Well, that was the worst night's sleep ever. It certainly didn't help that Alice simply stood in a corner as though waiting for me to need anything, anything at all…

Which I guess is exactly what she was doing.

One of her clones whisked away my school uniform while I was in the bath, instead providing my usual nightgown that she'd somehow managed to acquire… I thought Alice said she couldn't leave the dungeon for long?

And the bath itself?

HUGE.

How does that even fit in whatever this place is?

Yeah, magic. I know.

I could probably fit a dozen people in here easily, but I doubt that many would be willing to take a bath in a dungeon with a terrifying boss standing right nearby, let alone sleep in one.

Well, maybe Joy. Maybe.

…

It's a weird feeling to just, stay in a dungeon like this and have it be remotely safe, even from other adventurers.

But thinking of weird feelings… Lyra isn't at all sure what to think of me not having returned last night.

"Yeah, sorry. More 'benefactor' stuff."

"You mean the d-demon empress?" she asks nervously.

I sigh. "Yeah, one and the same. I can just show you if you want, but I don't know if you'll want to. Tell you what, I'll just tell you for now. Apparently, that…"

I point at the slightly spinning purple hole in space, illusions momentarily dispelled.

"…Is a portal to some kind of portable dungeon thing, with a scary but helpful maid running it. She really wants me to just live there I think, entirely because the demon empress said to… oh, and the maid is apparently one of her personal maids. No, before you ask, I have no idea why. It seems kind of like ridiculous overkill to send a nobody like me a monster like that."

…

She just stares at me for a moment, as though she's even less comfortable knowing the portal is there now…

"Oh, and since it's a dungeon apparently, Alice – that's the maid – is the final boss."

…

…

After another moment, she surprises me with an exasperated sigh. "I… shouldn't even be surprised anymore, should I?"

I think she might have finally wrapped around from fear into resignation? Maybe?

"Huh, okay. Well… I'm probably going to be living there for now, Alice seems pretty adamant about that and she's, um. She's really scary, and I mean really scary."

"You already said that."

"Well yeah," I reply, "but it's so true I have to say it again. But, um. I think the demon empress also told her to do what I say? I'm not sure how much of that is gonna be a monkey's paw though. Hmmm actually hang on a moment…"

Lyra looks on half concerned and half afraid as I turn and stride through the portal again…

To once again be greeted with a swift, "Welcome home, young miss." And of course, my entire almost-all-illusory maid corps curtseys crisply in a perfect formation.

"Yeah, hi again. Uh, Alice. So, what exactly is going to happen if I bring someone else here?"

And there's that predatory smirk again, tugging at the edge of her mouth even though I can tell she's struggling to conceal it. "I will, of course, defend the young miss from all intruders, as was her Her Highness' command."

That's what I was afraid of.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

"Well, we're not going to do that, okay? If I bring someone here intentionally I want you to leave them be. You don't need to treat them like me or anything, but uh. At least don't kill them, alright?"

I suppose this is a bigger test than anything else I could give her at the moment… the terrifying monster maid has been instructed both to defend me to the death, and also to follow my commands. And how she interpreted the first? She absolutely intended to kill anyone who entered this space that isn't me, and mostly likely in the worst possible way.

Considering she's… like me, I guess – a gorgon derivative – she might just petrify them and put them along the wall or in one of the other rooms I haven't explored as gruesome decorations.

…

I wonder if this space can be modified to have an entry hallway with them along the sides as–

WAIT, WHAT AM I THINKING!?

I shake my head in a futile attempt to clear it of those thoughts before saying, "Alright, so I'm probably going to bring someone here in a minute, do not hurt her. Okay?"

"As you command, young miss."

I don't miss the distant sense of disappointment in her voice, but she'll have to get over it. Besides, I can somehow tell there are going to be other visitors I won't mind her eviscerating.

…

That's certainly a thought of some kind, specifically the kind I'm not going to think about right now!

And so I turn and head back through the portal.

"It should be safe now."

I… genuinely didn't expect my dormmate to trust me, but she actually follows me back through the portal, into the maw of possible grisly death. And although she definitely shivers for a moment in the presence of my terrifying household servant complete with curious snake hair, I'm surprised to see she stands where I originally tried to flee.

