Dear Diary,

Something I've only recently realized, something I've been thinking about a lot without ever really putting it in words, is how many hats I wear. Well, not just me. How many hats everyone around me seems to wear. No, Admiral Pesce aside, I'm not talking about actual physical hats, but how many different roles I and each of my partners plays on a regular basis.

For instance, I'm a Deity. Okay, I'm not just 'a' Deity, I'm sort of technically two. Tabitha Diaz, Patron Deity of the Alliance, Demigoddess of Justified Homicide, Vengeance, Bloodlust, Passion, Ecstasy, and Children, and also Mimic, Patron Deity of the Alliance, Primordial of Death, Disease, Music, and the Sun. Okay, I'm not sure I'm technically 'the' Primordial of the Sun, what with Elatha still noodling around somewhere, but I'm definitely a Sun Deity. The same goes for Music. I think I used to be a Deity of Archery and maybe Hunting, but I gave those up when I returned Diana to herself, not to mention when I gave her the bow made from her brother's remains. On top of all that there's still Mimic's core Domain, which I'm still not certain about, but I suspect is one of the reasons Saffron made me promise not to look at my own Status when her new Inspect goes live.

At any rate, that's still two really big hats, and if they've got some overlap in the whole 'Patron Deity of the Alliance' thing, not to mention my Worshippers seeming to just roll with me being both beings at once, they're still two different things, and not all of the roles I play. I'm also the Champion of the Alliance, not to mention Champion and High Priestess of Loki.

Priestess High Set Above All Others.

Yeah, honestly I don't think I deserve that one.

I know, Daughter. Which is why I'm ever so very glad that is my decision to make and not yours.

Thanks, Dad. You're the best.

I know.

I'm also a Hero-in-waiting, not to mention the Imperator's Attack Dog, which isn't an official position, I don't think, and overlaps with the Champion of the Alliance thing, but isn't quite the same, because I'm pretty sure that if the Grand Council decided to be Officially Neutral about something, and Saffron pointed at said thing and said, 'kill', said thing would die. Yeah, if the Grand Council decided we were at war with somebody, as Champion I'd bring the hurt, but that's a whole other thing.

I'm a mom. I'm a Mama and a Papa and I guess from a certain very biological perspective the Sire of an entire litter of bipedal talking tiger kittens. I kinda suspect they might wind up a little more Human Adjacent than the Maenads, but clearly nowhere near fully Human appearing. On top of all that varied parent positioning, and flipping back to the Deific thing, I'm a Matriarch. The Matriarch of a whole assed Pantheon. Okay, I'm not sure how much of a Pantheon it is. Diana, definitely. Conrad, possibly, especially with him calling me 'Mother' almost exclusively. I might want to ask him about that, just to be sure I'm not failing him on the momming front.

I think it makes me feel just the tiniest bit better about myself as a person, even as I feel like maybe a shitty Matriarch and Deity, that my primary urge in that direction isn't something about Deific Power or keeping the murderous sociopath in check, but is just simply wanting to make sure my son is getting the maternal support he needs.

But yeah, Diana, Conrad, maybe Canta. Oh, shit, I just remembered Vyenemoinen called me Matriarch, too, and realized he might have been, y'know, acknowledging me as his. I'm also not sure about Dionysus or Marie. I'd be cool with Dionysus wanting to join, although I think he's still officially the Heir to Olympus, and I don't want him giving up a solid inheritance for me. Okay, I won't insist on it, or even suggest it, but holy shit that would be a huge ego boost.

Who am I kidding, that would just make me feel guilty that I hadn't labeled him my Heir. Because if I have one of those, it's definitely Isnomi. Oh, fuck, Isnomi is also probably part of the Pantheon. Not sure on Domnu, and that would be really fuckin' weird. She is, point of fact, my mom, in the Deific physiological sense, if there is such a thing. Her taking me as Matriarch would be super weird, especially with her being Matriarch of her own Pantheon. The same goes for Sigyn. Okay, she's not a Matriarch, but she's definitely mom shaped, and fills a mom shaped hole in me. Yeah, she's Mom. Loki's Dad, and having me be my Dad's Matriarch is just... way too Ray Stevens for me.

