Since I'm still not able to walk by myself, Hildi has to pick me up again after we're done changing and carries me outside the bath where Pavel is waiting.
"Oh, Pavel, I have a question for you."
"What is it?"
"Do you count as a conduit? You know, for talking to the queen."
"No, but I can get you one. Why? Do you want to talk to the queen?"
"Well, I've been kind of dying for the last two months and she seemed very nice, so I just wanted to tell her I'm fine again and some other stuff."
"Hmm…Fine, I'll get you a conduit but I can't promise that the Queen will give you an audience. She is a very busy woman."
He then disappears and reappears so fast I would have missed it if I blinked and is now holding a white flower.
"Can you get me a little lower so I can pick up the flower, Hildi?"
"Sure."
I pick up the flower. Alright…What should I say to her? Maybe 'Dear majesty, I'd like to humbly request an audience with you'?
"Ohohoho, still so very humble, I see."
Kinda shocked and looking around the throne room I say, "Huh? That was quick…"
"Would you have preferred waiting a little longer?" The queen asks, lounging on her throne.
"Oh no, not at all. I just, I didn't think my lackluster request would be alright with you."
"Oh please, Samuel. We know each other already, no need to be so formal."
"Uhm…Okay if you're alright with that."
She looks like she's asking about her favorite soap opera when she asks, "Yes, yes. Now, do tell me what brings you here? Have you finally gained some greater ambitions? Have the flames of greed ignited and you wish for more!? I'm quite excited to know why you're here."
"Uhm…No, not really. I just thought you might have been concerned about my health so I wanted to tell you that I'm doing better."
"Puh! That's old news, Pavel has practically told me about every breath you have taken since you so heroically sacrificed yourself for some peasant boy. Though I do have to say, you really are quite the interesting individual. You leave my realm after I explicitly told you that those pure of heart don't live long and you took it as a challenge to attempt to valiantly become a martyr before Pavel could even get to know you. And yet I congratulate you! You managed to make Pavel care about you within the span of a day and you've kept me immensely entertained with this…this…Soap opera I believe you call it. So, what do you wish for? Greater powers? Money? Knowledge? I'm so very excited to find out!"
"Uhm, actually I was going to ask you if you want to take my soul seeing eyes back?"
Leaning forward in her seat with a shocked look, she asks, "Huh? I believe I'm starting to grow deaf in my old years, what did you say?"
"I wanted to ask if you want your eyes back. I don't really need them anymore."
"Wh-What!? How did you come to that conclusion!?"
"Well, you were right. My greatest desire is to be loved and through you I was able to find someone that truly loves me and you even helped me get rid of my insecurities thanks to these eyes. So, now that I don't need them anymore, I want to give them back to you."
As if her brain had short circuited, the queen looks at me with her mouth wide open. Looking around while she does, it also seems like I've grown larger thanks to my mana increasing. Things aren't quite as big as they were the first time but my glass body seems to be cracked in a lot of places.
The queen then puts her hand over her forehead and starts laughing, "Ohohohoho….OHOHOHOHO! I've hit the jackpot with you haven't I? You're definitely the most unique out of my first timers. As for your request, I refuse!"
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to! If I take back my boon to you that would be like accepting that I gave you a bad boon, which I did not! You barely even used it! They're called soul seeing eyes not love seeing eyes for a reason! I know that the pure of heart only want for the simple things in life but that doesn't mean you have to give back things I already gave you! Your mother practically begged me for a boon and now you come here, basically at your earliest possible convenience, and want to give yours up willingly!? I didn't even give you any task to earn yours!"
"Wait…You gave Hildi a boon? I thought she wasn't good at spirit magic."
"What are you talk-…I said too much again."
"Can you please explain?"
"Ohohohoho, look at the time I'm so very busy right now, good bye," the queen says as she flicks my forehead and brings me back to the real world.
Still in Hildis arms, I look at her and ask, "When did you meet the white queen?"
"What?"
"The white queen told me she gave you a boon, what is it?"
"I have not met nor have I been given a boon by the white queen. Are you sure she meant me?"
"Yeah, she said that my mother basically begged her for a boon."
