Humanity's #1 Fan

108: Just Think of Earth but With More Craters


Hours later, Ashtoreth and Dazel warped in above the moonlit city, then drifted downward to find Kylie.

She'd spent her day taking out more bastions and closing even more rifts. Things with the military were tense, but they either they weren't opposed to using her as an asset or they knew she'd simply say no to them if they asked her to refrain from fighting. She'd said as much, after all.

Dazel had helped Kylie replace some of her spells with defenses that would trigger if Ashtoreth was suddenly ambushed by human assassins, and they were going to refresh them before bedtime.

She found Kylie sitting on the edge of the city's tallest building, a humongous tower that was shaped a little bit like a twizzler. The necromancer was looking down at the city below them.

"Any reason you wanted to do this here?" Ashtoreth said, floating down to join her.

Kylie shrugged. "I dunno. They got some of their lights back on already, and I always wanted to travel, I guess." She turned to look at Ashtoreth. "Ready for bed?"

"Uh-huh!" Ashtoreth said. "You taking a break?"

"No," Kylie said, staring down at the city.

"Oh."

"I'm always working," said Kylie. "I'm a necromancer." She raised her hands to indicate the world around her, stretching her legs out over the edge of the building. "This is what it looks like when I play my class."

"Fair enough."

"I've got minions farming in every city right now," Kylie said. "I'm global. Like amazon, except instead of a cardboard box on your doorstep you get a shade that pops through your bathroom mirror and mauls the shit out of you with [Energy Drain]."

"Yeah, okay, fair enough."

"Damn straight," said Kylie. "I hear things haven't been going too well with you and High Command."

"Nope!"

"You're not worried at all about the humans attacking you?" Kylie asked.

"Eh. Sort of," Ashtoreth said. "You have to learn to live with expecting these sorts of things to be an archfiend."

"Frost said you're still going to sleep in the headquarters."

"'Course!"

"They're still letting you in?"

"There's too many broken windows to keep me out." Ashtoreth smiled. "It's like the apocalypse means that there's fewer barriers between people!"

"Straining to see the upside as always, I see," said Kylie. "I suppose it's understandable that they don't want you being the Monarch, but it'll suck if they try to kill you."

"Yeah," Ashtoreth said. "But I get it."

"If you win, the Monarch won't be allegiant to any one country," said Kylie. "No single government will be able to dominate the fate of the world as we move into the future."

"It sucks, I know," said Ashtoreth. "But it's safest for Earth if we do it this way"

Kylie frowned and peered at her. "You know what? I'm not going to argue."

"What?"

"I said I'm not going to argue."

"Argue about what?"

"Nevermind."

Ashtoreth shrugged. "We'll talk about something else, then. How was your day?"

"I dunno," said Kylie. "It was nice to save people for a while, even if it was hard to earn trust, sometimes. Nobody mistook me for a guardian angel even once." She shrugged. "I don't get it. I look trustworthy. I sound trustworthy. But I think people just don't want to warm to somebody handing out pamphlets."

"If you really wanted people to warm to you better, you could change into a suit," said Ashtoreth. "Humans love suits. You could even get a laid-back tie with a funny design on it."

"Nah, I like putting people off," said Kylie. "Plus I don't think it would work. The only real way to get people to trust me quickly is to show them that I could easily destroy them if I wanted."

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense," said Ashtoreth.

"Speaking of," Kylie said. "What happens when other people start getting as strong as we are now? That nova you unleashed could burn away a city center. What's Earth going to look like when tens of thousands of people can throw nukes the way you can?"

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

Ashtoreth shrugged. "Uh. I dunno. Say, which side of the moon is the one with all the craters?"

"That's not a reassuring answer."

"Magical anime feudalism, then? That's probably more accurate."

"Okay, at this point I regret asking."

"That reminds me," said Ashtoreth. "I should probably level up more. I kept some cores leftover in case I needed them."

"You kept some?" Kylie asked. "Instead of giving them out like we planned?"

"Yeah. You didn't?"

"Okay sure, I did," said Kylie. "But where's your unshakeable faith in humanity?"

"I don't want to be underleveled in case of human assassins," said Ashtoreth. "And I don't know what you mean about unshakeable faith. The fact that I think humans are capable of killing me off despite the fact that I'm helping them just goes to show how calculating and morally versatile they can be."

Kylie laughed. "Wow, Ashtoreth. Did you talk to Frost about this any more? Last time I spoke to him, he was mad at you."

"Yup!" Ashtoreth said. "We talked about it for a while, but he stayed mad when I had no regrets and insisted on changing nothing."

