"Remember what we talked about Renn," Kaley said with a grin.
"I will…!" I nodded, doing my best to not grin back at her.
My left cheek still hurt a little, and I didn't want to re-open the wound. It had scabbed up a little, though Vim had put some kind of ointment on it so I knew it'd not rip and start bleeding again easily, I was still being careful.
"You're in danger, Vim," Meriah whispered behind me.
"You have no idea," Vim whispered back.
My grin grew larger, and I flinched but hadn't needed to worry. The wound hadn't opened.
Ignoring the two behind me I stepped forward and gave Kaley a hug. The half-dressed woman had a blanket around her, since it was cold, but it didn't stop me from feeling her warm body as we hugged. "Goodbye Renn. Even if the Society falls apart and all, please visit sometimes. At the very least come back to let me know how he is in bed, okay?" Kaley whispered as we hugged.
I laughed at her and nodded. "Okay. Stay warm, Kaley. Vim thinks this winter will be a real bad one," I said.
"It already is, Renn! Look at all the white around us!" Kaley said as we separated.
There was no need to look around; I'd seen it all already. And in fact last night I had sat and watched the snow fall and fall alongside her and Meriah.
Vim had, after tending my wound and fixing a few things around Kaley's house, like usual let us be. A part of me knew it was because he wanted to give us three our time alone, but another part of me knew it was because he was tired of being teased over the cut on my face.
Neither of them had actually thought he had hurt me on purpose, but they had both been more than willing to tease him as if so. And although he had nodded and smiled through most of it, I had seen the slight hurt on his expression underneath his normal stoic demeanor.
Like always Vim took his own failures very personally. Especially when those failures involved the lives or blood spilling of those he felt he should protect and cherish.
I was so thankful my wound had not been too severe. I could only imagine the terrible sorrow he would have had to endure had it been worse.
I'll need to be careful from now on. To make sure he didn't accidentally hurt me. Not just for my own self safety too, but his. Or at least, the safety of his heart and soul.
"All-righty Renn, get going, or I'll want to cuddle with you to keep warm!" Kaley said as she smirked and stepped back.
Blushing a little, since I knew she was being utterly serious, I nodded. "Okay. Goodbye Kaley."
"Mhm!" Kaley waved as I stepped away… and waved back at her as I left.
Walking behind Vim and Meriah, the fresh fallen snow crunched under our feet as we left Kaley's village. A village that had so few people left, the very roads were still pristine with fallen snow. We were the only footprints that could be seen upon the roads as we left.
Almost as if the town was empty. And all that lived there was Kaley.
But it wasn't true. There were still a couple dozen families. A few of them even had numerous members. It seemed last year, somehow, they had been blessed with a large batch of children. Ones that had, in their opinion, surprisingly survived the winter.
Hopefully they'd survive this one too, if such a thing really was that big of a worry that it was seen as unnatural for them to all survive.
Kaley and I waved one last time, and then she turned and headed into her home. The little shack looked quaint covered in snow with the way the chimney was leaking smoke… though it looked like it was leaking from the side, and not the top. It had a hole in it, didn't it…?
Feeling a little sad, I turned away and picked up my pace. Meriah and Vim had grown a little farther ahead. They were chatting lightly as they left, about our next stop.
"You're going to skip Brozo?" Meriah asked.
"While in Telmik I got a list of people that I no longer need to see. He's one of them," Vim said.
"Huh?" I hurried up a little, to step up next to Meriah and join their conversation. "You did, Vim?" I asked. Why hadn't he said anything?
He nodded. "I've debated going to them anyway, to verify it… but well…" He shrugged.
"Would they lie about that too? That people don't want to see us anymore?" I asked.
"Not sure. A part of me says yes, because I don't trust them, but their schemes are deeper than that. If Vim verified they lied about that, their more serious schemes would be exposed… so I doubt it," Meriah said.
That made sense, I guess…
"How many had been on the list?" I asked.
"Thirty three. At that point, at least," Vim said.
At that point. That meant he needed to add Sheilla, the one who used to make him pancakes on his visits, who told him he no longer needed to visit to that list too.
Thirty four locations, then. Not people. Which meant it was likely at least double that number.
I wonder if any of them had been people I knew. I was scared to ask.
Feeling a little sick, I reached up to itch a little below my cut. The ointment on it was making the left side of my face feel colder than the right, and it itched a little.
"Don't touch it Renn," Meriah warned gently.
"Yeah… So we'll head to Tor, then I'll be heading south a bit to check on a few things before heading to Telmik," Vim said, sounding tired.
"Then I suppose we should split up here then," Meriah said.
"Wait what?" I paused, frowning in worry as Meriah also stopped walking. She gave me a sad smile as I glanced between her and Vim. Vim looked unsurprised.
