, When Agency is denied, Homicide is Justified." - Tabitha Diaz, Doctrine of Tabitha, Book of Justified Homicide
Here in the final Verse of the Book of Justified Homicide, our Goddess reminds us of two very important facts. First, that the preeminent Justification for Homicide is when a being has chosen to bring harm to the Agency of another. No other cause is sufficient in and of itself to Justify Homicide in Tabitha's eyes. Second, that while she is a Goddess of many serious Values and Domains, Tabitha is also a Trickster Goddess, and as such will never be opposed to or far from whimsey and joy. None who seek to earn her blessing ought forget that. - Priestess Most High Above All Others, Archmage Imperator Saffron Aetos-Diaz, Commentary on the Doctrine of Tabitha
Oh, fuck, this one is almost as cringe as the one Menace wrote that I forgot to edit out.
No, shit, this one is worse. The other one has her name on it, sort of. Saffron mentioned her and everything in the Commentary. So at worst I look like the kind of dumbass slacker idiot Mom who lets her kid do her very much adult perspective required work and then instead of going back and fixing it afterward makes everybody else pretend like the juvenile bullshit in front of them is some kind of inspired work of art rather than juvenile bullshit.
This one, on the other hand, has me bending grammar over the table with tears in its eyes and duct tape over its mouth while I rail it from behind with a shit eating grin on my face and one hand in the air doing the royal processional wave, entirely so I could include the kind of rhymes that would make a third grader embarrassed to admit they'd written them. Seriously, Grogu would be ashamed to take responsibility for something this horrifically cringe and childish.
But once more my Kitten comes to my rescue, turning twenty-one syllables of doggerel into something vaguely comprehensible as Holy Writ. I'd say something trite like 'I don't know what I'd do without her', but the truth is I'd probably fuck everything up and then erase reality to avoid the embarrassing follow up questions. Yes, I am aware of how hypocritical that would be. No, I'm not sure that would stop me. I'd thank God I found her, but…
We both know I deserve no credit for that, but I'll take your gratitude anyhow if it's being offered..
You would, too. Thanks for the chuckle, Dad. You're the best.
I know.
So yesterday after Saffron pointed out here and now's version of Boston as the source of the mysterious voice I'd been hearing in my dreams, I stepped us back to the Mortal Realm and we had a quiet talk about it.
"So, did Karen take one of the Tentacles up to Boltophsberg yet, or are we still waiting on that?"
Saffron shook her head. "She's been and since returned, love. Should you need to visit urgently, it will only take her a few moments to return."
"So… Should I?"
Saffron shook her head, but asked, "how much do you remember about Boltophsberg?"
I racked my brain tryna remember, but eventually just gave up and said, "it's on the coast, and they worship a different Pantheon? Sorry, Kitten, I think I might've missed that day in class."
She cocked her head, looked thoughtful. "No. Actually I believe that was one of the days you were suffering due to your nightmares."
That froze me in place for a minute. Gradually I came back to myself, leaning with the back of my head against Saffron's chest, her fingers idly combing my hair while Marie lay atop me, arms crossed across my thighs, looking up at me, grinning and purring. "Wow. Yeah. That's a bit of a blast from the past. I'd say 'I wonder what was up with those', but not even I'm that stupid."
Saffron chuckled and said, "you're not stupid at all, love. Impetuous, given to forgetting anything that's not in front of you right at the moment..."
"Nah. You're behind me and I still remember you, Kitten."
She leaned forward, capturing me in a cave of her and Marie. "Yes, I am, love. Behind you every step of the way."
I pushed myself up to kiss her. "That's my line." Then I leaned forward and exchanged kisses with Marie. "Thanks for covering for me, you two. So, you ready to give me the deets on St. Boltophsberg so I'm ready to go up there and kick some ass as needed?"
She sucked her teeth a moment, then said, "I think not." My disbelief must have shown on my face, because she laughed and said, "I'll be doing a bit of research; not only are the machinations of the... Pantheon of St. Boltophsberg tied into the current political affairs of the City, they've some subtleties I never really bothered to commit to memory."
"What? My Kitten not memorizing everything all at once forever?"
She laughed again. "Oh, love. Your faith in me is frightening sometimes, but still fills me with joy. No, love, I didn't bother, because the... Pantheon is not as static as some others."