"Perhaps she is talking about the woman that gave birth to you…Wait a moment…" Hildi suddenly grows wide eyed, "You told me that the one looking for you is a woman and that she wants to 'Take you in no matter the cost and never let you leave their sight again'. We interpreted it as a threat before but perhaps your real mother is looking for you and the white queen purposefully gave you information that's easy to misinterpret to entertain herself."
"That would sound like it would be in character for her… But it still doesn't make any sense. My mother is human and even if she were looking for me, which for the record I doubt she would, why were there guards looking for us saying something about high treason then?"
"I don't know. But there is a chance that if you take off the necklace and let yourself be found, you could reunite with your real mother."
I give Hildi a smile, "That's not true."
"What do you mean?"
"You're my real mother Hildi, so it's impossible I will reunite with my real mom if I get caught and taken away from you."
Looking conflicted, she answers, "I also see you as my real daughter Sammy but don't you think it would be nice both for your mother to know you're okay and for you to meet your mother?"
"Would she get custody over me if she found me?"
"Most likely…"
"Then I don't want to."
"Tiahaha, in a way I was hoping you'd say that... Yawn Say, how about we go back to bed and sleep a little more, it's the middle of the day."
"Oh yeah! That's right, I forgot you were sleeping when I woke up, let's go for a nap."
Hildi then carries me back up to the room I woke up in but instead of putting me in my bed, she drops me on hers and then lays down next to me.
"What are you doing, Hildi? That's not my bed."
"I know but I have been reading a lot of parenting books while you were unconscious and they mentioned how skinship is very important for bonding with your baby so, now that I don't have to be afraid of accidentally further injuring you, you're gonna sleep in bed with me!"
"I'm not a baby though" I say somewhat offended but looking at Hildis sad puppy dog eyes all I can do is sigh and say, "You know what, fine, but if I don't like it I'm going to change beds!"
Cuddling up to her...Feels nice. I...Surprisingly like it a lot and quickly fall asleep in her arms.
When I open my eyes again I'm in the cabin room that I sometimes go to.
"Shit, that can't be good. Did something happen again? Are we being psychically attacked or something?"
Looking around, nothing seems out of the ordinary. It's not cold, there are no ominous noises coming out of the radio and the fire is burning. The door seems fine as well, no one is knocking on it. As I walk around the room, nothing seems to happen.
"Well…This is anticlimactic…"
Moving towards the window I take a cautious look through the glass but there is nothing outside. It's just pitch-black.
"I guess I should just…Wait it out?"
Sitting myself down on the bed, I dangle my feet back and forth while waiting for something to happen.
"Now that I think about it, it's kind of weird that I can walk normally here…Though I guess this is technically a dream so maybe dream logic applies?"
Waiting another fifteen, maybe thirty minutes, I stand up.
"Alright, I'm too bored to do nothing. But what to do?"
Looking at the door, curiosity takes over as I walk towards it. Taking a deep breath, I try to open it…It seems to open just fine. Peeking through the opening, it seems like it's just as dark outside as the window shows. Carefully, I put my foot out to see if there is anything to stand on and…There actually is. Putting some more weight on it, it seems safe to step outside. Looking back one last time, still nothing changes, so I decide to fully step out into the dark but instantly fall over on what looks like a stone floor. I seem to be in some form of open hallway next to a garden. It looks like I'm in my soul form now so I can't stand up. Looking back, the door to my room is still there, so that's good at least. Alright…What do I do now? Let's assess the situation…I'm in what looks like a castle, I'm in my soul form, so I'm probably in some part of the white queen's castle. Although…My body does seem a bit different here now that I take a closer look. I'm still small, translucent and the pattern of starry sky and light blue is still there, so is ElBEEzabeth's mark on my hand, but rather than a foggy vaguely human shaped mass inside of cracked glass I seem more…Real? Like…I look more like an Elemental rather than a soul I guess. Well, I supposedly am part snow Elemental so maybe it's related to that? Or it could be some form of dream abstraction? Hmm…Either way if this is a dream or Elemental thing, I should be able to fly right? But how… It kind of looks like Elementals fly by relaxing their bodies, kind of like when you try to float in water. Yeah let's try that…Just imagine you're in water Sammy… Relaxing my body I actually do start to feel lighter and begin floating.
"Woah…It does kind of feel like swimming but how do I move?"
Floating mid air, I try to do some swimming motions but instead of moving forward I start spinning. Then, when I stop the swimming movement,…I'm still spinning.
