Why am I doing this, again? Zaa!nu asked herself, as she tried not to fall on her face. She was standing in Level 1, trying to figure out how to go through the exit tunnel and outside without falling over.

Right, because I was the only one the right height to wear this alien armor. Poor life choices, Zaa'nu. You should have picked some other height to be. Your own fault, really.

She wobbled severely and almost fell over. Again. It was all she could do to brace against the stone wall of the passage.

How the sweet god of breeding do those motherless murderers walk in these things?!

"Come on, Zaa!nu, you can do it!" Geh!aoa cheered her friend. "It's just like riding a duo-cycle!"

Zaa!nu glared back. "That might have helped if I'd ever ridden in one of these things before, Geh!"

"No, no!" Geh!aoa continued, completely undeterred. "I mean it will be easier to balance if you keep moving forward!"

Oh. That actually made sense. Geh!aoa was the smartest ditz Zaa!nu had ever met. Maybe she was onto something.

Zaa!nu took a wobbly step forward and started to fall. Instead of trying to catch herself, she pushed to keep moving. She stumbled faster and faster, and fell after five steps. Knowing they were horribly short on time, she scrabbled against the nearest wall and pulled herself up again as quickly as she could.

There was a strange, loud noise and a rumbling vibration in the hillside.

"Nik!eh just killed the one outside!" Geh!kin reported.

"Yes!" Geh!aoa cheered.

Zaa!nu tried again, and this time she started falling backwards. "Grab her, grab her, grab her!" Geh!kin shouted a warning, and two people she couldn't see kept her from falling until she could wobble back upright.

"Thanks."

"If you're gonna fall, fall forwards," one of the men advised. "Otherwise you'll be waving your arms and legs in the air like a bazaba that got turned over." Zaa!nu held her tongue instead of biting the man's head off for stating the obvious.

"The ship is moving this way," Geh!kin continued to update them, staring at his tablet.

"Give me that kazz helmet," Zaa!nu demanded, and someone handed it over. What was his name again? He's kind of cute. If I'm not dead a kozeg from now, I should give him a courting touch. If I pull this off, I want to give myself some kind of reward.

She lifted the helmet over her head and folded her ears in anticipation of the confinement. She paused a moment to give everyone one last glare. "Nobody shoot me." Then she pulled the helmet down, and others fumbled with it until it clicked in place.

There was a little hiss of air and the space in front of her eyes started glowing with gibberish symbols. Talk about walking with your face in a book! She squinted to see past the symbols, and they shrank down until she had visibility back. If she looked at the tiny squiggles, they got big again.

I don't have time for this! She forced the markings to shrink again and resolved not to look at—Kazz! There was a loud rumbling thump just outside while she got the markings out of her way again, pointedly staring straight ahead.

"Geh!kin, Nik!eh is calling," the golem announced.

"Put him through! Hello, Nik!eh. Thank you. I see the soldier outside is dead. There are two soldiers with you. One is stationary. The other one is very close to you."

"Yes. Very. Help, please?"

"Open the hatch now. Do not shoot the fuak!a wearing alien armor."

Zaa!nu could hear the whine of a strange motor, and the early dawn light shifted in the tunnel entrance. I'm out of time. Here we go.

She leaned forward, and despite her determination almost fell over backwards as she tried to get started. She wobbled her arms for balance, swung her weight past her feet, and started lunging forward. Left, right, left, right, push, push...whooops uh leftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightwall!

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For a moment she hugged the bulkhead she had just hit, grateful to it for keeping her upright. Kazz! Which way do I go?? She looked in one direction, then the other, trying to spot a clue. Nik!eh's probably in the driver's seat, and the driver's seat should be in the front. So, which way is the front?

The only difference she could see was the immobilized soldier she had been warned about. Maybe that means he went that way?

Just pick one, Zaa! she yelled at herself, and started lumbering past the frozen enemy, trying to walk but erring on the side of falling against the wall—the bulkhead. She bounced off the wall half a dozen times in two dozen steps, but actually made it to the corner where the passageway turned without falling, which felt like a nyn!o miracle.

Given her predicament, she had to risk it, so she toddled forward and rammed the opposite wall, as a way of seeing past the turn. There was an open hatch in front of her, and some parts were dangling from the bulkhead in a way they probably weren't supposed to. Stepping through the hatch took far too long.

