I Got A Rock

Chapter 151 Ice-Breaker


All four races played card games.

Nick found this out when some Ooafans started up a lively game with well-worn cards in the mess hall. A few Goldaskian women asked questions about it, and once Yiyirari drifted over, that pulled Grrmyip, and Nick followed his new friend.

One of the Goldaskian women—Nick thought her name was Paula or something like that—asked, "Can we see the beep...the way they look?"

"Designs," everyone muttered in their respective languages.

"Sure." The fuakala Nick thought of as 'Zelda Two' gathered up the cards and started laying them out in order. "There are five beep, and twelve beep in each beep."

"Suits," Nick muttered. "Values. Twelve values in each suit."

"Five, huh? We use three suits," Paula commented. "With sixteen values each. I'll go get my deck." She headed off.

"I'll get mine," Yiyirari added, doing likewise.

"Nick, what about humans? Do you play cards?" Sana asked.

Nick nodded. "Yes. We have four suits, with thirteen values in each." He pulled up his tablet. "Petra, show me the queue for Printer Seven?" Printer Seven was the one reserved for his own use. There was nothing particularly urgent on the list, so he told Petra to pause it and print him a fresh deck of cards.

Sana noticed and asked, "You don't have your own deck?"

"I did. I think your exiles have it now. I was kind of in a rush when your people invaded, and I've been pretty busy up here since then."

"It was very quick thinking on your part. The Ooafans wouldn't have stood a chance of taking this ship without your actions."

"Thanks." Nick nodded to acknowledge the praise.

While he was waiting for his deck to print, Nick watched curiously as the others returned and displayed their own. He squinted at Yiyirari's, then blinked. "What the hell?" He reached out and flipped one of her cards over. "Your cards are two sided?"

"Yes."

"You don't have games where you hide your cards?"

Yiyirari and Grrmyip exchanged a look Nick couldn't read. "Of course we do. The front and back don't always match. Seeing one side doesn't completely tell you which card it actually is."

"Weird."

"I'd be happy to teach you a few of our games," the female Arrurran offered.

Nick figured he only had the mental space to learn one deck, and begged off. "I'll try a simpler one first, but thank you."

The Ooafan games were fairly easy to learn, once you got past the five suits. They didn't have face cards, but their aces followed a separate set of rules and that was the hardest part. They had games very similar to gin rummy, hearts, oh hell, and a few others seemed vaguely familiar. Nick tried to play a few rounds and naturally got trounced soundly.

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When Polla explained the Goldaskian deck, Nick was a little puzzled. "Aren't physical playing cards kind of a...what do you call it...anachronism for you?" When Petra predictably beeped, he tried, "Very old way to play, for you?"

"Most games, yes, we play on tablets. But, we use physical cards when we play for money. You can't completely trust anything on a screen, after all."

The Goldaskian games were also familiar. They had one similar to blackjack where the goal was to reach 31, not 21. They even had poker, though it was a weird variant where you had to answer certain questions honestly about your hand, but were free to lie about others. Nick played a dozen games and only won the last one—and he suspected that win was because the others let him.

Then Polla changed it up. "How about a few games of beep beep?"

Sana started laughing. It turned out that strip poker was a game that transcended cultures. "It's likely to be just a lesson in anatomy of different species," the doctor pointed out.

"I can work with that," Polla countered. Nick caught an odd look from her, and his eyes widened. Holy shit, the bright red demoness with black horns is an alien furry! Sana caught his reaction and started laughing harder. And now the other bright red demoness is laughing at me. What the hell do I do here?

So, naturally, he asked about alcohol. Now it was Polla's eyes that widened, once he explained the effects. Sana asked him about other mind-altering chemicals humans used, and Nick could describe the effects of a few but didn't know chemical formulas or anything. Finally, Sana vetoed the idea for the time being.

Polla protested. "Come on, doc, let's have some fun!"

"No. I'll have to test his body with different substances and see what effects they have. You don't want him to beep all over you, right?"

"I guess... Well, that doesn't mean I can't take something." Polla reached into a pocket and pulled out a small container.

"Don't forget to record your intentions. And try not to cause an interstellar incident."

Polla grabbed both her horns for dramatic effect. "Yes, Mom." She muttered to herself for a few moments, then tossed something tiny at Nick. He snatched it out of the air and examined the little black cube.

"What's this?"

Sana groaned and held out her hand. "I'll hold onto it for you. It's her—" the rest of the sentence didn't translate. The doctor sighed. "I'll explain if it looks like it's going to become relevant." Nick dropped the object into her palm; he trusted the doctor more than the technician.

Whatever Polla took made her a bit giggly. Nick assumed she was buzzed, and they did end up playing strip poker. Yiyirari and Zelda Two joined in, along with a few others, in order for all the species to be represented.

They had fun with it. Each person who had to take off a piece of clothing made a joke of a strip tease, with Doctor Vickall doing a cross between a comparative anatomy class and an imitation of a vendor hawking wares at a flesh market. More than one participant reached for chemical courage at some point during the process.

Nick lost his shirt early on, and caught what he thought was a quick look of revulsion from Yiyirari. Ha. I guess my chest hair looks like a pathetic, sickly fur coat to her. It's probably like seeing an almost bald guy. Good thing I'm not into dog people.

The game went on, and eventually he was pretty sure Polla and Yiyirari started throwing games. It wasn't long after Yiyirari lost her shirt that Grrmyip towed her out of the mess hall. I guess that was a sexy dog-person dance or something. She knew what she was doing to Grrmyip.

Nick was glad that he hadn't had anything to drink so that he didn't embarrass himself when Polla got more distracting. It turned out that Goldaskian anatomy was extremely similar to human, so much so that Nick was painfully aware that it had been over a year since he'd last seen a woman from Earth. If it weren't for the horns and red skin she wouldn't look out of place on a cheerleading squad.

His brain kept telling him close enough and he kept telling his brain to shut up.

As ice-breakers went, it was pretty successful overall. Maybe this will help us get along a little better.

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