Kylie scoffed. "I can't tell if he just thinks you're stupid, or if he thinks your stupid and he's worried sick about you."

Ashtoreth shrugged. "Gosh, I hope it's the latter."

"You hope he's worried that you'll die?"

"I just hope he values my life,' she said.

"Of course he does," Kylie muttered, looking away and shifting.

"Something wrong?"

Kylie sighed. "It's bedtime for us humans," she said. "Hunter's with his people right now. His family, I mean. Frost is away seeing some of the people he knew, too, but I don't know if they're just cops or if he went to find his parents or something. And I'm just… sitting up here. No people to spend time with."

"I'll be your people, Kylie!" Ashtoreth said.

Kylie let out a sad laugh. "Sure, Ashtoreth." She sighed again. "Actually, can we talk?"

"Uh-huh!"

Kylie looked down at Dazel. "Privately?"

Dazel rose and stretched his wings. "Yeah, I guess I can go."

"Thanks!" Ashtoreth said, tossing him off the side of the building.

Dazel let out a yelp as Kylie burst out laughing. Real mature, boss.

I'm cheering her up, she said. Now see if you can find me some Chinese food or something.

Yeah, whatever. Call me when you two are done.

"So," Ashtoreth said as Dazel became a speck below them, then disappeared. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I used to be afraid of heights," said Kylie. "Then the world ended, and I met you. Everything's been so strange since then…."

"But hopefully a good kind of strange, right?" Ashtoreth asked.

Kylie stood, seemingly ignoring her. "How easy it would be to just…" she stood, then spread her arms and fell forward off the side of the building. Instead of dropping, though, she turned over once and then spun to flash Ashtoreth a rare smile.

"Could you fly when you were a kid?" she asked.

"Nope!" Ashtoreth said, stepping off the roof to follow her into the air. "I was classless for my whole childhood, remember? We got potions or had spells cast on us to let us fly when we were good."

"I feel like your childhood was really messed up, Ashtoreth."

"Definitely!" she said. "Especially by human standards. But there's worse lives to live."

They were circling each other in the air, now, the light only occasionally playing across Kylie's face.

"Can I tell you something?" she asked.

"Uh-huh!"

Kylie looked down at the streets below them. "I didn't kill myself."

"Oh. Okay."

"Or I did," Kylie said with a shrug. "Just not on purpose. I got out of rehab and I fell off immediately. I used too much, that's all. I acted like I still had a tolerance, and I guess…"

She looked back up, her glowing blue eyes as haunted as Ashtoreth had ever seen them. "Apparently I died," she said. "I actually died…."

"Well, only sort of actually," Ashtoreth. "Technically—"

"I know," Kylie said. "I get it. The thing is… my parents are perfect, you know? Raised me well, supported me the entire time… they did everything right. Everything, Ashtoreth. You can't possibly imagine how nice my childhood was." She closed her eyes. "And I took their bright-eyed little girl and I destroyed her." She shook her head, her face a mask of horror as her voice became a whisper. "It was me. I killed their baby…."

Ashtoreth just stared at Kylie, desperately trying to think of what to say. But she was bad at this sort of thing. "Can I give you a hug?" she asked at last.

"I sent a shade to look after my parents," Kylie said, ignoring her. "But I haven't talked to them yet. They don't even know where I am."

Ashtoreth floated forward and slowly brought Kylie into an embrace. The other woman didn't resist, and soon Ashtoreth had folded her wings around her while Kylie just floated there, not reacting to any of it.

"Shouldn't I be crying right now, or something?" Kylie asked. "Shouldn't I feel worse than I already do?"

"I dunno," Ashtoreth said. "You seem to feel pretty bad already."

"Not bad enough," Kylie said, her voice wavering.

"How bad would your parents want you to feel?"

Kylie sobbed.

"Do you want me to come with you to go see them?" Ashtoreth asked.

"I don't know," Kylie said. "No—no. It's fine." She pushed herself away from Ashtoreth, floating backward in the air. "I'll find them right after I cast some spells on you."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure," she said. "Trust me." She sighed, seeming to want to look everywhere but at Ashtoreth. "Thanks. You should probably call Dazel and we can get this done."

Ashtoreth shrugged. "Okay."

Humans were strange. Ashtoreth had apparently helped Kylie solve her problem without doing anything at all. No tricks, no strategies, just an unreciprocated hug.

If only things could be so easy with General Matthews.

If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know < report chapter > so we can fix it as soon as possible.


Use arrow keys (or A / D) to PREV/NEXT chapter