Yeah, still Tabitha, still had all those Aunties with all those old media collections. Only reason anyone thinks anything is Lost Media is because they haven't asked the Hood Aunties politely.

So I've got like, one definite and a whole assed bunch of maybes, and I think that's probably something I ought to do, is clarify who is part of my Pantheon and what they expect of me in terms of Matriarching. Or Momming.

I'm not sure, but on top of all that I think I might still be the Phileo Councilperson for Mimic. I hope not, because I sure as fuck haven't been anywhere near as active in the Phileo political scene as a Councilperson ought to be. Honestly, if I remember right Lenny has more than one seat, so I'm thinking maybe I can convince Saffron to be Phileo's Councilperson for Mimic. She's way better at that shit than I am anyhow. Or maybe Karen. I'd trust Karen to represent me, definitely.

Dammit, now I've got this really awful urge to make Madeline my rep on the Phileo Council, just to fuck with people. Or maybe Olga. Be funny watching her tapping on the glass roof and shit to get the Council's attention. Then again, I'm not sure if either of them are allowed to be Phileo Councilpersons, since they're not from Phileo in any sense of the word.

At any rate, that's just me. Mother. Deity. Champion. High Priestess. Councilwoman. Also, and this is something that makes me feel really guilty that I'd almost forgot to add it to the list, when it's so fundamental to who and what I am, Wife. Mistress too, I guess, although honestly I'd Wife either of them in a heartbeat if they asked. 'Partner', since 'spouse' only covers two of the four.

Over the course of the Summer I spent time with my kids and got in touch with my Worshippers, so I think I'm doing okay with those parts. I do my best to never let my partners fall too far out of my focus, and even if I fuck that up on the regular, they're forgiving and like the way I smell, I think. But over the course of the Autumn I think I need to sort out my Pantheon. Not in any kind of permanent fashion, but just making sure I know who's counting on me for what, so I don't let anybody else down. I mean, I know Murphy's gonna have his bubblegum bitches the Fates throw shit my way, but I gotta start making goals and plans and shit, because I am a whole assed functioning adult now.

But like I said, that's me. Just looking at the adults who I regularly share beds and bodily fluids with, the least multi-hatted person might be Siobhan, who is the Healer in charge of one of the Academy's two Infirmaries. Even if she's on maternity leave right now, her name is still on the door, and will remain there until she decides she's not up to having it there. She's also a Concubine. Mine. Ours, because the three of us definitely made that clear to her on the Wedding night, I think. Honestly, if my little family winds up redefining that word for the Alliance as a whole, maybe for the whole fuckin' world, I'd take that as a complete win. But along with Healer and Concubine, she's also a whole assed Archmage. Yeah, she kinda got that title with a little help from a certain Kitten, but she Shaped the Mana, she kicked that fucker off. On top of all three of those, she's building a tiny human in her belly, and our kids have clearly slotted her firmly into the constellation of motherhood that we've got going on at the Homestead.

Then there's Marie, who is the wifiest of tradwives, plus my High Priestess, which I just fuckin' remembered Siobhan is too, on top of being Canta's High Priestess. Getting back to Marie, she's Isnomi's High Priestess, and fuck me but I can't figure out which one of those two puts more work on her plate, and part of the work on her plate as both my High Priestess and my Wife is fucking me. On top of all of that she's also the Champion of Dionysus, plus Head Maid at Phileo Heroic, and you have not even begun to understand the depths of the lewd 'Head Maid' puns until you've had someone with a tiger's tongue touch your tingly bits. An elevated experience for the sophisticated consumer, lemme tell you.

