It wasn't a good day after that.

Ingo and I were done with our punishment now, so we had the whole day dedicated to training and exercises. And given Leo's suggestions, we spent almost all of that time in the air, first practising loops, rolls, fast braking, and tight turns once again before moving on to some more specific tactics that we thought up on the fly, like swooping down to grab something on the ground in our talons and climbing back into the air with one motion. Griffin was an instant master at that—I guess it's what their powerful hind talons were built for—but the rest of us really struggled.

It was rough watching Brand have just as little success as the rest of us, despite having been born with wings on her back. Her movements were clumsy and her talons lacked any dexterity. I had noticed her fumbling as she tried to put on those clawguards we'd received the other day, and she hadn't seemed to get any better at it by then. Our target for the exercise was a big bundle of straw the approximate size of a person, and each time she came back up with only clumps of torn straw in her talons after having to slow so much that she almost fell out of the sky. I gave her some reassurance, but she didn't seem interested, growling and huffing with only Yura to listen to her.

I tried to breathe fire, too. I had to fight through a sea of fear and uncertainty to even get to the point of trying, but eventually Griffin and Arthur had me on one of the far courtyards where I wouldn't be in danger of anyone else getting in the way.

«Alright,» said Arthur. «It's not too difficult. You've just got to focus. You'll be able to feel it in your chest once you're ready to exhale.»

«We have an organ in our throat,» said Griffin, pointing to a spot at the base of their neck. «Fire comes from there. It's kind of like flexing your neck muscles. Or like swallowing.»

«Okay…» I said, feeling the trepidation in my mental voice. I nervously shifted between my two front feet. «There's no chance I'm going to burn myself doing this, right? We're immune to fire?»

Griffin looked up at the sky. «We're resistant,» they said. «Not immune. You should be fine as long as you don't breathe directly on yourself. Or step in a fire that you started. I think that our fire is colder than normal dragon fire, though.»

«Is it really?» asked Arthur. «I've been thinking that it was hotter, because of the colours.»

«Well, it's made with different chemicals,» said Griffin. «That's what they told me. That's why the colours are different. But the temperature is less. I don't know why. Brother Alvhir said it was…"unspecialised" when he took a look at it after I first got here.»

«Huh,» said Arthur. «I wonder if those Lock thingamajigs might let us "specialise" the fire, then?»

«Maybe?» I said. Maybe they'd even let me make it not fire at all. That would really be something useful. «I think I'm ready to try.»

Arthur and Griffin both took several steps back to end up behind me. «Go for it,» said Arthur.

I took a deep breath, tilting my head up towards the sky and closing my eyes. I tried to remember how it had felt back in those catacombs beneath the monastery when I'd ignited the torch. It was one of the first things I'd done after swallowing the stone, before I'd even become a dragon for the first time. Surely if it was easy enough for me to do on accident back then, I could do it now on purpose.

I pressed the back of my tongue to the roof of my mouth and blew hard. I didn't feel or hear anything, and when I opened my eyes, I didn't see anything either.

«That was just air,» I noted aloud. After all that anxiety about accidentally starting fires and burning people, I was seriously running aground on the fact that I couldn't even summon any fire in the first place?

Arthur and Griffin looked just as surprised as me. «Did you back off?» asked Arthur.

«No!» I said. I hadn't even really wanted to breathe fire, but not even being able to like the other ersatz could was still humiliating. «I really tried! I don't know why that didn't work.»

I didn't wait for a signal to try again, this time keeping my eyes open as I blew another gust of only air. Then I blew another one, and another, and another still, starting to pant as I grew light-headed from exhaling so much air.

«Argh! Come on!» I said with a hiss. «Why isn't it working?»

«Maybe you don't have any fire?» suggested Arthur. «I mean, dragons are all supposed to be different, aren't they? I didn't even know I had venom until two days ago.»

I tilted my head. «You have venom?» I said, letting that bit of curiosity momentarily distract me from my frustration.

«Yup,» said Arthur. «Haven't tested how strong it is, but I also don't think I want to. We'll find that out if and when it comes to it.»

Griffin nodded. «Dragons are all nearly unique, that's right. But all dragons have fire. Or, they're supposed to. Are you sure you're really trying as hard as you can?»

I growled, the frustration snapping right back into place. «Yes! Of course I am. I did it before, right after I swallowed that gem. But it's just not working anymore!» I fell down onto my belly on the ground, rubbing the sides of my head with my hands.

