Dear Diary,

With everything that's happened since then, I guess it's easy for me to forget Saffron first started researching her new improved Inspect so we could get a realistic look at Isnomi's Status. I guess we could have, at some point, asked her to drop her Blend, but precocious or not she's still not three yet. I'm pretty sure at her developmental age I wouldn't have understood the need to do something like that, and if I did I might have fucked around just to fuck around. Shit, the little Menace put old school text emojis into her Status because she could. So in order to make sure that our... Not 'oldest', but I guess I could say 'first' daughter is healthy and not likely to die suddenly of old age, we still needed Saffron's new Blend Buster Status Spell.

Gonna take me a little to adapt to the fact that Identify isn't so much a spell as a fancy, uh, 'command line option' for Status. I mean, I knew they were the same thing since Loki first told me, but I'd always thought that Status was just a personal Inspect. Not a huge adjustment, but I know there are gonna be some people who blow a fuckin' gasket over it. Even with the basic Shaping technique being identical, people are gonna gripe because the numbers are presented differently. People will gripe because things look different. I'm sure some people will gripe because their numbers changed in a way that makes them think they're weaker or some shit, because Franklin's shit was ass, and Saffron's isn't, so they're finally getting accurate numbers.

Of course, we started out with that because she was learning so fast, maturing so fast. Meanwhile Hailee's out here saying her first words at a couple months old. The kits are all walking now, although they've got that wobbly mid-growth-spurt thing going on whether they're on four legs or two, and most of them have been sticking to four on the floor because of that. Which makes it even more ridiculous when they lose their balance and two legs go out from under them. Tipping to the side is funny, and accidental drops into sitting cat position is hilarious, but fuck up faceplant leaves me making really weird faces every time they do it.

I'm realizing all this because Sigyn decided that the kits were getting over on the girls, making the girls carry them and bring them stuff when they absolutely did not need them to. So for the past two days she had them all playing chase and pounce and other 'run and fetch' games. Daya, David, and Maze all either tapped out quick each round, or managed to finagle being in the 'throwing' position for the entire game, because while none of them is anywhere near as pudgy as Bill was in our first Season at the Academy, none of those three is really 'athletic' in any sense of the word. Okay, Maze likes swimming, but I think ninety percent of her swimming is done with funky Kelpie Mana Skills, not actual muscles.

Fuck it. For all intents and purposes, we're rich, and if I'm not gonna let my kids pretend they 'earned' that shit or anything stupid like that, I'm also not going to force them to go get jobs just to have jobs. If they find their passion, like Lindsey with agriculture and horticulture and anything to do with nature, or Alex and wanting to be a Hero, great. If they just wind up sitting in their room reading books and growing old and fat and lazy, that's fine too. I mean, I hope they each find something they enjoy, something they can share with the world, but if part of what I've paid for with all the pain and scars and nightmarish memories is the right for my kids to take their time, so be it. Fuck it, I think I feel the same way about all the kids at the Temple orphanage. Maybe even all the kids at the school.

Maybe all the kids in the Alliance.

Yeah, I get that some of them will wind up having to go do some kind of work. Hopefully we can at least buy them enough time to find something that's not actively painful for them to do, and I will personally feed somebody their colon if they try to pull the kind of fucked up, 'the cruelty is the point' shit I remember from back in the day. Like if some dumb entitled fuck makes his cashiers stand up when their whole job is to stand there literally putting money in his coffers, I will not take kindly to that.

But yeah, my kids do get my attention more than others. I'm glad we're getting this time to spend with them, even if Saffron and I have spent most of it thus far working with her new Status. The new Status, really, since as a Global Spell it's basically common property. Really gotta make sure Kitten knows not to let anybody get their grips into something that ubiquitous and try and monetize it.

Of course, I realized as I sat down and talked with the kids as we got them ready for bed that big Global problems were the least of my worries. We'd hopped home to use the potty and get everybody showered up, then hopped back to Dad's place to get everybody tucked in around him and Grandma Sigyn. David looked a little put out, which was not normal for my little girliest of girls, so I pulled her aside and helped her into her onesie. "What's up, kiddo?"

"Nothin'."

I pushed my Blend up a little and said, "no, seriously, I can tell you're bummed about something, and I want to help."

"Nah, you're busy."

That hit hard. Totally not David's fault, but after spending most of my life feeling unwanted because my mom had to work so much, the idea that I'd let my own kids feel that way was just not even in it. I pulled her into a hug, then said, "never too busy for you, my little Davie girl."

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Then she ripped my heart out and stomped on it by saying, "then why'd you forget my birthday?"

I didn't let myself deflate. Didn't let myself show her how much failing her upset me. Then I realized that even that was kinda fucking up; I couldn't close down and make it right, I had to show her. So I did, just kinda slumping down right then and there. "I'm sorry, David. I got wrapped up in everything that was going on and lost sight of what was important."

She shook her head. "But the stuff you do is important, Mama." I opened my mouth, I dunno whether to argue or agree, but she followed that with, "way more important than me."