"You say that like they're not really a Pantheon. Or is this a seasonal thing like Jack?"
She shrugged, shook her head. "Not quite like that. More that the status of some of the Pantheon is dynamic, and they aren't a proper Pantheon. The closest would be the New Mor Pantheon we have here in the Alliance."
That hit me out of left field. On one hand, I'd kind of known that, but on the other, it was still a bit of a surprise to hear her say it. "Okay. So... When should I expect my pre-asskicking briefing?"
She smiled at me. "I hope 'ass kicking' won't be needed, more due to how such activity empowers your own black moods as due to any sense of mercy on my part. But... shall we say next week? Thorsday?"
"Thursday? It's gonna take you that long to get the information together?"
She shrugged. "Some part of that is me getting updated information from our intelligence assets. Some of it is determining the current volatility of their Pantheon. Some of it will be you preparing to be absent for a bit." When I gave her a head tilted look of confusion at that, she laughed and said, "pumping, so our kittens lack for nothing while you're away."
Yeah, that got me again. Not just the idea that I'd be the one pumping to save up milk for me going to work, but also... Our kittens. Then again, I had just as much intent to welcome the rugrat in Siobhan's belly as mine. Ours.
We lay there like that until the Council came back from lunch, at which point Saffron went back to work and I pulled a stubbornly naked Marie back into my lap. Seriously, I tried to put The Dress back on her, but she kept slipping out of it. Fuck it, she's fully fuzzy and I liked the view.
Of course, she traded in all the headpat credits she'd earned for being fuzzy and naked in my lap on Treachery Rock when she sent me on a bunch of last minute errands at the Academy. Dumb shit, but stuff that nonetheless needed to be done. Part of me was annoyed, but another part felt kinda special that she'd picked me, trusted me with getting all that shit done.
She actually gave me a little bit of help concentrating by scooping up Siobhan and having her hold Erato, not to mention taking my place seeking for the girls, who'd all gone above and beyond the call of duty in our latest round of hide and seek.
I did not even twig to anything when Tallulah ended court early for the night, and stepped herself, Marie, and me back to Treachery Rock, whereupon Saffron hopped to the top of the rock and collapsed us all back to the Academy suite office. Not my normal thing, but then I normally just grabbed everybody and collapsed back to the Homestead dining room. I even missed the clue when Siobhan handed Erato to me and whispered, "just for a moment, Mistress," before leaving our little curtained alcove, I guessed to head to the bathroom for a bit.
I guessed wrong. Saffron stepped us all back to the Homestead entryway, Marie pulled the doors open, and every Soul living at the Homestead shouted, "Happy Birthday!" at a volume that should have hurt my ears, but instead just plastered a goofy grin on my face. The women had moved extra tables from the other Houses into our dining room, and at least four of them were piled high with food. Pizza. Sushi. Tempura. Steak. Spicy eggs in volumes I hadn't eaten since my Cadet days. Well, my days living at the Academy full time, which wasn't all that long ago, even though it sometimes felt like ages ago.
Best, or maybe worst of all, the cake. An absolute monster of a cake big enough to feed everybody in the Homestead enough sugar to guarantee a visit from Wilfred Brimley the Diabeetus Fairy. Big half inch thick candles ringed the third tier. I counted, and they had enough, even if they were big enough to be, like, actual lighting devices. They were also melting the fourth tier just a little. I'd say I scandalized everybody by heading for the cake first, but everybody looked kind of like they expected it.
I looked around, but couldn't find a knife of any kind. Lots of plates, no knife. I looked at Saffron, and she held up one finger. "Really?" She nodded, I laughed, slid the thinnest possible Mana Blade out of my fingertip, then extended it long enough to cut the whole cake at once, thanked Marie when she kept Isnomi from pouncing on the other end of the thing, and cut the cake in half. "Okay, that's my slice."
I got a laugh out of everybody with that, then went about slicing the rest. Definitely some really big chunks on the lower layers, but I wasn't gonna bitch about getting one of those. Which, sadly, I didn't. Instead Marie slipped the whole top tier onto a plate, picked me up, and set it in front of me at my place at the head table. She kept the food coming, and I lost myself for a while to eating and drinking while everybody else got their eat on in between swinging past to tell me Happy Birthday.