"Uh oh…"
Come on Sammy…This is really disorienting you have to get this under control. Imagine you're a rock…Sink back to the ground… It's not working.
"Damn it! I can't keep spinning like this for who knows how long. Hildi, if you can hear me. Please wake me up!"
As I yell for Hildi, the castle goes dark. When I look at the sky, it looks like a starry blanket is blocking out the sun and from it…Something is descending. Like a black shadow clad moth, something vaguely human shaped is descending and landing in the garden.
"Uhm…Hildi, now's a good time to wake me up!"
It's on the ground now, it's a shadowy mothman shaped shadow with glowing red eyes. Uh oh…Our eyes just met. It doesn't move though, it almost seems…Stunned?
The thing then suddenly starts running at me.
"Okay scrap that. Hildi! Mommy!! Please wake me up mommy!!!"
Bracing for impact, the monster grabs me and holds me close to it.
"ʻO ka hope, ʻike wau iā ʻoe ʻo Eleanor. Ke ʻimi nei māua me kou makuakāne iā ʻoe a ʻaʻole māua e haʻalele." A woman's voice says to me.
I'm pretty sure that is the Fey language but why is it not being translated? Also what is this situation? It feels like I'm being hugged. What do I do now? I don't speak Fey and I'm in my weak soul-ish form. I can't even move away from her shoulder. Maybe she can understand me at least? I mean it's worth a shot…
"Uhm, hello. If you can understand me, can you like, put me down and wave?"
She then holds me out in front of her and tilts her head.
"ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu kāu mea e ʻōlelo mai nei."
Yeah…That didn't seem to work. Hmm…Seeing as this is probably the white queens domain, what if I turn on my soul seeing eyes? Activate!
The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement. There seems to be genuine shock coming from the person in front of me as her eyes widen and she takes a step back… But wait, why is her soul pink? I don't even have the time to ponder that as suddenly her shadowy form starts leaking out into the world, widening and engulfing everything inside. The plants in the garden die and there are cracking noises heard as the walls start to crumble in front of my eyes. Damn, I fucked up! Deactivate! I need to get to the door and close it as quickly as possible.
With all my might, I try to wiggle my body around and even kick at her, even though my legs are too short to actually connect. It seems to be working since her grip slowly loosens but right as I'm about to wiggle out, the tremors stop and the shadows retreat back to her. She then puts me close to her again and starts singing while petting my back. I have no idea what she's singing about but her voice still sounds calming. She then carries me towards my door.
Alright perfect, once she goes through and I get back to normal, she'll drop me and I can push her out and close the door. Alright a few more steps and we're through…Come on! As I'm being carried over the threshold, my body suddenly goes back to normal, causing me to get dropped just like I planned. I then use this moment of surprise and push her!
But instead of actually getting her out of the room, my force gets completely absorbed by the black fog coating around her, making me stand in front of her with my hands stuck in her belly smoke. She then tilts her head and tries to grab my face but I manage to pull myself out of the smoke before she can take a hold of me and run across the room behind the bed.
She doesn't really seem faced though and just slowly walks towards me. Somewhat desperate, I throw pillows at her but they obviously just bounce off her without stopping her.
Calm down Sammy…You need to use that goo power…You did it before.
Getting closer, the woman now walks by the radio.
Alright…Just like last time…You can do it…It always activates when I'm afraid or something is taking me over so maybe I'm not afraid enough. I just need to remember the red cap…No if I want to beat her I need to close my eyes and imagine…
"Need to imagine who, Princess? Zehahahaha"
Alright now that I'm imagining him I just nee-
"Ugh!"
Opening my eyes I feel my throat being crushed as Boss physically stands before me in the room.
"Wha- How-You- You"
"Oh I'm as real as you in this wonderful little world you created here. Oh and you there Lady, better not move if you don't want the little pri-"
Before Boss can even finish his sentence, black moths surround him and when they land, chunks of him disappear, making him look like swiss cheese, until within a second, he is completely gone.
Once he finally lets go of me, I fall to the ground, coughing and reeling. I also seem to subconsciously have activated the black goo on my arm but when I try to reach it out at the shadow lady it's already too late as she kneels down in front of me and…Pets my head? She then picks me up, puts me to bed and leaves after leaving one of her moths in my room.
