"So-uoh-uoh, wha-uoh-uat hap—" The extremely bumpy ride quickly had me giving up talking out loud.

We asked, via AAI, if Sasa could slow the cart at all. He bellowed 'no way' with a laugh and a little hop to emphasize his point that almost sent Inara flying out, only the stretching tarp keeping her with us.

It was at that point that our team leader, who had won the rock-paper-scissors match to be the person on top of the pile of people, stuck her head out of the tarp covering.

I lost and Pavel came third so his face was only inches from mine, Romie and Inara pressing us far too close for comfort with their slimmer bodies above.

"At least," bump, "put us," crash, "on the," a spray of leaves, "road please!" Inara yelled at the man.

"Can't, not 'as fast as possible' like the pretty, scary lady said," Sasa called back.

"Then I'll cut the tarp, jump out, and walk!" she hollered in reply, the glint of her flashed dagger hitting my eye between the mishmash of bodies and limbs on top.

He quickly moved to the road.

God, why was he doing that for almost twenty minutes? I thought it was just a bumpy road!

Within seconds, we could talk without every other syllable being lost to the terrain. Unfortunately, Sasa refused to let us take off the tarp so we were still packed in like extra squished and sweaty sardines, the cover providing little relief from the muggy weather.

I asked something that had been bothering me since I exited the rift. "What happened with Natalia? I figured you would have stopped the other people who left the rift, got an idea of the situation. Seems like something Natalia would back up since she was specifically our rift guide."

Pavel responded, his face essentially pressed next to my ear anyway. "We tried to stop them leaving but the two assholes were insistent they needed to go and seek medical attention; Natalia wouldn't hear of us barring their way. She was actually pretty scary, threatening to break my arm, but with that smile still plastered across her face. Weird but I don't think she was part of it all."

Inara called down through the mass of bodies, "Agreed, she's weird, it was weird, but not suspicious."

Romie chirped a 'ditto' so it set me to thinking but I eventually reached the same conclusion. If Natalia had been in on it, she would have taken the injured woman away. But that was weird in and of itself: she left a woman heavily bleeding on the ground when she let others seek medical attention.

Inara's voice sounded strange after traveling through the tangle of the rest of the team. "Natalia saw to her and made sure she'd pull through without anything too serious or lasting. After that, she said her priority became ensuring your safety. It was like she had a checklist."

Romie replied, "She did. Shared it second day."

With that curiosity no longer nagging at the back of my mind, I tried to figure out how to ask something heavy while we were all squished together like a poorly-made seven layer dip.

Four layer delver dip?

Given there was yet another instance of someone putting a target on my back, it felt like I should offer the team an out.

I tried to keep my voice light. "Hey guys, uh, I know I've checked in on this a few times but… it only feels right to offer you all the chance to rethink our agreement. There's a lot of drama and potentially real danger here so let's discuss it in town? Though this one was as much targeted at all of us, ha. Don't need an answer immediately but let's chat about it maybe tomorrow?"

The awkward silence over the next few minutes as no one responded beyond an agreeing 'huh' from Pavel was somehow one of the loudest things I'd ever heard.

Instead of trying to push things, I started sending off messages to my friends in Velez, letting them know of the situation.

Isekonsultant Tip to Thriving #66: Awkward silences suck. Trying to push through an awkward silence and making it far more awkward sucks more. For everyone. It's often better to let people think than push for an answer, especially if everyone is charged up emotionally. Even if it's something major and you think you can't wait for an answer, let them think.

[Incoming Message from Tiesa Gogol: I'll meet you in Pitola. See you tomorrow. STAY SAFE! No risks! Not just unnecessary, none!]

[Okay mom.] I replied to which she sent a picture of her holding a rolling pin like she was going to smash me over the head.

[Incoming Message from Gabor Gogol: You dick! She was making my favorite for dinner! File]

My friend sent a picture of himself, sporting a smarmy smile like he was the funniest person alive.

[Incoming Message from Gabor Gogol: (I'm happy you're safe. Stay that way.)]

Katarina Illeva, the Councilor in Velez I had been the closest with until she used me as a cash cow – both of us were trying to repair our relationship – sent a message as well when she heard what happened through the Council.

[Incoming Message from Katarina Illeva: I know we have our issues but we, Maksim and I both, are extremely happy you are safe despite everything. You are truly resilient, an admirable trait.

I want to speak with you when you are ready. It is time for me to make a true apology and amends, not just send empty words. Best done in person over a nice meal. Be safe my friend.]

With a small smile on my face, I started exploring my spatial ring, poking at it with my spirit, looking for changes.

***

While it was normally a pretty reasonable travel time – six hours if you were running as much of it as a Tier 1 could and eight at a jog – our trip to Pitola only took about three hours.

Sasa was fast.

Just not focused on comfort.

While getting some 'work' done by messaging my friends and experimenting with my ring a bit was nice – taking out the small bit of soft cheese Vana chose was an awful decision, for which I was rightfully yelled at immediately – it was delightful to get out of the cramped cart and away from the others for at least a bit.