Funniest thing, at least to me, had to be how the Lancasters had returned for my birthday. I guess they'd be going home tomorrow rather than staying half a week like last time, but still, they'd been gone for less time than they visited last time. Not that I gave a fuck, they're welcome in our house any time.
After eating enough that I'd have been rolled out in a wheelbarrow or in a gurney if I wasn't significantly bigger on the inside, we all headed up to the Bath. Most of the Homestead women had gone back home by that point, but Devorah followed us up. When I slipped into the Bath, she came over and sat down next to where I had my head lying on the edge of the Bath itself. I looked up at her, and with a twinkle in her eye she pulled a sealed mason jar full of something golden from behind her back.
I grinned up at her. "After? Already? On my birthday?"
She smiled, mischief filling her eyes, and said, "oh, no, Champion. Although I'd be wiling to call it ready if you wanted to. But no. This is simply... another incomplete taste. As a present, in lieu of after?"
I scooted up a bit, enough I could drink without making a mess. The mason jar was one of those old time ones with the wire metal contraption on the top to hold it shut. It took me a minute, not because I couldn't force it, but because I was worried about bending the wires or worse, breaking the glass. When it finally popped open, the smell hit me immediately. Warm honey. Alcohol. I had to lift it up as I got swarmed by girls way too young to even sniff at shit this strong. "Not tonight, girls. Not right now. If you're very well behaved for Bonnie, then," I looked at Saffron, who shrugged and nodded," you can have a very small sip before bedtime."
That bought me enough space to lower the jar and inhale. The smell hit me like a freight train. Honey, alcohol, maybe some subtle undercurrents of spice and mint. I looked up at Devorah, then over at Saffron. "If she disappears suddenly, it's not my fault."
That got a laugh out of my ladies and Devorah. Siobhan whispered, "it will absolutely be your fault, and we're all sort of hoping she will."
I took another long sniff. "This isn't done yet?"
"It is not, Champion."
I shook my head. "If this tastes half as good as it smells, and the final product is even better? You might not be seen for a while after after."
"Oh. No." She managed a flat deadpan despite the smile in her eyes. "Whatever shall I do?"
"Here goes." I took... not a long pull, but a long sip, then carefully set the jar on the side of the Bath near Saffron, because even just holding the proto-mead in my mouth was enough to make my eyes cross. This shit was both a flavor explosion in my mouth, my nose, my fuckin' brain lighting up with herbs, spices, alcohol, and sticky, sweet, smoky honey, and was also high enough proof I was a little surprised my brain didn't dribble out of my nose immediately. After letting the flavor suffuse my mouth, I swallowed, focusing my full attention on the burn as it drifted down into my belly. I reached out, nodded to Saffron, picked up the jar and took a big, solid pull, holding it in my mouth. I carefully set the jar aside, stood, turned, and reached out to hold Devorah's cheeks steady while I leaned in. Our lips met, my sticky tongue teasing hers apart until I filled her mouth with as much liquid joy as my own.
I pulled back after... I'm not sure how long. When Devorah's eyes uncrossed, she looked around the Bedroom a little muzzily, then drawled out, "so, it's after after all?"
I shook my head, grinning. She managed to raise one eyebrow and look down at my hand, which was full of Devorah at the moment. Okay, both of them were, but the one clutching her ass cheek wasn't one she could look at easily. She's very fluffy and clutchable. "Really?"
I looked her right in the eye. "You want that?" She gave me the world's tiniest, most hesitant nod. "After just that kiss?" She looked at my hand again. "Okay, that kiss and that little bit of groping?"
"Yes? Yes. Oh, Yesss..." she let that last sibilant stretch out as she smiled at me. In the mirrors I saw my ladies all slipping into the room. Saffron arrived last, shaking her head, holding the much diminished contents of the mason jar. She blinked a little. "So many..."
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
I leaned in and breathed into her ear. "I promise you that unless you beg me otherwise, you will walk away in the morning."
She whimpered out, "so soon?"
I chuckled. "I didn't say which morning."
That got her. She pulled away, laughing, then tried to pull me into another kiss. She looked a little pouty when I didn't let her. "But... after?"