"I'm not allowed into Tor's village without a reason. And I want to go check on the church Light and the rest supposedly stayed at after returning here from the other continent," Meriah said, explaining.
Shifting a little, I glanced between Meriah and Vim again… and wondered if these two had talked about this already without me. "I thought you'd come with us to Telmik," I said softly. Isn't that what she had said? That she would join us there?
"And I will. I'll meet you two there, though depending on how both of us travel I might be either late or beat you there," Meriah said, grinning as if we were now in a race.
"But…" I was about to complain, since I had been utterly enjoying her company. I still had so much to ask about, such as her faith and why it was so different than the ones I knew, and…
"I know you wish to find more proof, Meriah. And I'm thankful you're the type to do so. But I suggest caution," Vim spoke up; before I could find the words I needed to say.
Meriah turned and nodded at Vim. "I know, Vim. I'll be careful. I promise. I know there are several of them I'd not be able to handle, I've fought them before so I know," she said.
Gosh…! "You're doing something that dangerous?" I asked, worried now for a different reason.
She turned and smiled at me. "Maybe. I don't know yet. I just want to see if there's anyone there I know, or should know. Plus if I'm lucky I can talk to the humans there, the nuns, and maybe hear some interesting information while I'm at it," she said.
Wanting to argue against it, I glanced at Vim. "Why aren't we doing that Vim? If it's that dangerous?" I asked accusingly.
"I'm a more direct approach, Renn. I'd rather go straight to the Chronicler and Light and confront them directly. If I needed more evidence, then yes, we would have. I'd have gone to verify a lot of things, but the map written by the Chronicler is enough for me to take action directly so I'm choosing to do so," Vim said calmly.
"Then why risk it, Meriah? If Vim is going to confront them anyway?" I asked her.
Meriah gave me an odd smile as she shrugged. "It's how I am, Renn. I planned to investigate them anyway, no matter what Vim does or will do. After all he might chop off the head of the snake, but that doesn't mean there won't be others to track down or investigate," she said.
"Still…"
"Look, Vim, she's acting as if we're lovers bound apart never to see one another ever again!" Meriah said happily as she pointed at me.
Although I couldn't help but smile, I still grumbled a noise as Vim smirked and nodded. "She doesn't like farewells, no. You should be happy Renn, I think you're the only person she's stuck around so long with willingly, without a true reason to do so," he said.
"What? Not even a full month!" I complained.
"I know. I promise when we meet in Telmik we'll spend more time together. Who knows maybe I'll come with you two for a bit then too, wherever you end up going. I usually don't travel south or east, so maybe it'd be a good change of pace," Meriah said.
I nodded. "I'd like that."
"Good. Now give me a hug so I can go before you cry or something," Meriah said as she stepped forward, extending her arms as she did. She had pulled her broken arm out of her sling, and had done so in a way that told me it was already healing enough to the point it wasn't bothering her much.
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Wrapping her in a hug, she chuckled at me as I held her close. I made sure to not accidentally bump or harm her broken arm as we squeezed each other. She really was smaller than she appeared. Her robes and outer cloak made her seem bigger than she really was.
"If I'm not there and Vim ends up killing them or something, make you sure you watch it all with your perfect memory so you can retell it to me later," Meriah said.
Sniffing, I nodded. "I'll make sure to."
Vim huffed, but I ignored him as I closed my eyes and took in a few breaths of her scent. She smelled like a flower. I dedicated her scent to memory, adding it to the long list of smells of my friends.
The list was growing, yet I cherished each one as if they were the only one I had.
"Okay! She's sniffing. Time to go!" Meriah said as she released me.
I held onto her for a moment more, and then begrudgingly let her go. She smirked at me as she stepped back and nodded. Nodding back, I blinked a few times to keep my eyes from welling with tears as she turned to Vim. "I'm glad I didn't leave this morning before saying goodbye, look at her she's adorable," Meriah then added.
"Told you," Vim said.
"What…? You were going to leave without saying goodbye?" I asked, a little hurt to learn so.
"Well… I usually do. I don't like goodbyes either, Renn. They make me feel like I always forget something," she said with a sigh.
Right… that was kind of the feeling wasn't it? "Goodbye Meriah. Stay safe please. You still have a lot to tell me about your mother and faith," I told her.
Meriah shifted a little, her eyes narrowing a little… but then she nodded. "Okay… goodbye Renn. Vim. May the two of you feed the flames," she said softly, then turned and stepped away.
Frowning a little I nodded and waved goodbye as she headed for a different road. Vim and I were heading inland; she looked like she was to head south along the coast.
Vim and I stood there watching her walk away. The snow wasn't falling very hard, letting her stay in sight and her footprints be visible as she headed deeper into the town.