We stopped about half a mile (800m) from the Pitola walls, towering far higher than seemed necessary. Sasa pulled us off the road to a small but well-built shack surrounded by a grouping of trees, obscuring sight from the city walls.

The early evening, the sunset only about an hour away, gave everything a slightly calm feeling, washed in pinkish orange.

Sitting outside in a wooden rocking chair was Inga Balodis. The Mayor of Pitola, her assistant Norbert Virant standing at attention a few feet to her side, waved in greeting.

The woman looked to be in her late 40s, at least by Earth standards, but seemed far more relaxed than the last time I'd seen her. Of course, that had been during my early morning ejection from the city, so it made sense.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

It had gone from her planned 'quiet but friendly escort' to a shit show orchestrated by the head of the Pitola Adventurers Guild branch, Selim Koval.

"Inga, good to see you. I think," I said with a bit of a smile.

"Sasa, good work, you can head into the city," Inga told the man but he shook his head.

"No can do Inga-baby, job is to keep 'em safe. That's what you hired me to do so that's what I'mma gonna do," Sasa said, leaning against the corner of the shack.

To my surprise the Mayor smiled and rolled her eyes. "Terry, we have some sensitive things to discuss, step inside," she said, indicating the shack.

I shook my head. "I trust my team, can't really think of anything we'd discuss that I don't want them to hear. Maybe not Norbert and Sasa, sorry guys, so could you move a bit away?"

Norbert looked like a kid who'd had his ice cream stolen as he walked off but Sasa sashayed to lean against a nearby tree, plugging his ears with his fingers but still watching the surroundings intensely.

I rolled my eyes but we moved a bit further away.

"Norbert offered it to you, will you take the full disguise or do you want to cause me, you, these lovely people, and Sasa a whole lot of headaches?" The Mayor said, folding her arms in a standoffish manner.

"Did you really think that would influence my decision? I'm not six," I said with a laugh.

"I hoped you were more of a pushover," she said with a shrug. "Your 'performance' when you were ejected from my city said you might be."

That was half the potion Barry dosed this body with and half not being sure if I was going to be imprisoned, enslaved, or just killed…

Instead of rising to the bait, I remained silent.

When she wants to have an adult discussion, then we can move forward.

Instead, our team leader said, "We wish. Terry and his bond get 20% of the rewards from our delves. Each! Steve doesn't even do anything!" Inara chipped in before sticking her tongue out at me.

Steve leapt from my shoulder to the ground, only to whap Inara on the shin with a stick. She actually gasped and looked down at the little petulant monster. "That almost hurt. Fine, if that's how you're going to behave, no more sneaking you treats when Terry isn't looking."

As my bond began to wail, Inara looked at me utterly confused. I sent my team a quick AAI message. [He absorbed almost half of that jackass' essence and put it all into the circlet. We might actually have a toddler-level intelligence soon…].

Inara's look of delight as she picked up Steve and started talking quietly into his fuzzy head made us look all the worse.

"Well Mayor, not the impression I wanted but my team is highly capable, including on the politics front. We've just had a long day…" I tried to muster up a defense but nothing really came to me.

Isekonsultant Tip to Thriving #67: Sometimes you just have to roll with it when everyone around you makes you look ridiculous. No use crying over spilled milk/reputation.

Inga nodded gravely. "I heard. Oksana Tratnik is asking us to support her effort to add significant oversight to Velez's Council. The silly girl moves too fast and reaches too far, especially as she was in deep with the killed boy. Besides, now is not the time for us to be fighting over scraps instead of banding together…"

I nodded in appreciation before she surprised me further.

"What Nina did – or at least most of it – was right, he deserved to die and she didn't prolong it. That said, answer my question, disguise or no?"

When Norbert visited me in Velez, he offered two options for my trip to Pitola: either we could go in as ourselves, likely causing issues, or they could provide me and even my team disguises.

While I no longer had the worst haircut in either of my worlds, I still looked essentially exactly like Cornelius. My exit on the previous visit to the city was still probably on people's minds.

We also didn't want to deal with Selim Koval either as he was a jackass who hated me because he had some kind of relationship with Cornelius. Inga and I both thought he'd target me if he knew I was in the city.

Lastly, Pitola was essentially the headquarters of The Church of Unullification, a group that tried to assassinate me.

The answer was obvious, though I was curious as to how we'd accomplish it.

"The only reasonable answer for me is a disguise. I don't speak for my team. And what about Steve? If people know about him, he's pretty recognizable. Doesn't that impede what we're trying to do?"

Inga pulled out a small costume, clearly meant for a toddler but sized well for Steve, that would transform him into basically a teddy bear. The idea was to make him a non-descript pet instead of an easily recognizable bond. Inara screamed in delight as she coaxed him to put the costume on, seemingly not paying us much attention yet again.