I smiled at her. "Your mead isn't done yet. I swear to you, Devorah, as much better as your mead is than this sample? When after comes, it will be at least as much better as this taste." I punctuated my statement by taking the jar from Saffron, then tipping it back and drinking until I'd swallowed the dregs. Not that there was much in the way of dregs. Especially after I did the eminently sensible thing and licked the inside of the jar clean. Had to Shapeshift a little. I think. Never thought to measure my tongue before.
When I finished and looked around the room, Devorah was staring at my mouth. When she looked back at my eyes, she let out a tiny squeak of a giggle. "I might be slightly too dead to enjoy your partners by the time you're done with me." I snorted, but before I could complain, she snuggled up to me, lay the side of her head against my suddenly warm chest, and said, "I hope so anyhow." Then she giggled. "Not that I hope to be dead, or remain so. But... oh, what a way to go."
That got a round of agreement from my ladies, which left me a little pouty. I shifted, lifted Devorah into a princess carry, and stepped her back to her room. I lay her gently on her bed, reached over and plucked the fascina from her bedside table, slipped it into her hands, looked her in the eye, and whispered, "I'll be watching you later."
Then collapsed back into the Bed, room spinning around me as I did. "Ugh... Why?"
I felt my ladies settling in around me as Saffron asked, "why what, love?"
"Why do I seem to attract people who want to die?"
She huffed out the cutest little huff, then leaned in and kissed me. She didn't let me go when she pulled back, either, but pulled me forward and let Siobhan slip in behind me. I realized right then that at some point, one of them had finagled collapsing the nursing me back into... just one of me. When she finally pulled away, she smiled softly and said, "none of us want to die, love. Not in the slightest."
I pouted a little. "Madeline kinda did."
She paused, put a finger to her lip, and looked around the room. Each of my other ladies shrugged or shook their heads slightly, so Saffron shrugged and said, "I suppose that will wait for tomorrow then. But for now? Know that none of your High Priestesses want to die. All of us want as much life as we can wring from the Fates, that we might spend it together. With you."
"Each Other." added Marie, and Saffron nodded agreement.
"Just so." When I went to argue, she pulled me into her breasts, which shut me the fuck up immediately. What can I say, I'm easy. "None of us want to die, but none of us fear death, either. Not in the slightest."
When she let me up for air, I said, "I mean, I get Marie... is that it? Marie? Do my High Priestesses get a Maenad Contingency Plan?"
Saffron shook her head, but before she could deny that, Marie cut in with, "Maybe."
Saffron looked at her, surprise clear on her face. "Truly?"
Marie nodded. "Yunya." Then she turned to look over my shoulder at Siobhan, who still knelt behind me, holding me up, with her arms draped over my shoulders. "Amolydos." Then she turned to Tallulah and frowned in frustration.
"You need not include me, Maenad. I am new to this... family."
Marie just shook her head. "Uncertain Possibility."
I blinked a little at that, mostly because the mead had hit and my brain had trouble processing it. Tallulah blushed, then whispered, "I'm honored you would try." Marie nodded, smiling.
"All that aside, that isn't why we don't fear death, love."
I smiled up at her. "Kay. Why?"
She smiled, realizing I was at least a little drunk. "You see us in your dreams. You see the shadows of our Souls that slip into your Maw, time after time, night after night."
"Yeah. Uh. Still kinda worried about that."
She leaned in. "I've told you before, love. It does us no harm. It does us no harm, and nourishes you like nothing else could."
"But... hurts?" Yeah, my brain was a little bit honey pickled. Fuck off.
She smiled. "It's time, ladies." Marie and Tallulah each leaned into me from the sides, interlacing their fingers with mine. Siobhan's fingers interwove beneath my breasts, and Saffron leaned in, honey on her breath as she breathed, "let me in. Share yourself with me, and let me share with you."
I had about as much resistance to whatever freaky shit she wanted to pull as I had to the food earlier, so I let go and slipped into her mind, felt myself slip under her control. I closed my eyes, and almost in a dream state saw my Maw stretched out beneath me, the chibi chefs all dolled up in glowing costumes, pirouetting in fancy colored patterns that twisted out into my Maw as they dissolved. The rest of my ladies, all but two shadowy and insubstantial, flowed in amongst them, dancing and leaping and laughing out loud with joy, screaming with excitement when my tentacles lifted them and tossed them place to place, gleeful when the greediest ones plunged them deep in the center of my Maw.