"Hm… you're not crying at all really. Just some sniffles. Did you not like her as much as I had thought you had?" Vim asked gently.
"Huh…? No…? I had really enjoyed spending time with her. I'm sad to see her go, but I expected it, I guess. You've all made it clear she comes and goes often," I said.
Vim nodded softly, studying me as I studied Meriah. The road she was on had rounded a little, and she was about to leave my sight. There was a home in the way. A rickety one that might not even be lived in, by the looks of it.
"Feed the flames, Vim?" I asked.
"Her faith believes her heaven is a place of great warmth. A fire, burning without end. That one's soul joins it, to bask in its warmth and comfort for eternity once they perish on this plane of existence. It was her way of praying that when we go, we join that flame in death. It was a kind, simple prayer," Vim explained.
I sniffed again. "What is this church she spoke of?" I asked as I watched her walk behind the house. Although now out of sight I still watched the area, waiting to see if she'd return for some reason.
"Supposedly Light and her group had spent some time at some churches in the south of the Nation of the Blind. We spoke of them before, remember? Meriah wants to see if any of them are still there."
"Right… but why?"
"You know why Renn. Meriah now sees them as enemies of the Society. So she'll treat them as such, regretfully," Vim said with a sigh.
"Why regretfully Vim… if that's what they are, then shouldn't we treat them as so?" I asked, finally taking my eyes away from the village and where Meriah had gone. I glared at Vim, waiting to hear his answer.
He held my glare for a moment with his calm look, and then slowly nodded. "You're right. We should. But only if they really are enemies, Renn. We do not know the whole story yet. Until I do, until we do, we cannot place blame or hold judgment. We must be impartial until the defining moment," he said.
"Is that your rules or the Society's?" I asked.
He blinked and smiled. "Funny. The old me would have said the Society's."
"And the you here and now…?" I asked softly.
Vim eye's softened a little. "Careful Renn. We've talked long and hard of my rules. Each one exists thanks to mountains of corpses. They did not come easily, or cheaply. I abide them for good reason," he said.
"I was not asking your rules, Vim. I know you better than that. You can obey your rules while believing in another perspective. To do one thing while wanting to do another. I'm asking of your feelings Vim, not what you will do or what your rules demand of you," I said.
Some snow flew past, in large numbers, telling me the snow was picking up. I watched as dozens of tiny snowflakes hit Vim in the side of his face, some melting into his hair and others sticking to him and staying in shape.
He then sighed. "Had I been unbound by my rules, or others, I would have gone to Telmik the moment I had been told of their potential betrayal. And before you ask, yes, I would have forced a confession out of them. And if that confession proved Meriah's claim, then I would slaughtered them all without any hesitation."
I gulped, since although he had spoken calmly without any malice… I had still heard and seen the fury he spoke of. I saw it in the way his eyes had gone cold. And the way his voice, although gentle and soft, had gained a slight hardness to it. His words had ended a little sharper than usual, as if he was about to snarl.
"Yet as odd as it may sound… I'm glad I am not that man anymore. I'm glad I'm no longer controlled by emotions. For if I had been who knows how many innocent souls would have been lost during my hasty judgment. I killed an innocent man, a father minding his own business, just from shifting my weight upon hearing the news, Renn. What chaos would I have wrought during such a moment in Telmik? In the Cathedral?" he shook his head slowly as he spoke, and released another sigh. One that had been strong enough to make some snowflakes dance around in the air between us.
Oddly, although it should have in my opinion, his breath hadn't gone white. Even though mine did occasionally when I spoke.
It was weird how in such little ways as that he seemed to be ignored by the world around him. It was so subtle sometimes you'd never notice if you didn't pay attention.
"I'm also glad you're not careless Vim… but I just wish you were able to find a middle-ground between your chaotic self and your strict rules," I said.
"Then find it for me, Renn."
"H-huh?" I startled, standing up a little straighter.
He nodded at me. "Find me that middle ground you speak of. Find me a position that allows me to do more good, to help more than not, while also keeping the chaos and discord my knowledge and strength can cause when mishandled. Find what no one else has been able to, not Miss Beak, not Celine… not even my parents," he said.
My mouth went dry at the sudden suggestion, and my mind began to sluggishly slog through all my memories. Mostly of our conversations in the past, concerning his rules and all the issues I had with them. There were many. His and my differences in opinion, for better and worse, was a common topic between us. Though it was only recently Vim has actually opened up about them, and allowed said conversations to survive more than a few sentences.
Yet… as troubling the topic was…
"I don't know how Vim," I whispered admittedly.
I wanted him to be better. So many of us did.
But I honestly didn't have an answer for it.
"I know. But I believe if anyone can find one… it'll be you. So go ahead. Spend time thinking about it. If you can do it before I officially step down, and it actually works, I'll rescind my decision and stay as the protector," he said as he nodded and stepped past me. To return to walking, finally.