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Tallulah, even though she's new to our whole poly-whatever, has been fully dragged into momming any and all of our kids at any time, primarily by said kids themselves. I think Menace and Maze did that maybe to help Ria, both with feeling accepted and feeling like part of the family, but fuck it, whyever whoever did it, it's done and I like it. She's also on track to become third Wife or second Concubine, and right now I'm not sure which part of my brain is yelling worse. The one that's wondering whether she's third or fourth Wife, since there are in fact three of us already married, or the one that's bitching because I just wifed one Concubine to bring the number down to zero, only to have it jump back to one before I could fully enwifenate the first one, and now I'm very possibly gonna wind up with two. Again.

Or I'm gonna wind up with another Wife, and I'll have to figure out how to... Okay, how to stop myself from convincing Siobhan to accept that she's Concubine to four Wives, because my inner Tomoko now wants 'Siobhan pulling a four mare hitch' to be the art on the Bedroom wall. At any rate, along with being a mom and partner, Tallulah is not only also a High Priestess, but also also building a Naval Academy from scratch, not to mention, minor thing, a fuckin' Head of State.

It should by this point not be at all surprising that I've saved the one with the most on her itty bitty because she's tiny and I will absolutely enjoy paying for that on Ledger Day plate, my Wife, my love, my Kitten, my Saffron. Mom. Wife. Mistress. Councilwoman. Archmage, who I think may have levelled that particular Title up. Priestess Most High Above All Others, with all the Religious Scholarship and Leadership that title implies, which I absolutely don't do for Dad. Oh, and, little thing, Imperator of the fuckin' Alliance, which is itself like three different jobs at a minimum.

Yeah. Some part of me wants to just hole up at the Homestead and vibe with the kids and my partners forever, but at this point I'm pretty sure that all this shit would fall apart without us. Which... is a problem. One which all of us, each in our own ways, is working to fix. I'd say I gotta sit down and make sure we're not working at cross purposes on that one, but let's face it. What I really need to do is ask Saffron about what the next steps on her plan are, because I know she's totally got one.

Because if anybody has the path from now to that cottage by the sea mapped out, it's my Kitten. Which means I really ought to get to building it. A kitchen for Marie, and maybe me. A big picture window and some kind of wide screen with a nice big sofa bed for all of us to lie in looking out it. I'd say something about a bedroom, but if that bedroom isn't the Bedroom, I think Siobhan might mutiny. Fuck, Saffron and Marie might mutiny. Shit, I'm ostensibly the Captain, even if we all know First Officer Saffron is calling all the shots, and I think I would mutiny if that didn't happen.

Heavy thoughts. Big thoughts. End of Season, start of another, time goes rolling on thoughts.

Doesn't help that the past twenty-four were both kinda intense and a absolutely the most pleasant sort of boring.

Got home. Got dinner. Got the kids in bed. Got a look from Saffron that scared me a little; a Grin I knew I'd seen before, but couldn't remember where. She reached out a hand, I took it, and a moment later she sat me down on the end of the bed. Then knelt in front of me. Worship washed over me like a wave, and the only reason I didn't topple over backwards was a wave hitting me from behind as well as Marie settled in, kneeling, by the headboard.

"Don't... Uh, wouldn't you fit there better?"

Saffron just Grinned up at me. Then, as the rest of my Clergy arrived one by one, gently pushed my legs apart. "Oh, but she'd be looking you right in the eye."

"You're looking me right in the eye."

She ran her tongue across her lips. "But you're thinking about me not doing that."

"Guilty."

"Don't be. But by the time we're done, she'd no longer be looking you in the eye."

I chuckled a little at that, resisting the sudden urge to close my knees, but giving into the one to lean back just a little, holding myself up with my palms flat on the mattress. "But you will?"

She nodded. "Yes, I will."

I might have glanced down my front. "You mean you don't want to?"

"Oh, I do. But I have more self control than our Wife."

I was gonna say something about that, but Marie cut me off with a simple, "True That."

Then Madeline arrived, and the Worship ramped up. I tried, I really did, but I couldn't keep my eyes locked on Saffron's. I lost track of time, but some time a while after they started, some time before sunrise, but after midnight, my head tilted backward, and I stared up into my own eyes. My own eyes, glowing with raw Mana. The photonegative of what I'd seen before, with sparkles of dark stars whirling through a universe of light. So weird, at some point I got a vague impression that Domnu showed up. Or, rather, almost did, but left with a quiet, "please pardon my interruption."