Arthur and Griffin shared a glance. «Okay, we can take a break for now, then,» said Arthur. «I don't think that getting flustered is going to make it any easier.»

I nodded. I could feel the anger rising up again, and now was a good time to put it down before it became overwhelming. «Right. Yeah. We'll come back to this later, I'm sure.»

«That's good,» said Arthur. «We still need to do more skywalking.»

I froze, then pushed my nose into the dirt. «Oh, saints…» I muttered. «I'm sure this isn't going to be stressful at all.»

It was. We had been continuously doing those incredibly boring ground-based practises during the week, but none of us had been brave enough to actually take it up into the air yet. Not even Ingo, who I could tell was uncharacteristically nervous about this activity. I didn't blame him at all.

We decided to go one at a time, flying low to the ground with the remaining three of us flying even lower than the person practising in the hopes of maybe catching anyone who fell. It made the training slower, but at least we had some kind of safety net. Grace decided that she should go first, despite my warnings, so I spent a few minutes tracing out a path over the mountain forest that I felt kept us far enough away from any exposed rock that she would probably be okay if she fell.

I got extremely tired within only twenty minutes. Thankfully, Grace didn't fall; even if this had more variables than doing it on the ground, the motions were pretty much the same for her. The biggest difference was for me, since I had to strain my wings in order to keep going straight and prevent myself from rolling in the air as the weight swung and shifted all around me. Between the wind and the surprisingly powerful forces that came with Grace swinging around, I was surprised that I only ended the practise with some bruised and battered wings from bashing into a few tree branches on the way.

«I think…that's enough…» I panted before Grace could get going for another try.

"Tired?" she asked.

«Holy blood, yes!» I said.

Grace nodded. "Great, because I am too. Rosalie, you're up."

I dipped down so that Arthur could take my place, and flew along below him for a while. After all that effort, I was glad to spend some time just gliding. I kept watch on those two, but Rosalie was nearly as good at this as Grace. This time I could fully watch as she swung, passing underneath Arthur to grab a line attached to his opposite flank, or hauling herself up to stand leaning against his lower back. We hadn't incorporated weapons yet, but she still had the confidence to throw herself from one line to another using only one hand, rather than directly transitioning between them with two. As Arthur and her dipped down to let Ingo try, that thought brought another more worrying one to my head that I decided to voice later.

Ingo still seemed a little nervous about this, but he and Arthur did far better than I had expected. Ingo moved with less force than the rest of us, less throwing himself around in the air and more carefully dropping down with each line, but Griffin helped make up the difference. They swerved and rolled to the sides each time Ingo dropped down, the inertia of their movements swinging Ingo and the line he needed right into position for him to grab it. He was using two hands for the process, but he was able to draw out his baton with lightning speed each time he ended up where he intended to be. We had one small scare when Ingo's fingers brushed against a line but failed to grab it before he let go of the one he was on. Arthur and I jolted together to get underneath Ingo, but Griffin instantly dipped down low enough that Ingo found the line again before he could fall more than a couple feet. There was a collective sigh of relief from everyone present at that, and those two decided that was enough practise for now.

«I had a thought,» I said as Griffin and Ingo descended back down to our level. «Yura? How are you going to do this with one arm?»

"Ah! Very simple!" said Yura. "I won't!"

I blinked «…Oh.»

"Yes, it would be rather difficult for me to hold onto the line and swing my bruiser at the same time," Yura continued. "That's why I decided to have it modified to increase its reach so much. Hopefully, I should be able to strike opponents from right here in the saddle." He brought the weapon out of its holster, clicking it into its whip form and grinning in a way that seemed to make Brand extremely nervous. "If the situation requires, it might even be possible for me to use this for some acrobatics. But I think that is probably something I shouldn't risk breaking my legs falling to master just yet. Perhaps if I can Unlock some better durability, then I will feel safe enough to practise."

He clicked the bruiser back into its club form and slipped it back where it belonged. "But for now, I am more than content to leave this training time to the rest of you."

We ran through the practise a few more times, but all three of us who were actually doing the flying got completely exhausted very fast, and the riders were following closely behind, so we abandoned skywalking for the day, fairly happy with how we were doing but not yet confident that we would be able to pass the test.