Before I could really work up any kind of curiosity about why two of my ladies were asleep, when Saffron so clearly wasn't, as I could still feel her tongue dancing against my own, my viewpoint spun about, twisted, then plunged. My Maw rushed closer, closer, and closer still, until I plunged deep, deep beneath the surface. It wasn't like water. Instead of pressure increasing as I dove deeper, it diminished until I floated, suspended, the Maw stuff finally coming in proper contact with...
My eyes shot open as I realized, as Saffron's lips curved against mine the moment she knew I'd twigged to the fact that she was Co-Located, one of her here in my arms, kissing me, controlling me, keeping me from reacting, pouring a Stabilize into the inside of her throat with a tongue still long and sticky from licking a mason jar clean.
Then she started to dissolve, and I lost the ability to do anything but clutch to her, shaking and moaning as she did the same. Every instant, every tiny bit of her flaking away, was an assault on every one of my senses. The ongoing vibration of her moaning into my mouth, the slippery shudder of her body against mine. The taste of her in my Maw, utterly overwhelming every other sensation I'd ever experienced, a flavor not quite like anything else I'd ever tasted. Chocolate mole, but with the darkest, bitterest chocolate, the only sweetness from the caramelized poblanos, with hints of honey and anise underlying that.
As that unmistakable, irresistible, unending flavor suffused me, claimed me, filled every corner of my being with pure unadulterated gustatory pleasure, Saffron dissolving in my Maw rushed through her. Each and every bit of her that dissolved away, from the outermost layers of skin to the very last bits of her brain filled her with orgasmic bliss. Pure, unadulterated physical pleasure poured from her to her to me. We shuddered there, propped up by Tallulah and Marie and Siobhan, shuddering slowly to stillness.
Siobhan, surprisingly petulant, whispered, "I've always wanted to try that."
A few moments, seconds, minutes, hours later, Saffron chuckled her way away from me, my tongue slipping out of her mouth to loll against my chin. I still couldn't uncross my eyes. "I'm sure she'll indulge you after the little one arrives, Darling."
"Twice."
Saffron snorted. "I'd tell you not to be greedy, but we both know I'll hold her down for you. Once to wash the taste of your unfortunate hyperemesis gravidarum out of your mouth, and a second time for you to experience it to the fullest. How does that sound."
"I'd say heavenly, but I'm already here," Siobhan giggled.
"Well then." Saffron turned her attention back to me. "So. Love. Beloved Goddess and Champion and Wife and Lover and Goof. Do you have the slightest compunction with allowing us to continue as we have done, time after time, night after night, in your holiest of holies?"
I snorted. Grinned goofily, because I had no ability to do anything else at the moment. Then, because as noted my inner moppet is twelve year old Tomoko, I muttered, "holes."
Saffron smiled her wickedest smile at me, glanced left and right, then said, "I think our birthday girl has made her wishes for the night clear, ladies."
Yeah, I didn't get any sleep. They took turns. Half of the time I wound up dazed enough to see the foggy image of the fanciful choreography going on in and around my Maw anyway. Still a little weirded out by why there were two... two Karens, maybe? I couldn't tell. Tipsy. Post-and-mid-coital Happy Brain Chemicals flooding my everything. Almost no holes unfilled. Just one, really, and as Marie tickled me there Saffron grabbed her wrist and said, "she's not got any piercings yet, lovely Maenad."
Yeah, I couldn't make heads or tails out of that either, but fuck it. All night birthday romp for the win. I think the best part was not just the complete lack of hangover, but the pure raw Worship that the four of them poured into me all fuckin' night, until by morning I wasn't just 'not tired', I was energized. Glowing. Literally.
Sweaty, limp, sloppily bodacious Saffron looked up at me. "So, tell me, my love. Would you rather have all of us like this, or prim and proper for your birthday celebrations?"
I snorted. "Wouldn't it be, I dunno... Wouldn't some people feel some kinda way if they saw the Imperator, uh... this messy?"
She laughed. "Fuck 'em." Then she and all three others giggled. "Literally, if you'd like. It's your birthday, after all."
"I..." I stuttered to a stop, suddenly feeling a little bit embarrassed by the greedy impulse that seized me.
