It's dark out when I finally open my eyes and return to the physical world. The cave is only illuminated by the car headlights, and Lucas' light. Everyone else is still awake, sitting together against the back of the cave.

Vince has traded out Ivy's dirty clothes he was wearing for a fresh set of spare clothes he must have found in the car's supplies.

Ivy is lying down on the floor, resting her head in Vince's lap. The entire side of her body has been encased in a makeshift cast. Long, straight steel we had in our car immobilizes everything between her shin and halfway up her torso, all tightly held in place with bandages.

Lance, Robin, and Nimda are sitting at the entrance of the cave, keeping an eye out over the barren desert. Clover is slumped over, dead to the world and cradling the small black box we got back.

"Morning Little Blue." Vince is the first to realize I'm conscious, and immediately stops his conversation when he does. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, but not quite good. I'm good enough to heal on my own though." I stand up and head over to Cassie, sitting beside her. At least moving is far easier now. "Why are you still up?"

"I'm not really excited to sleep." He says regretfully.

Ivy immediately reaches for her tablet, but Vince speaks up for her.

"Alright, sorry, but I think Ivy's going to explode if we don't tackle you two." He says.

Ivy gives him a smile, and lets her tablet rest on her chest.

"You couldn't sleep for just a few more hours?" Cassie whispers to me. "Alright, let's get this over with."

I reach over and take her hand, squeezing it tight. She squeezes back as hard as she can, and her foot begins to tap against the stone floor.

"Yeah, we ended up, you know. Don't make a big deal about it." She's trying so hard to be casual, and I think every single one of us knows it's a mask.

A smile makes its way onto Ivy's face, and she just lets her eyes close, leaning back into Vince further.

"Don't worry, I won't." Vince reassures us. "I'm just happy you were there for each other."

"It's not you I'm worried about."

Ivy's smile only grows larger, but she doesn't react otherwise.

"I'll make sure she doesn't either." Vince reassures us.

Kara's eyes peer at me from the dark crevices of the cave. She doesn't even need to say anything, I already know she's right. I guess now's the time to do it.

"Hey. Do you mind if I change the subject?" I ask.

"I'd love nothing more." Cassie says quickly.

"Ok." I think I'd rather she say no, but it's fine. "Ivy, can I see the tablet?" She hands it to me without any hesitation. "Thank you. I had some therapy while we were at the city. It was a requirement to stay, actually."

"Oh that's great Little Blue!" Happiness and relief both spread across Vince and Ivy's faces.

"Yeah. She helped me realize I was keeping a secret from you, and my family is going to make sure you find out. Here. That's the short version that my therapist edited down, but I never actually read it. There's a longer version I wrote if you need more." I pull up the condensed letter E-1 wrote and hand it to the both of them. I grab Corax, hold him against my chest, and bury my face in him, cutting myself off from the rest of the world.

Cassie places a comforting arm across my shoulder and pulls me into her.

"It's going to be alright." Cassie whispers to me.

I can only give a small nod, not daring to raise my eyes.

Every millisecond I spend waiting stretches into eternity. Any single one could be the last moment they still like me. Heat begins to build up from my racing mind. I have to cull everything. I can't stop them from reading, I just have to trust.

A second passes, and I lean further into Cassie. She understands. She'll protect me. I just have to wait.

Minutes pass before anything happens. A hand lands on my head, gently rubbing my hair.

"Hey Little Blue." Vince says softly. "You've been carrying this the whole time?"

I don't respond.

"You're alright." He reassures me. "I would have done the same thing."

"I don't think any decision you could have made could have stopped this." Ivy's voice comes from the tablet only a moment later.

"You're just saying that." I mumble into Corax, only to receive a bite in response.

"Little Blue, have I ever lied to you?" Vince asks.

"I don't think so." I don't want to go through my memories to find out. There's too much there.

"I don't intend to start now. You're alright."

"But I killed so many." I say quietly. "Everyone."

"Did you pull the trigger?" He asks. "Did you give the order?"

"I might as well have."

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"That's not what I asked." His voice is gentle, reassuring.

"No." I say quietly.

"Then you didn't kill anyone. You didn't want it to happen. You weren't involved in the decision. You fought against it with everything you had."

There's only one important question. One question, and if the result is what I fear it is, will break me.

"You don't hate me?" I ask.

"Now why would I do that, Little Blue?" He rubs the top of my head once again. "No, I don't. I don't feel any different about you than I did a minute ago."

"Would you if it was my fault?"

"Well, I can't say I hold much love for whoever actually did this." He admits. "But whoever it is, it's not you."

I don't have a response to that. I just stay quiet and unmoving, letting Cassie and Vince comfort me. Their words wash over me, although my mind doesn't process anything. I feel their emotions regardless, their comfort, their love, their forgiveness.

"Sorry." I say after a few minutes, finally reaching up to wipe away my tears. Corax remains in my arms, despite me loosening my grip on him. "Thank you."

"You're alright Little Blue." He says. "From the little Cassie has told us about you three's journey, it sounds like things weren't easy for you. Anything else weighing on you? It'll feel better once you get it out."

"I don't know. I don't want to remember anything right now." I say. "It'll be easier when we get to the city."

"Alright, sounds like a plan."

"Sorry I made everyone-"

"Don't even start." Cassie interrupts. "Another week of planning wouldn't have made this shitshow go any better. You're not the reason all this happened."