"Good evening Sammy…It's time to wake up."
Confused and slightly scared, I open my eyes, I'm in Hildis arms on the bed I went to sleep in.
"Is something the matter Sammy? You don't look too well."
"I…I think I had a nightmare but I'm not sure."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I…I don't know. Maybe later. I'm still a little shaken up by it."
"Alright, in that case just rest until you feel better. AbBEE?"
"Yes, Miss?"
"Please tell the kid that now is not a good time."
"Of course."
"Wait, what kid?" I ask.
Hildi answers, "Oh, your human friend came by again but if you're not feeling well he can come by again tomorrow."
"Morgan is here!? No it's fine, I'm fine, let him in! Oh, but let me brush my hair first and get presentable!"
"Are you sure Sammy? If you're not feeling well it's best for-"
"I'm sure! AbBEE go tell him I'm getting ready. Hildi, please help me pick out some nice clothes and make me look good."
"Yes my lady!"
"I can help you pick out some nice clothes. Though to be frank, even in rags you'd look pretty enough for a human king to fall for you. There's no need to go all out for a farmer."
"I want to look good for him though!"
Pavel chimes in, "If the girl wants to look pretty in front of her crush then why not let her be Miss Hildegard?"
"Hey! He's not my crush, okay!"
Hildi answers, "You can look as pretty as you want whenever you want, I won't object to that but I also want to let you know that you're too young for relationships. Your flesh prison might make you feel things right now that are confusing and feel exciting but you're too young and immature for these sorts of things."
"Come on mom it's not like I'm going to marry the guy. We're just friends."
"And as long as it stays that way that's fine. You just started to act more like your age and I just don't want you to be forced to act older than you are again. Whether it be by other people or your flesh prison."
"What do you mean act more like my age? Isn't fourteen baby age for Fey?"
"Yeah and you've been doing well in unlearning the expectations posed on you by humans."
"Wait, are you saying I'm mentally regressing to a baby!?"
Brushing over my cheek, she answers, "I wouldn't call it regressing, more like letting go of unnecessary attachments so you can be happy. I know you put great value in being smart and mature and those things will not go away if you do that. You just won't be unhappy to upkeep them."
"I call it regressing though! I'm fourteen! That means I'm basically an adult, I'm not a baby!"
Pavel then smugly says, "Daaw, look Miss Hildegard you made that adult woman upset."
"Oh shut up Pavel! Is the only reason you came back so you could sass me?"
"No but it's definitely part of it. Instead of complaining though, shouldn't you get ready for your friend? He's waiting for you during this tantrum after all."
"I…You…Fine. You win this time…"
"Oh trust me, I always win."
"Oh shut up, atleast make yourself useful and bring me the bow over there."
"Fine, but I'm only doing this because you can't walk well yet."
I then quickly get myself presentable and into a pose that says 'I'm fine and unbothered'. Yeah, that's cool!
"Okay, Hildi can you let him in now? I'm ready."
"Sure."
Hildi gets up, leaves the room and a few seconds later, the door opens again with Morgan standing there in what looks like the garbs the squires wore at the sponsor presentation.
"Hey Morgan how're y-"
Before I can even finish my sentence Morgan runs towards me, grabs my hands and falls on his knees crying.
"Huh?"
"I'm so sorry for everything that happened! It was all my fault! You went through all this pain all by yourself and yet I'm so happy that you're still alive. I know I'm horribly useless, I even broke down at your funeral, despite everything being my fault, and yet you still do so much for me. I-I-I am so sorry! I don't know how I can ever make it up to you!"
"Hey, hey, it's okay. You don't need to make anything up to me, you didn't do anything wrong."
"But you came back for me when you were already free and you got burned and nearly died! All I did was make things more difficult for you!"
"I…Well, maybe so but you still did it because you wanted to save me! You couldn't have known that I had escaped a while ago and thanks to you the entire camp got destroyed!"
"I don't get it…How can you not be angry with me! You should be absolutely livid at me! I'm at fault for you getting burned aft-OUCH"
Pavel interrupts Morgan by suddenly kicking him in the face, "What a pathetic excuse of a knight you are."
"Pavel what the heck are you doing!?"