That confidence would come gradually over the next four days, as we added weapons into our flight and skywalking practises. We discovered a patch of clearing to the north with several large shooting targets set up on the ground, and we used that to test our riders' proficiency with firearms. Despite having guns integrated into some of their weapons, Grace, Rosalie, and Yura had all received purpose-made rifles and pistols that hung from their belts or the sides of our saddles. Apparently the pistol in Rosalie's sword and the gun in Grace's spear were more for close-range battles, with Grace's spear especially being more of a blunderbuss or shotgun than a rifle.

Stolen novel; please report.

All of their shooting was surprisingly good while in motion. As it turned out, all three of them had some practise firing guns from either horseback or a moving wagon or carriage, and they started getting used to the strain of shooting while flying fairly quick. Ingo and Griffin even teamed up to coordinate short dives with Ingo's sling, which he had said he preferred to a gun because of the "more precise feeling of motion" it gave him. After four days, their shots all reliably landed at least somewhere on the target, though they were still a ways away from landing any consistent bulls-eyes.

On the fourth day, the riders all had to go into the armoury to get their weapons fixed up after a week of clashing them against each other and receive some instruction on how to maintain their own weapons in the field, leaving me and the other dragons to several hours' worth of trying to practise our fire breath. The others all worked on their precision, figuring out, seemingly by instinct and willpower alone, how to control the stream of flames, intentionally switching between a small jet that barely escaped their mouths before petering out, to long and thin lines that could fly a hundred feet or more, to broad sheets of flame that could sweep over a massive cone. The dancing of Arthur's white and pale blue, Griffin's deep violet tinged with maroon, and Brand's ordinary orange flames was both mesmerising and haunting. I would have loved to add my own sunset-coloured ones to the conflagration, but even after several days of trying, I still couldn't exhale anything more than air.

I stamped my foot on the ground and stared at the patch of kindling I had gathered that remained conspicuously and insultingly unburnt. My blood was hot and running through my brain like heated wires. Four days. Four days I had spent just trying to get something that I had done on accident, and that everyone else could do by instinct, to work, and yet there was still a mental block or maybe something physically wrong with me that held me back. I swept all the twigs away and collapsed on the ground, pressing my hands against my face as I focussed on the smell of the grass to try and cool off.

Then again, maybe that's where I was going wrong. The only times I'd had any experience that was close to breathing fire was when I'd smelled smoke after getting angry. Was that it? Had that supernatural anger done so much damage to me that I could only summon flames when it took over? Maybe it was okay to let it out a little bit, then, otherwise we'd fail the test….

«Are you okay?» asked Griffin. I pulled my hands away from my eyes to see them standing over me.

I sighed, getting to my feet again. «Frustrated, still.»

Griffin tilted their head. «Do you want us to see if one of the older dragons could help?» they asked.

«No,» I spat. «It's a me problem.» I turned away, flattening my ears as I sulked away. «The sun's setting. I'm going to go ahead and get to bed.»

«Tomorrow's the test,» said Griffin. «Are you sure you want to sleep without being ready?»

«I'll get up first thing in the morning, and I'll try some more then,» I said. «But right now all this is doing is irritating the life out of me. I don't think I'm going to get any farther until I get some rest.»

Griffin sat down, their face telling me that they were unconvinced. «Well…okay,» they said. «Rest well.»

I let out an affirmative growl in response and trudged all the way back to the bunks. It was one of the few times that I had actually been completely alone in there, and the loneliness hit me like a sledge. Juniper got up as soon as she heard me enter and walked alongside me to curl up in the dragons' nest.

«Good girl, Juni,» I whispered as I spread my wing over her like a blanket and gave her weak scratches behind the ear. I was glad for her presence. She had helped me keep from going stir-crazy from spending so much time in this shape. I hadn't admitted it to Griffin, but part of the reason I wanted to get an early night's rest today was so that I could sleep away some of the remaining hours before I could turn back. That was what I was most excited about with the test.

I pondered that feeling of confinement as I drifted slowly into sleep. I still hadn't fully come to understand it. Being in this form, walking on all fours, flying, all that didn't bother me in the visceral, immediate way that I felt it should. It bothered me in my mind when I thought about it for too long, but I felt like I couldn't tell anymore whether that was a real feeling or something that I was forcing on myself. Something I felt because I told myself that I should.