"Ok." I guess she can read my mind too. I let my head drift to the side, resting on her shoulder. "Sorry I made this all about me."

"You didn't." She pulls me a little closer. "Now stop apologizing for things that you didn't do."

"Ok. Do either of you want to share anything?" I ask.

"Not for a good while, Little Blue." He says. "I need a long retirement first."

"Nope." Ivy's tablet says a moment later.

"Ok. Sorr- fuck, sorry." Focus. I need to get a grip on my mind. Acknowledge, rationalize, dismiss. This isn't my fault. Even if I don't believe that, Corax, Cassie, Vince, and Ivy definitely do. I can trust them.

"Oh you have rubbed off on each other." Ivy types out and then gently pushes Cassie, rocking both of us a small amount. I don't think she meant to do it that gently, I think it's just all the force she can summon right now.

"Oh my god!" Cassie explains loudly enough for Lance to glance back at us. "She dropped a 'fuck' for emphasis, and it was the funniest thing she's ever said."

"I'm sorry I missed it." Vince tries to hide his true regret under a fake facade.

"I can do it again."

"No, no." Vince waves a hand at me vaguely. "Don't force anything."

"Alright." Silence settles over all of us for just a moment, and my eyes are drawn back to our old car. "Is Clover alright?"

"Fine." Corax reassures me, but it does little to settle the worry in my mind.

"She hasn't moved since we parked." Cassie says. "Lance says she'll be fine, but I don't know."

"I hope we didn't push her too far."

"Yeah." She agrees.

"Does she do this often?" Vince asks.

"Yeah, a lot. At first she struggled to be conscious for more than a few seconds." I explain. "She improved quickly though. We did drills for an hour a couple days ago, and she was out for an entire twenty four hour period. I'm sure today was harder on her than that."

"Sounds like she just needs time then." Vince says, and Ivy gives a small nod in agreement. "Alright. I'm going to try to get some sleep. Mind helping us into the car you two?"

"Sure." I stand up, quickly followed by Cassie. "Who's going to be easier for you to move?"

"Vince, easily." She scoots down, wraps her arm around Vince's torso, and easily helps him up. Vince tries to stay on his feet, but Cassie does most of the work to get him into the back seat of his car.

"How much do you weigh?"

"That's a dangerous question to ask a woman." Ivy types, barely able to contain her laughter.

"Right, sure." I crouch down, max out the torque on my joints, and stand up incredibly slowly. It's just possible to pick her up, barely able to move an inch per second. She's just so tall, and there's so much leverage from her splinted leg.

"How did Cassie carry you?" I ask. "She struggled to pick me up."

Ivy's face lights up, her eyes shining, silently asking me to tell.

"I'll tell you in the morning." I carefully place her in the back seat, and she shuffles inside. Ivy has to lay across the entire back row because of her splint, and she ends up resting her head in Vince's lap.

"I should probably grab some shut-eye too." Cassie climbs into the driver's seat and reclines the seat as far as it will go.

"Alright, does anyone need anything?"

"We should be alright, thank you Little Blue." Vince reclines his seat as well, looking lost without his hat to place over his eyes.

"Alright. I'll be with everyone else tonight, just yell if you need anything."

"Will do."

I step away from the car, having to leave the side door open to accommodate Ivy, and head towards the open mouth of the cave.

Our solar panels have been leaned up against the cave walls near the entrance. I'm glad we can use those, just another small assurance that we'll be able to get home.

"Have you seen anything?" I take a seat next to everyone, and Corax disappears into the night sky.

"No, nothing." Lance says. "You doing alright?"

"I just needed to fix myself a little bit. I'm ok. Also, Nimda, thank you for the practice. I managed to hold her back just long enough for Corax to get a door open."

"I saw. I'm glad my training was useful." She says.

"It's funny how much more efficient I've gotten with working with a shattered mind. The first time I lost consciousness during a hack, I was out for three days straight." I joke.

"I would suggest against making a habit of that. Your mind shuts down for a reason." Nimda says.

"It was forty years ago. I wouldn't call it a habit."

"Good."

"So," I need to change the subject before they get the chance to ask more. I'm not prepared to deal with wherever that will lead. "What are the chances that someone attacks us?"

"From Mara's trench? Zero." Nimda says definitively. "Every entrance and exit was controlled by Mara and Mara alone."

"So everyone is stuck in there?" I don't want to be happy about that, I'm sure there were at least a few good people who lived there. But after what they did to Vince and Ivy? I can't be sad either.

"Humans are tenacious. I'm sure someone will find a way out eventually, but it will take days."

"That doesn't mean we can let our guard down, however." Lance says. "We didn't come this far just to get sloppy now."

"Yeah. If someone does attack, however, it might fall to just you two and Cassie to protect us. I'm not sure my mind can handle another fight." Not just because of the damage either. Just the thought of fighting again already plants the seeds of fear in my mind.

"And we will." Robin reassures me. "We already have plans in place."

"Alright, good."

"If you don't mind me asking, why aren't you with your family?" Lance asks.

"They're going to sleep now, and I don't handle being alone well. Plus, I just wanted to come watch the stars for a little bit while Corax gets the chance to fly."

I watch in silence as the comforting sight of stars winking in and out of existence. A black streak shoots across the distant moon, and a sudden rush of wind flies by just over our head.

Despite everything that has happened, a large smile spreads across my face.

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