"No. The fuck. It is not." Her eyes got real wide when I said 'fuck', but Saffron could take that out of my hide later. Or Marie. Or both of them. Or all of my ladies. "David, do you know why I started doing the shit that led to," I paused, then waved my hand around, "all this?"

"No?"

"Somebody stole my daughter. Snatched her off the street and stabbed Grandma Aetos. I lost my shit and, way back before there was even an Alliance for me to be Champion of, I kicked my way into Diana's Temple, killed her High Priestess, kicked the shit out of Diana herself, and took your sister back from her."

David's eyes got a little bit with that, but at the end she just shrugged and said, "yeah, but that's Isnomi."

"So?"

"She's important."

I lifted her up, snuggled her, trying to hide my tears, and said, "so are you, David. So are you." I pulled away just far enough for her to look into my eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry that I got distracted, that we all got distracted, and made you think you're not important." I stopped, just hugging my little girl and trying to think of something. I had an idea, and it was stupid, but I was desperate. I pulled away enough I could lift her up onto my lap and put an arm around her. "Okay, you know how Mama's sorta technically a Goddess, right?"

She snorted. "Sorta. You are a Goddess, Mama."

"Okay, do you think I'm a good Goddess? One who helps people and makes the world a better place?"

It did not do my fears any good to see her ponder rather than responding right away. But I held my fuckin' tongue and let her respond in her own time. "I think you make the world a better place by making bad people stop hurting people more than you do by helping people."

I sighed, in part because she was right, but mostly because she still thought I made the world a better place. "Okay. So you know who got me to do that?"

She thought a second. "Mom?" I shook my head. She pondered some more. "Marie?"

"Nope."

"Then who?"

I nodded toward the smaller of my platinum haired ladies, who'd already bedded down clutching Hailee like an increasingly oversized teddy bear. "Siobhan. Siobhan did was just the right person to do just the right thing at just the right time for me to realize I wanted to be a Hero. Wanted to try to make the world a better place."

My girl nodded, saying, "oh..." But I could tell she didn't really get it. Not quite.

"Okay, so I love Mom. I love Marie. I love Siobhan, and Tallulah, and all you girls. But who's the most important?"

"Siobhan?"

I smiled and shook my head. "Nah." She looked confused. "None of you is more important to me than any of the others, David. You're all important to me. There's no ranking or anything. If there's a fire in our house I'm not grabbing any one of you to take out first, I'm grabbing the fire and taking it out, because you're all so, so precious to me."

She giggled a little at me soft quoting Pratchett, although I had no idea if Maze had ever read that one to her. Hell, I had no idea if Maze had read that one herself yet. In fact... "Hey, how's your reading coming along?"

She shrugged. "So so. Maze said she'd let me read her Hobbit book if I was really careful, but I dunno if I can yet."

I smiled. "Tell you what. If you want, I'll sit and read with you like I used to with her. If you want."

"Right now?"

I frowned a little. "Right now is time for bed, you little conniver. But I'll tell you what. Would you rather have your birthday party in the morning, or wait for Sunday?"

"Will there be cake tomorrow?"

I nodded. "But it might be better Sunday. With more time to prep and all."

I definitely got to see David make the differentiation between instant and delayed gratification right there, in the most practical of terms. "Can I have cake both days?"

"Hmm... Plain cake tomorrow, birthday cake Sunday, at the party?"

"Okay!"

I swept her into a hug. "Okay then. Tomorrow, since we'll have a little time, I'll see if we can't borrow your sister's copy of the Hobbit and read it together. Unless..."

"Unless?"

"Unless you want me to get you your own copy?"

She shook her head slowly. "I dunno if I'll even like it yet."

"Fair. Okay then. It's still time for bed now, but first thing tomorrow we'll do that. Okay?"

"Okay, Mama." With that I dropped the little privacy bubble, carried her to the big cuddle puddle around Loki and Sigyn's bed, and settled in to sleep.

Okay, I settled her in to sleep. Mentally I pinged all my ladies. We forgot David's birthday.

Marie felt as wordlessly ashamed as I was, and Saffron simply replied, fuck.

Yeah, crisis sort of delayed, she's upset, not heartbroken, I don't think, because she realizes we're all crazy busy. But... birthday party Sunday. Also, we need to make sure we don't miss Alex's or Daya's, come hell or high water.

Marie growled out, Agreed.

Can you figure out what to get her while I read with her tomorrow? I'll be down to going and getting and grabbing, but I don't think I can really engage brain mode while paying proper attention to her.

I could read to her. With her, thought Siobhan.

I hate to do this to you, but if Saffron is shopping and Marie is cooking, I think we need you and Tallulah kid wrangling. Sigyn's good, but...

Siobhan smirked. But even with three of us, we're still outnumbered five to one. Of course, Mistress.

So weird seeing the Maw turned into Party Planning central. When I woke, I confirmed Maze didn't mind us borrowing her copy of the Hobbit. So we snagged that, I scooped up my girliest of girls, and spent the day reading with her. Okay, mostly reading to her, because she's definitely not up to a Tolkien vocabulary level, but I think she liked that just as much, if not more. We even got a couple of the other kids watching when Loki pitched in and started doing little illusions of some of the scenes.

I gotta get better at this whole momming thing.

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