Of course all three of them pounced on that. Even Siobhan, who I'd been very careful with, who'd been less than careful with herself. "Oh, no, Mistress. You simply must tell us." The least bedraggled of all of them, her platinum hair still dangled, tangled and lank, around her shoulders and across her breasts. "Please?"
I pulled them all to me, reveling in the slippery slick warmth of them, the fabulously funky scent permeating the room, each of them adding to it in their own unique and Glorious way. When all of them were close enough to hear, I said, "I want you all perfect all day, and then I want to put you back like this again after dinner.
They all looked at one another, their smiles growing by the second. Tallulah said, "but she..."
Saffron shushed her with, "will just have to do a little extra work." When I raised an eyebrow, she shrugged and said, "it won't start with hours of endless exhausting bliss."
I licked my lips. "I kinda liked that part."
"Oh, as did I, but you did tell me to stop you should you do anything that might be harmful. That... that was not, but only because I prepared for it. So you've a decision to make."
I frowned. "I am not gonna hurt you."
She smiled. "Oh, I know love. No, your decision is whether I am to tell you when I can do that again safely, or..."
"Or?"
"Surprise you."
"Can I think about it?" I whimpered.
"Absolutely, love. Now, will you restore us as you did the morning of Calverton's liberation?"
Before I could agree, Siobhan barked out, "No!" When we all turned to face her, she pointed at Saffron. "Do us all like you did her that morning." When everyone head tilted, smiling, she pouted and whispered, "I am not going to be satisfied with a thumb to the forehead again."
I couldn't resist. I lifted her to her knees, loomed over her with a hand gripping her hair and a thumb pressed into her forehead. "You'll be satisfied however I want to satisfy you, Ice Pop." She whimpered, opened her mouth to argue, and I kissed her before she could. I kissed her long and hard and sloppy, pouring Mana into her the whole time. When I pulled away, she knelt there with a broad smile etched onto her face, her hair a waterfall of ice flowing around her shoulders and down her back.
"Who's next?"
Breakfast was more spicy eggs, this time with jalapeno scrapple and sausage atop waffles with Marie's sweet gravy syrup drenching it all. Not long before lunch, Saffron stood me up and doused me with the dry cleaning solution smell feel of Loki's insta clean trick before bopping my uniform onto me.
Not The Dress?
Not today, Daughter. Today is for you, and I would have your Worshippers focused on you for you, rather than for who you are to me.
It's not a problem, Dad. Part of who I am, here and now, is due to you.
I know.
I'm not sure how that ended the argument and settled my nerves, but it did. My ladies gathered around me, and Saffron stepped us...
...to a broad landing at the top of a wide flight of stairs, facing Drivers', the new Camden Yards City Hall.
...to the steps of my Temple in New Amsterdam.
...to a makeshift stage in front of a shrine made up of hundreds of discarded, wrecked weapons rusting into a single mass.
...to a dais in the middle of a broad meadow, one with a surprisingly recognizable outdoor altar-bed-throne in the center of it.
...to the steps in front of the Calverton Temple complex.
...to a balcony looking out over Rich Man's Port.
...to a surprisingly well made stage in front of the doors of Lancaster House
...to the steps of a modest Temple where George Papadopoulos and Antony Pesce stood, with Ora and a veiled acolyte standing behind Antony.
...to the mast of the Black Dragon, where the crew cheered my arrival.
...to the top of the Academy steps.
...to the roof of East House, where the women of our Homestead waited in the Courtyard.
Everywhere crowds waited, cheering as Saffron and I arrived. I scooped her up into a kiss. Where are the others?
Siobhan needs to rest, love.
I definitely trusted my Kitten to know best on that. Marie? Tallulah?
The others are waiting. For later. Preparing... part of a present for you.
Part of?
They can't finish until you're done here.
Well, let's get started then!
I turned to more cheering, and the smell hit me. Oregano. Garlic. Tomato. That indefinable savory dairy smell of mixed cheese. As I raised my hand and the crowd quieted, I saw huge tables with stacks and stacks of pizza interspersed in the crowd.