It was a ploy she often used so people underestimated her; but sometimes the ploy became reality…

The Mayor looked me up and down. "As for you, there are two options. One is simply to slap some makeup and different clothes on you. I have someone who can be here in about a bell. Not great in my view; you are tall with recognizable features. There is a more… painful but much more complete option…" She pulled out a wand with a grim smile.

"Do I want to know?" I asked trepidatiously.

That smile says it's going to be bad.

"It's a wand of [Transform Self]. Even at Tier 4, it hurts like hell. At your Tier, it is going to be the worst thing you have ever felt. Lasts half a day so set a reminder at nine and half bells that you will need to cast it again soon." Inga handed over the wand.

She knew as well as I did that I'd go with the best option which was why she didn't have the makeup person with her.

Still, I wasn't pleased at the lack of information on the actual details. "Great, it's gonna suck. Care to give me more info here? Is it going to hurt the entire time? Is it an illusion people can see through? Can I dismiss it when I want? Are people still able to detect it's me in any way?"

"Yes, yes, I was getting to that," she replied dismissively. "I want to leave here more than you, I assure you. The spell changes your physical body. You will look like someone else entirely. It also changes your spirit slightly so spiritual scans will fail to identify it as you, but anyone worth their salt will realize you have been altered. Lots of people have changes to their bodies and spirits for one reason or another so you will not stand out. Your AAI messages will still have your name and most people accept that as proof it is you."

People changing their spirits was an interesting tidbit I wanted to look into but it wasn't the time.

Inga continued, looking a bit annoyed. "What else? No, the pain goes away after you change. Weirdly enough, when you revert to your normal form at the end of the spell, it doesn't hurt at all. And yes, you can dismiss the change early but it'll hurt twice as bad when you transform back."

"Why? That's so strange," I couldn't help but say.

"Magic," was all Inga replied with.

Annoying answer but fair enough.

I thought the wand sounded like the right call but I asked my team.

Romie shrugged. "Wand is better but pain." They gave a small shiver.

Pavel added, "Agreed that the wand is a better option but probably not worth it?"

Inara laughed. "Don't be a baby!"

Pavel smacked her arm lightly. "You just want to see what he turns into…"

She smiled and nodded happily.

Inga sent over a few different prompts I could use as the wand had an AAI-link, a small chip that accepted a bit of mana in the base. She set me as a registered user and I chose an unassuming man in his mid 20s that actually looked a bit like Inga's assistant Norbert, so non-descript as to be utterly forgettable.

"Do you think they need any disguises?" I asked, pointing to my team, but really just delaying the inevitable.

Inga's knowing look said 'get on with it' so I turned to Inara first. "This is going to hurt so try to keep Steve calm, I think he'll freak out."

Before I lost my nerve, I activated the wand. At first, I thought Inga had been bullshitting me as the changes started happening before my eyes. My hands started to shrink as hair sprouted on my arms. It was an utterly weird experience, watching people around me seem to grow as I shrunk down to a more common five foot ten inches (178cm).

And then it hit me.

My insides and spirit felt like they were being ripped apart, set on fire, pushed through a wood chipper, then dropped into acid. I tried to scream in pain but even the vocal chords were changing, so it didn't work. I could barely hear the small panicked screams of Steve, my entire auditory system also morphing – I realized my mistake of not sending some kind of feeling I would be okay to Steve prior to starting.

Then, it suddenly stopped.

The pain and torment were gone and I was just someone else.

My clothes were quite loose on the smaller form so I asked to borrow some of Pavel's. I walked around the back of the shack to change, only Sasa and Steve coming with.

It was quite awkward, though I didn't really care if someone saw this other body naked. No, the issue was that I was used to my waist being a certain distance from my shoulders… I hit myself in the balls when I tried to cinch my belt. The pain was hardly a shadow on what I'd just felt but it did seem the 'perfect ending' to a long and harrowing day.

My team had changed their clothes and put on cowls to hide their faces, all the disguise Inga thought they'd need; I greatly envied them.

Inga nodded as I came back to the group. "That wand only has three charges, so time your changes well. When it runs out, I need to manually recharge it and that takes a day. Perhaps we can schedule some delves for that time?"

Inara nodded so I thought it sounded good for all of us.

"Great, now I am done with you for the evening. That said, Councilor Asani messaged me something about showing you to our superior private skill market. I have no desire to do that. Here are the instructions and password. Be glad it is open tonight, the timing is a little… sporadic… Do not go into too much debt, Gema's repayment terms are… interesting…" Inga signaled to Norbert and headed into the city.

Sasa accompanied us as we went to an inn to secure lodging and eat but I was too excited to focus on anything else, shoveling food into my mouth at a success rate lower than Steve. Pavel gave me a dirty look for essentially ruining his shirt but I just couldn't care.

Steve felt my anticipation but I had to leave him behind, this time with Romie, as Sasa and I headed to the back alley entrance to the skill market.

I'm getting a spell! Not just a protection one. [Poison Resistance] is great, just not cool. It's like a bike helmet instead of a bike.

What will I get?!

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