Nik!eh is running out of time. Who knew how much farther it was? Zaa!nu rocked sideways as she lumbered forward, hitting the wall to her left every other step. When the passageway hooked a left, she didn't waste a moment. She just charged the far wall again and leaned on it a moment after she had slammed into it and pushed herself closer to upright. As soon as she could do it without falling, she looked left.

Another hatch was in that direction, again with parts dangling from the wall, and what looked like a toolbox below that. There was also an invader, in full armor, rushing towards her.

I'm going to die. Right. Now.

Instead of knocking her down or shooting her, though, the invader grabbed her by the shoulders, holding her upright. After a moment, he shook her, as if trying to get an answer out of her. She tilted her head to the side, and pointed past him urgently with her off hand. The alien turned to look, and she brought up the weapon she had been carrying the whole time. She opened fire.

She'd test-fired it once in the tunnel to make sure it was working, so the gun responded to her repeated trigger pulls, punching shots into the invader's armor. She only got three shots off before her gun arm was batted aside. A punch that probably was just supposed to be a feint sent her falling over backwards.

She brought her gun back into line just after the alien did, and they both started firing at each other repeatedly, her lying on her back and the alien standing over her. The noise was deafening even through the helmet. Her hearing had already suffered enough, and her ears were painfully squashed. At this point, she basically couldn't make out anything in the cacophony.

Why aren't our shots getting through the armor? She wondered. I'd say I was screwing up somehow but his shots aren't hurting me either. Actually, that wasn't quite true. The alien kept focusing on one spot on her chest, hitting the same place over and over. That spot was getting uncomfortably warm, and she could feel the impacts harder there.

I'm losing, I think. Should I try to get behind something? But there was no cover, not for either of them. It was a straight up slugfest.

She did her best, firing over and over at the invader's head. She missed a few times, but only a few. She was hitting surprisingly often. Maybe I'm a natural at this! She hit three times in a row, but didn't feel happy. Too bad I'm only finding that out when I'm going to be dead in a zeg.

He started blocking head shots with his free arm, but that ruined his aim, too, so it was a tradeoff. He started moving closer, probably about to disarm her somehow. She kept shooting as long as she could, very focused on the enemy's head, tracking it no matter how he tried to dodge.

Which was why she saw it when a metal bar hit the back of the alien's helmet, snapping his head forward a moment.

He stopped shooting; she didn't. He looked behind him, and Zaa!nu could just make out that the hatch at the end of the passageway was open, and Nik!eh the pink alien was standing there, holding up his middle finger for some reason. The alien swung his gun around very fast to point at the seemingly defenseless Nik!eh, but at the same time, Nik!eh held up his other hand, wielding a small rock as if it were a talisman against evil.

The alien was clearly ready to kill Nik!eh in an instant, yet he hesitated. Zaa!nu kept pouring shots into the alien's head, which he ignored, wondering why he didn't fire. Is he reluctant to shoot for fear of hitting the rock for some reason?

Her ears tried to flare and hit the sides of the helmet. Terrible Sun, is that little rock PETRA?!? Is Nik!eh insane!?

The stalemate broke when Nik!eh moved, diving back through the hatch even as it slammed closed again. The crazy gambit almost worked, but Nik!eh didn't have a warrior's reflexes. He screamed in pain as the invader chanced a shot and hit.

Her enemy turned back to her and charged in her direction, blocking head shots with both forearms, clearly tiring of the annoyingly accurate native on the floor. She took a chance and shot at the rifle in his hand three times in a row, creating sparks along it all three times. A kick sent her own weapon flying as soon as the invader was in range. In a flash he jammed the muzzle of his rifle against the painful spot on her chest and pulled the trigger.

The rifle misfired. Misfired again. Fired, and pain stabbed her chest. Then misfired again. The alien pulled the rifle away from her chest, and started sparking all over...as if he were taking fire from several guns at once. He charged past her, and she couldn't see or hear what was happening, but she felt several hard impacts through the deck. Finally, everything went quiet.

Then Geh!kin was crouched next to her, a gun in one hand, reaching for her helmet. She helped him get it off. "Are you all right?" she thought he said, then he repeated himself louder. "ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?"

Zaa!nu looked at him, felt her chest and winced, but nodded. She lay back and rested her head on the deck, marveling that she was still alive. She stared at Geh!kin, and he looked a question at her.

"I WANT SHOOTING LESSONS!" she yelled at him.

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