"Greetings, oh guest of the young miss. Will you be joining her for her evening meal?"

"I… Uh… Um…"

It's good to see Lyra waver at least a little bit at that point, I'd have seriously questioned my own courage otherwise.

"No, you're not the meal," I dismiss. "She has some kind of fancy monster steak from the demon queen. I'm assuming it's probably some kind of delicacy, knowing the source and how Alice here said earlier that it's one of the better options…"

"It is indeed, young miss. I also said that it is a personal favorite of Her Highness herself, as well as First Consort Artemis."

I nod. "Yeah, you sure did. Anyway, why don't we do that then? You're gonna stay, right Lyra?"

"Is it safe for, uh, 'normal' humans?" she asks cautiously.

"Of course it is," Alice retorts, clearly struggling to conceal her offense. Although only a little bit shows… it's clear she's put a lot of work into that. I wonder if she'd be aggressive and hostile if it weren't for the obvious yoke my patron has on her?

Seems likely.

We take our seats at the fine wooden table, the swirl of its rings clearly visible on the varnished top. Just how big of a tree was this made from? As much as the house… manor, I guess? It's way too fancy to be a simple house… Anyway, as much as it seems to be trying to be subdued, the decadence is still pretty obvious.

And the original of my personal maid continues to stand behind me and to the side, although her presence seems to have diminished somewhat. I assume it's some kind of stealth Skill or something? Yeah, probably.

It's only a matter of moments before one of the clones saunters demurely to the table to provide not only silverware but what is clearly the finest dishware I've ever seen, complete with matching porcelain… cloches? Is that the word?

…Which are promptly removed to reveal a pair of thick steaks lightly charred to perfection with the faintest hit of blood around the edges, alongside some kind of roasted and seasoned leafy stalked vegetables. An earthy smell accompanies the rest, seemingly from the light sauce drizzled across the steak… at first glance it doesn't seem like they'd go together well.

…

From the first bite, I'm proven profoundly wrong.

…

…

…

This is literally the best meal I've ever eaten.

…

And it's gone in a flash too, something Alice hasn't missed a bit from her once again barely hidden smug smile as she deftly retrieves our dishware from the table, replacing it with a smaller set containing what is definitely a pair of some kind of dessert thing. They look like some kind of layered cake or pastry with white glaze on top, cut through with V shapes in a brown glaze.

…

Which are similarly delicious.

…

…

"Amazing," I can't help but mutter.

"Of course they are," my maid retorts. "The order of this meal was arranged by First Consort Artemis herself, who once served as handmaid to Her Highness. Never doubt the height of your station, for even the lowest can rise."

My dormmate cuts in. "Really? Is that true? I don't remember reading about anything like that… or about Nemesis and Artemis having a relationship… or anything about Nemesis at all now that I think of it."

Alice chuckles. "You have read of the Great Destroyer, yes? The ravages wrought long ago to the cities of the planes, leaving none alive? The rampage of the Wild Hunt, shattering the heavens and hells? They are one and the same; the former was Her Highness alone, acting in rage and grief for the loss of love. The latter, First Consort Artemis and Her Highness acting in harmony."

I don't miss the pride dripping from her tone.

…

I also don't miss the sudden arrival of an unexpected 'guest'.

"Aw shit, did I miss dinner?"

"You did indeed, young master. It comes as no surprise, as punctuality has never been your strong suit."

Joy slaps the flat of his blade up against the table and pulls up a seat. "Hi Sadie. And you must be… uhhhh hmmmmm, wait, Lyra was it? I think that was it…"

"Yeah," she answers, blinking. "That's me."

"WAIT!" I splutter, "why the hells are you here? And what's that about 'young master'!? Alice?"

The furry tank answers before the maid has a chance.

"Didn't I tell you before? Wait, no I didn't! Haha, sorry."

"Tell me what?"

"Well… so. It's a funny story, but don't be weird about it, okay? So um, my parents?"

…

"They're Nemesis and Artemis. I'm, uh. Sort of a prince I guess, maybe, in a way."

Oh.

…

And all I can think of saying is, "Oh."

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