Yeah, the fact that barely registered is a good indicator of my mental state. Utterly, completely overwhelmed by... Positivity? But not the toxic 'oh, all will be well' or other dismissive shit. Power. Power collected and refined by my Clergy, presented as a tithe to me, their Goddess.

The sun breached the horizon, and one by one my Clergy sagged to the bed, exhausted, spent, and sweaty, until only Marie, Tallulah, and Saffron remained upright. Saffron pushed herself to her feet, held one hand out to Tallulah, then looked at Marie and said, "will you be able to watch over them all?"

Marie shot us all a rakish, sweaty smile and said, "Ds Help."

I knew, somehow, that she was talking about her Divine progenitor and his sister, not her tits, but I couldn't help but staring at them and giggling as they reacted to my stare. Of course right then Saffron grabbed me by the chin and pulled my mouth to hers, thinking, you know what to do, Goof.

I poured Mana into her via mouth to mouth, exploring her with my tongue as I did so, reveling in how she did the same, drinking it in. You know what you're not allowed to do, then.

Yeah, I'd absolutely been sloppy about it, and loved the way rivulets of pure liquid Mana dripped down her chin from the corners of her mouth when she pulled away. "So lewd."

"Not as lewd as how I was thinking of doing that."

I watched as my words tested my Kitten's control. She pulled Tallulah around, reached up to take her by the back of the neck, then spent an endless moment very clearly choosing not to push our Sidhe lady to her knees in front of me. She broke the tableau by closing her eyes, whispering, "next time," then forcing Tallulah's lips to mine. Not like our long tall drink of T really needed forcing. Kinda fun pushing that Mana uphill, but about halfway through the process her knees gave out and I held her there, dangling, as I forced Mana and tongue alike into her eager mouth.

Eventually I pulled away, grinning like an idiot at how the liquid Mana traced its way between the freckles that covered her breasts.

She blinked, pulled her feet under her, and turned to Saffron. "Skyclad, then?"

Saffron just nodded, took us both by the hands, and stepped us to the top of the West Tower. "So, what are we doing today, Kitten?"

She Grinned up at me. "You? Probably being bored as you lend us your power, my Goddess." She turned to Tallulah. "Us? Shaping."

Tallulah nodded. "At your direction." At Saffron's raised eyebrow, she said, "you are the Archmage, after all."

"For now."

Then the Shaping began. I understood some time around noon why Saffron brought Tallulah, as they built not one, but two distinct Shapes, one inside and underneath the other. Tallulah Shaped, then maintained the outer one, continuing to pour my Mana into it while Saffron continued Shaping both massively intricate Spells. I only realized the Sun neared the horizon because I felt it do so, because by that point we stood within two Shapes, each one half a dozen feet thick, as complex as any circuit board I'd ever seen, the inner one starting at and maybe anchored by the railing around the tower, the outer one starting a solid yard outside the inner one.

Tallulah's hands had gone still at least half an hour before, though she never stopped pouring Mana into the outer Shape. Saffron's hands slowed, stilled, and she looked at Tallulah. "Whenever you're ready."

If Tallulah looked surprised, she recovered quickly, nodded, and barked out a word that twisted in my ears, Blend incompletely translating it to, "System."

The outer Spell washed outward in every direction. If Saffron's first Global Spell had caused a wave of crackling destruction and creation, Tallulah's single word released a Global tsunami, leaving a sparkling fractally complex grid that faded with glacial slowness. As Tallulah's Spell crested the horizon, Saffron smiled and said, "Thank you, Archmage Crow." Then as Tallulah nodded, she waved her hands through a familiar pattern and breathed out, in some language deeper than spoken Mortal words, "Status."

The pattern I'd seen earlier flared again, Saffron's Spell empowering it, altering it, washing through it, a firestorm following the path of the tsunami.

As the sun followed Saffron's spell over the horizon, she looked at me, reached her arms up, and said, "home, please, love?"

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