I gaped a little, shocked at his sudden declaration, and closed my mouth when a bunch of cold snow flew into it.
Licking my lips I hurriedly turned and joined him, heading out of the village proper and heading for the nearby forests. "You're serious?" I asked.
"I am."
Great.
"Even if I find one, that doesn't mean the rest of the Society will accept it," I argued, trying not to feel the great burden suddenly placed on my shoulders.
"That's on them. We'll deal with that part of it later," he said.
"What if you don't agree with my decision?" I asked further.
"I will. I agreed to Celine's, even though I hadn't liked it, remember?" he said.
Oh. Right.
My heart fluttered a little, kind of like how my ears did, and it made me feel weird for a moment.
He was basically saying he wanted me to make a new contract for him. For him and the Society.
To replace the one Celine had made for him.
One that was better suited. One that would make the Society happy, while also keeping him happy too. Or at least, keep him from feeling like an absolute failure or from feeling like the Society wasn't worth his dedication.
He wasn't just asking me to help him re-shape his rules… he was asking me to…
Fix the problem.
Gulping a heavy heart, I wished my tail and ears weren't hidden away. They wanted to squirm and flutter like mad, and my heavy winter clothing wasn't really accommodating for that.
Did that mean he was just giving me the opportunity to…? Or was he actually hoping I could figure it out? Or did he himself already know of a solution, and was just giving me a chance to find it for myself? As to claim it was I who figured it out?
I did not believe Vim, even as nonchalant as he was about some things, would have suggested something so seriously without real meaning. That had not been an off-handed comment or promise. It was one I knew he'd fulfill as long as I upheld my end of the bargain. Vim kept his word, his promises, even if it sometimes took… time for him to do so.
"How… how did you and Celine reach your agreement, Vim?" I asked carefully as my mind twisted and turned every which way. Trying to make sense of my new task.
"Over years. I agreed to protect the Society, and all members, from physical harm for a few years until she and I formed a real agreement. Back then I felt so annoyed I almost walked away dozens of times, out of pure disgust and annoyance… and I think honestly that might be why I had agreed to certain rules I'd not have agreed to usually. I think I had simply grown tired of debating it," he said.
Great. "So there's a chance you'll not agree to what I propose anyway, since there might be things that go against your own beliefs," I said worriedly.
"Possibly. But that's your job to figure out. Personally I still think I should step down, even if Light and the rest are doing such despicable acts such as slaughtering our own people. I'll deal with them, deal with the vote, and then step down. All things end, may as well end it here and now before it gets worse and I end up ending it in a cruel way," Vim said with a sigh.
My stomach suddenly hurt as I realized that he really had given up.
He was not just tired of the Society and its bickering… he was now afraid. Afraid that, like this issue with Light, he'd have to end up being the one to actually destroy the Society. By his own hands.
And now I couldn't argue against it, since I could now see how it could happen.
If Vim really did end up having to punish Light and the rest… that meant he would likely end up destroying the Cathedral, and maybe even severely cripple the Church of Songs as a whole.
And that alone might bring down the Society. Since so many relied upon the Cathedral. It was where money, information, communications and so much more filtered throughout the Society. In theory Lumen might be able to take up the mantle, but there were many people and locations that were outright at odds with those in Lumen. Half of the members in Lumen couldn't even go to the Bell Church for crying out loud, which was why we had gone to the Clothed Woman when in need back during that chaos with those monsters and sewer people.
More than half the Society clung to the church too, being either utter subscribers to the religion or devotees to it, so making them our enemy wouldn't be a good move either.
"Basically you're giving me the chance to try, but you don't believe it will matter in the end, do you?" I asked plainly as we neared the forest.
"Indeed. But I'll do my best to help and support your endeavors anyway, Renn. As always," he said.
I sighed at him, but nodded.
Although his true belief had been said… I still didn't feel less pressured.
I'd find a way. Somehow.
Vim was giving me a chance at least, which was more than he was willing to give others at the moment.
And if I couldn't figure it out… maybe I could, together with the help of him and others, find a way all the same.
"Think hard and fast Renn. We'll be in Telmik in less than ten days or so. And I can't promise what will happen then," Vim warned.
"You should have said something sooner, Vim. To give me more time," I complained.
"Ah… but then I'd not get to see you so flustered," he teased.
"Careful. Kaley was kind enough to give me more than a few ideas on how to make you flustered in return," I warned.
He smirked and reached over, taking my hand. For a tiny moment I debated not accepting, but that moment came and went without thought. "Why, Renn. You think that's a threat, don't you? Adorable."
My face grew so hot the cut and ointment suddenly felt as cold as ice.
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