Maybe I should just try and let that feeling go. Maybe it'd be best for my mental health to just stay this way, forever….

No. No! My mental shouts turned into a physical growl. That was wrong thinking. It was bad. I couldn't stay like this, because that wouldn't be me. It wouldn't be. It couldn't. I shouldn't let those dragon thoughts take over. That would be the end of me.

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I was awoken by a wooden bumping sound. I startled and my head shot up from the nest, blearily glancing around as I cleared the mist of sleep from my mind. The room was dark, with cold moonlight streaming in through the windows being the only source of light. I could feel Juniper still curled up underneath my wing, and someone else was sleeping just behind me. Looking back, I saw that it was Arthur, sleeping on his back with his legs up in the air, one of his limp wings just brushing against my tail. If he wasn't an oversize lizard, it might have been adorable.

But neither Brand nor Griffin were there with us. I heard a click and muffled scrapes against stone, then a low, mumbled grunt. Brand was standing by the door in the common area, with Yura at her side as he slowly and quietly opened the door.

"No, no trouble at all," Yura whispered. My ears were only just sensitive enough to pick out his words. "It sounds rather nice. I'm happy to come along."

As they slipped out the door, I carefully inched myself out from underneath Juniper's head. She wouldn't notice; she probably wouldn't even wake up until noon tomorrow. I tucked my wings in and tip-toed towards the door. Stealth was something I hadn't had a lot of practise with yet in this body, but despite my increased size and weight, my steps weren't so heavy that I couldn't be mostly silent if I really tried. It brought to mind the mountain cats that lived in the lower Fountainheads. Maybe I could get to that point through practise; or, maybe, through Unlocking.

Yura and Brand were halfway down the hall by the time I left our bunks, about to step out onto one of the keep's several balconies. My movements were quiet, but the soft click of the door as it slid back into place drew their attention.

Brand let out a defensive growl, but Yura gave her a confused look and a soft slap on her shoulder. "Brand, don't act so crass!" he hissed before turning to face me. "I apologise, Belfry, did we wake you?"

«Er, I think so,» I said, my voice still suffering from some grogginess. «What time is it?»

"About midnight," said Yura. "Brand said that she wanted to do some flying at night, and then that she had some friends to meet. It's not anything that you should worry about."

I glanced at the window and the star-speckled night sky. I flexed my wings. «No, but…I mean, I'm pretty awake already,» I said. «I went to bed early, so I don't know if I'll be getting back to sleep any time soon. Do you…mind if I come with you? I haven't gone flying just for fun. Ever.»

Brand reeled back at that like the statement has slapped her, but Yura merely gave a thoughtful nod, remaining silent for a moment before speaking. "Brand says that you may, as long as you don't get too much in the way."

Brand snorted and gave me an analysing look. I held my head up high and pulled my feet closer together, suddenly a little anxious. «I won't,» I said.

"Good!" said Yura. "Then, let us be off."

He climbed onto Brand's back as they went out the door to the broad balcony, and I followed just behind them. Brand wasn't wearing her harness or saddle, so Yura had to hold directly onto her neck. Then again, I wasn't either. I wasn't even wearing my shifting clothes, which had been discarded for the past few days on account of not being necessary if I wasn't turning human.

"Ready?" he asked as he and Brand sidled up to the low, wide railing.

«Ready,» I confirmed.

Brand launched herself into the sky, and I followed just behind. I kept on her tail, letting the distance between us slowly grow as we climbed higher and higher into the night.

«Do we have a plan?» I asked.

"Not that I know of!" called Yura. "We have got an important test tomorrow, now is the time to have some joy!"

Joy, huh. I could probably do that. I broke away from Brand and continued to climb into the air. I watched the world beneath me grow far away as I flew towards the moons, soon reaching high enough that I burst through a small, low-flying cloud. Droplets of water clung to my scales as I tilted backwards. I felt gravity disappear for a moment as I reached the apex of my climb, tucking my wings in for a moment as I flipped backwards, before snapping them out again once I levelled out.

I let myself hang there in the sky as I caught my breath and gazed down at the world beneath me, a patchwork quilt of rock and forest interspersed with fluffy grey-white clouds that seemed so bright when they were lit from above by the white light of Carin. The rush of delight and wonder that flooded through me was instant. It really was the first time that I had flown without doing it to carry someone somewhere. All on my own, with the whole world spread out before me and the sky yawning above me, I felt wonderful. Truly wonderful.