"I just can't listen to this arrogant child anymore. Listen to me Human. It's not that you are at fault for what happened to her. She chose to save you knowing very well she might die, don't try to twist her valiant sacrifice into just some mistake of yours. The mistakes you made were being caught, after thinking you could be a hero, and get away without any training whatsoever. Even now, you cling to this arrogance while in front of the hero that knew she was weak, that knew her chance of survival was low and yet she still went to save you. She didn't even start running, knowing she was facing certain death so that you could get away. You've been apologizing so much and yet you never thanked her for what she did for you. You will never be a knight if you can't let go of your arrogance and humble yourself in front of your savior."
Getting a bit angry, Morgan yells, "What do you even know!? I went through a lot of trouble to save her! She's just some fey orphan girl, I deserve being a knight for doing what I did for her!"
Confused, I pull my hands away from him, "What did you just say?"
"I-I didn't mean it like that, t-that just came out wrong! I really do care about you, I even said I'd take responsibility and marry you even if you won't heal and end up crippled and scarred!"
"What the heck are you talking about!? Why does everyone treat me like I'm damaged goods that needs to be married off to someone!? First that guy who tried to murder us with assassins, then the knight captain and now you! What makes you think I'd even want to marry you or anyone else???"
"Well, what else are you going to do without a man? At least when I marry you, you get a soul and can go to heaven instead of having to stay a heathen all your life."
"Wha- I- What!? What are you even talking about!?"
Getting a look as if talking to a child on his face, he answers, "I know you don't know much but just trust me it's best for you! You can just stay like you are while I handle things for you that you don't understand."
"I…I don't even know what to say…I need time to think, please leave Morgan."
"There's nothing to think about, it's just that little gnome's fault for making me angry and saying things I shouldn't have. I-"
"Morgan, I said 'leave'. Now."
His eyes slightly glaze over as he stands up and leaves.
Not knowing what to do, I just look at Hildi who has been silently observing things in the corner of the room and ask, "What was that?"
"You used his true name to command him to leave so he left."
"No, not that! Why did he suddenly change as a person!? He was a kind guy before and now he is talking about marrying me like he'd be doing me a favor, treats me like I'm worth less than him and talks some weird stuff about me getting a soul and being a heathen."
"Ah…Perhaps you haven't noticed it because you were raised as a boy before but humans treat their females as lesser than them. In general, they see femininity as a weakness, which is why they stop their females from becoming successful and force them into being dependent on men via laws, force and culture. They even go as far as to murder their females when they go out of line or murdering their males for acting too femininely, like when they show romantic interest in the same sex."
"But most people aren't like that! At least not where I lived…I think."
"There are of course always exceptions but throughout the existence of humanity this has always been the case and those that weren't like that were murdered by the ones that were. Your human friend is probably one of the more progressive people when it comes to his views."
"He is!?"
"Yes, the fact that it took you this long to feel offended means that he is one of the better ones."
"Is that so…So how about the soul marriage thing?"
"It's complete hogwash. Essentially, religious humans believe that when they marry us Fey they give us a soul. When in fact, we already have a soul and all they're doing is make it so we do no longer reincarnate and instead move to the same place in the afterlife that they do."
"So there is a heaven?"
"Multiple ones, yes. Each deity has their own realm that they peddle as a reward for humans if they do exactly what they tell them to do, which usually ends up being killing or converting everyone not of their faith while relieving them of any guilt they may have, through telling them that their deity will forgive them as long as they keep practicing their faith. What the humans don't know though, is that heaven is not always what they want it to be like and unlike us, they can't freely move between the divine realm and the material world, so once they're there they can't leave until given special permission by their deity."
"Huh…So what are humans to do then? They don't live forever like Fey and when they die that's just it, right?"
"They would usually reincarnate without their memories but if their desire to keep on living is very strong or they have some sort of affinity with one of the four forces they can reincarnate with their memories intact. Though that is pretty rare, most humans either die content or without a strong desire to live another life."
Suddenly getting a realization, I say, "Wait a second…Before I woke up in this body my dad beat me up. I didn't think it was that bad but do you think it might be possible that I really was human and got reincarnated in this body?"
"Well, for starters, you wouldn't have reincarnated into the flesh prison you're in now, it's just a corpse prison. If you were reincarnated with your memories intact and put into that flesh prison, then the ritual would have needed to be used at your birth, provided you don't have any memories of growing up as a Fey."