"Hey guys!" That got a bit of a rolling laugh. "People! Alliance! My people! My... my peeps. My people." My voice had gone quieter with that last, but Saffron amplified it well enough to let everyone hear, even as I blushed a little at how much those words meant to me, how much it exposed me to say them. Fuck it. They were my people. I straightened. "MY PEOPLE!" A wave of cheering and Worship rolled in. I raised my hand again, and the cheering cut off, but the Worship kept rolling in. I grinned. "You all know I'm not much of a speech maker. Also, Imperator Sexypaws, first of her name, has teased me with some kinda presents when we're done here. So I'm gonna keep this short." Everyone went still, breath held in anticipation. "I love you all! Let's eat!"
They cheered, and as they did, I stepped into the crowd. To the tables. Flashing back and forth faster and faster, delivering slices and smiles and hugs and kisses and maybe even a few gropes and gooses when folks I recognized from my Temple visits got handsy their own selves. Through it all, I shared a variety of slices with Saffron as we stood and soaked up the cheering. Eventually, when none of me could see a single person without a slice in hand or the greasy remains on their lips, I collapsed back to the mes on stage. Swallowing and pulling Saffron to me, I called, "okay, everybody! I meant every word, I love you guys, but I cannot resist the lure of my Wife's surprises. Love you!"
With that I collapsed us back to the pair atop the Homestead, and got a surprise when Saffron pulled us both to the Temple of Love, where she shoved me unceremoniously back onto my altar bed throne, then stepped back and Translocated away before she backed into Karen, who stood there grinning like an idiot.
"Hey, Karen. What's up?"
Her smile quirked up on one side. "A bit of a formality. Ceremony. You know, Temple stuff."
I sighed. "A Goddess' work is never done."
"Like the Revels?"
I shrugged and laughed. "Hey, I love my work. And my coworkers." She laughed, and I followed that with, "so, who am I doing today?"
She snorted. "Oh, it's still too early for that, Goddess." She nodded, and I looked at the crowd. Yeah, definitely needed to keep things family friendly; I saw some of the kids from Math class there. Then I blinked and realized that our girls were there too. "Uh..."
"I intended to do this as each of them completed their Trials, but your Wife convinced me otherwise. Well, and your Wife threatened me with grievous bodily... something if I didn't wait until she completed her Trials."
I blinked. "Wait, Saffron threatened..."
"The other one."
I shook my head. "Uh..."
I don't know if she took pity on me at that point or what, but she waved, and four figures in pristine, sparkling white dresses Translocated, then walked into my field of view, two from each side. Madeline. Tallulah. Marie. Saffron. Each of them in that dress, carrying a bouquet. I was sorely tempted right at that moment. Not sure exactly to what. But as I sat frozen, I Co-Located right to the middle of Conrad's Workshop.
"Son?"
He popped up from beneath me, freezing when I caught him, one hand on each shoulder. "Yes, Mother?"
I smiled at him. He shuddered, and I pulled him into a hug, kissing his cheeks, then squeezing him to me. "Thank you, Son. I love them."
"How could a dutiful son do less for his beloved mother?"
I gave him a single squeeze then collapsed back into myself. Karen nodded, then waved to the ladies in front of me and announced, "Goddess, I present to you the newest High Priestesses of Tabitha Diaz. Madeline Magda, High Priestess to Calverton. Tallulah Crow, High Priestess to Rich Man's Port. Marie Aetos-Diaz, High Priestess to New Amsterdam, and Saffron Aetos-Diaz, High Priestess to Camden Yards."
One by one they stepped up to me, knelt, then stood just enough for their lips to press against mine. Okay, Madeline's did a lot more than press, and if my hands stayed above her neck, they were not still. By sheer force of will my hands remained just as centered on caressing and holding the faces of my ladies. With each one, another wave of applause and Worship washed through the Temple. I realized as Tallulah stepped up that she still had the stripes of glowing Mana leaking from the corners of her lips where it had overflowed her mouth when I recharged her this morning. Marie still sparkled. Saffron...
Oh, God. Saffron. For once all I got from Dad was wordless approval. Saffron, not in the confection she'd sworn to wear for our renewal of vows, but in a wedding dress nonetheless. Not just any wedding dress, but that Yandere Shobitch Wedding Gown that screamed its lack of modesty for anyone with eyes to look.
"That stays on until the children are in bed," I growled into her lips.
"Yes, My Goddess."
"Not... not coming off clean and neat or in one piece after, either."
She grinned into my lips, pulled away just far enough for me to see the wicked twinkle in her eyes, and whispered, "none of us expected anything less, love."
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