I focussed on the sensation of wind billowing beneath my wings and tiny fragments of mist called forth from the air by the night's chill as they landed on my face. I felt like I could stay there forever, marvelling at all the possibilities that I was confronted with up here. The feeling of freedom that I had had when I flew before had been constrained and fragmentary; now, it was pure.

I decided to to pick one of those possibilities to explore and tilted my wings forward, slowly going into a steep dive. Once I slipped beneath the cloud layer, I pulled my wings tight against my body and hurtled straight downwards, towards a tree-filled cleft in the mountains. For once, every part of me was united in purpose, with no anxieties or foreign instincts holding me back, and I let myself get lost in the swirling eddy of excitement and mirth, confident that whatever impulses were guiding me then would be able to keep me from crashing. A rumble of laughter escaped my throat as I snapped my wings open once more and shot through the box canyon, rapidly tilting back and forth to keep my balance and dodge jutting blades of rock that extended from the cliffs.

At the end of the canyon, the mountain fell away, plunging into a sheer cliff with two thin waterfalls cascading down the stone. I pulled up as I reached the edge, twisting over on my side to begin a steep dive downwards. I let my claws touch the water of the falls as I plummetted, tracing a slicing wake as I went that cut through the spray. I braked, swooping upwards right as I was about to hit the tall evergreen trees that spread out from the cliff's bottom, my legs and wings only just barely avoiding the highest leaves.

As I felt myself begin to slow, I lurched backwards, carrying all of that momentum upwards into a wild, rising spin. I twisted through the air, and as I did, I felt a strong impulse that I let have its way. I roared, the thunderous sound washing out over the forest. When the sound rumbled free, I felt a heat in my chest, and sunset-coloured flames blasted out from my mouth in a rising spiral as I spun, tracing a dancing line through the air.

The light, sound, heat, and smell grabbed my conscious mind and slammed it back into control. I hovered in the air, flapping and breathing hard as I stared at the space where the flames had faded into airborne cinders and sparks. The colourful light was blinding in the dark night, and while my eyes tried to readjust to the shadow, the memories of a smoke-shrouded, choking night of fire and flame were dredged in my head. I suddenly felt very, very sick.

I staggered over to an exposed bald rock and half landed, half crashed, laying on my belly and clinging to the stone with all four feet. I had to gasp for air. I didn't throw up, but I felt like I wanted to, and all the physical activity I had just suddenly stopped did not make that feeling any better.

I didn't know whether to be happy that I had actually breathed fire for the first time, or upset about the reason why I couldn't before. It ended up being a mix of both, especially since now I wasn't sure if I could do it again, or if I could, if I would be able to convince myself to.

I thought about flying back to tell Grace right away, but not only did I not want to wake her up, I didn't know if I even felt like talking about what I had just learned. Especially not with her. As much as I trusted my sister, I didn't want to be fishing those memories up for her, too. Saints knew that night was worse for her than it was for me. It would probably be best to lock those memories away in a vault for the time being, like I did with the dragon-spawned thoughts, and just power through it if we got tested on it tomorrow. I could work out a longer term resolution later. Not everything had to be done right this second.

I glanced up at the sky. Brand was wheeling about overhead, going much slower than I had been, seemingly just enjoying being in the air. I pushed myself off the rock and took several deep breaths. I had spent long enough sitting still and focussing as hard as I could on being logical about all this that the feeling of nausea had already partly faded, but I had definitely already used up my stores of adrenaline and energy for the night. Nor was I willing to relinquish active control again. Not now.

So, I slowly and uncertainly climbed back into the air. I climbed as high as I could, well above the clouds to the point that I could feel my breath getting much shorter from the thin air. I spent that next hour soaring, letting the nightly gales take me wherever they decided to blow and looking out at the distant sea to the east.

Something about the sea had felt a bit strange each time I had looked out at it. Carin hung low in the sky over it, its large form seeming to be exaggerated on the dark, nearly still water's surface. And perhaps it was my imagination, but I could have sworn that some of the stars I saw spread out before me were unique to the reflection.

I stared at the ocean for a long time, letting my mind sink into the cold, watery expanse, almost able to feel the great weight of the tides and waves as I watched. It was enough to keep my mind away from fire and smoke, and in that moment, that was all I could have asked for.

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