"Do you…Do you think that's possible?"
"Possible? Yes. Probable? No. The most likely situation is you just not knowing you were Fey from the beginning, though I admit that everything about your case is peculiar, so it could make the improbable a lot more probable."
"I think I'm a bit overloaded Hildi. I don't know what to do or what to think right now. I'm just so…Confused."
Sitting down next to me she answers, "That's completely understandable, is there anything I can do to help?"
"I…I want to go outside for a bit. Alone."
"Just in the garden or into the city?"
"The city. I want to go to the commoner's district to see what the people there are really like."
"I can't let you go alone, it's too dangerous, especially not in an area like this."
"What if I take Pavel with me?"
"I'm not letting you outside without me being right next to you until you can at least walk normally again."
"Fine…Can you give me some space then? I think I need some time alone…"
"Sure, if you need us for anything just use the servants bell. I'll be back close to morning, to practice walking with you."
Hildi and AbBEE then leave my room.
"Pavel…You too please."
"You sure? I was certain you just wanted them gone so you could chew me out about how I was out of line in what I said."
Putting my head down, I answer, "I don't think you said anything wrong Pavel…"
"Huh, well that's not what I expected. So, you're not mad at me?"
"No, I think you said what you said both for my sake and Morgan's sake. There's nothing more self destructive than unfounded pride in something you have no talent or skill in…I just didn't think Morgan would react the way he did. I also didn't know he saw me that way… I thought we were friends but he…He just saw me as some pet to take care of and according to Hildi, that's already considered lucky in terms of how humans here are going to treat me."
Sitting down next to me, he puts his hand on my thigh supportively, "Yeah…I know what it's like to be seen like that…But you know what? Even though most people treated me like I was lesser than them, I still found someone that treats me like an equal. If you don't give up on the humans then you'll find one that treats you well. And hey, even if you don't find one, there are still the Fey. They have their own problems but they shouldn't treat you as lesser than them."
"Will they though? I don't even know if I'm really Fey. What's going to happen if it turns out I'm not? I know Hildi said there are ways but still…I'll probably still be an outsider. What makes it even worse is that I know that you have the answers to those questions but you can't tell me about it because of your loyalty to the queen."
He scratches his head, "Well…Tha-"
"It's okay. You don't need to justify it. I know that your loyalty comes first and that if you could you would tell me. It's just…Still very frustrating. You know?"
There is a bit of silence between us before Pavel says, "You are Fey. You died from inner bleeding and got reincarnated. I must not tell you who your parents are but what I can tell you is that if you take that locator necklace off they will find you and get you out of that flesh prison in no time. You will probably never see Miss Hildegard again if that happens but I still believe that you will be happy and most importantly safe if you do that. I have no idea who put you into that flesh prison or why they did it and I'm pretty sure neither does her majesty. Your true name also changed when you reincarnated. Obviously I can't tell you what your last name is without revealing your parents but your true first name is Eleanor."
It's like a massive stone falls off my chest as I listen to Pavels revelation. Tears flow down my face as I feel weeks of built up stress from uncertainty all crumbling down at once making me feel extremely exhausted.
"Thank you Pavel. Truly…Thank you…"
"Hey kid don't say that, you know it's not safe for Fey to thank others. People can take advantage of that."
"Haha…Maybe but I trust that you would never do that. So really, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for telling me Pavel…I know it wasn't an easy decision."
Patting my back, he says, "You made it easy by being a good kid… So, are you going to take that necklace off now? It'd most likely be best for you."
"Even if I knew that I could get eternal happiness by doing so, if that means losing my mom it's not worth it."
I then pick up the servant bell and make it chime. It takes only a few seconds for the door to open as Hildi comes in, with AbBEE in tow, and asks, "That was pretty quick, did someth- Oh my Sammy, you look horrible are you okay?"
"I'm just feeling a little exhausted mommy. Can we cuddle while I take a nap?"
"Of course we can but why the sudden change? What happened?"
"I'll tell you all about it once I wake up. But right now, I need my mommy."
"Alright Sammy, I'm here for you."
Feeling the warmth from Hildi's hug, I pass out from exhaustion with a smile on my face.
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