IV.

1. Dreams of…

I used to think that… Maybe if you were gone you'd see him again. You and him would be somewhere far away from this place. You'd be happy. Smile freely. You would never have to see this old, haggard woman ever again. You would never have to hear him force the title "Daughter" on you again. Truth is, I thought I wouldn't make it after he died. I thought that I would sleep on his side of the bed and just… vanish entirely. Then all of this happened. None of us truly deserve to even look you in the eyes. I, in whatever fragments left of my broken and guilty conscience, could barely remember your name. Clarity always comes too late, doesn't it? Forgiveness, late apologies, longing for contact, it's all pathetic to beg for, isn't it? Every day was a struggle to keep him happy once you're beaten down and ruined continuously for years. I found myself coming back like a sickly, pavlovian dog. I remembered what he told me every time we briefly came back to the homeland.

"Throw all the stuff I bought for you in that brat's house! I'll get replacements, okay?"

He said that and then dragged me back to his truck by the hair.

I didn't take you. Didn't look back. Couldn't. I didn't know what to do. When we were on the run, I still slept on his side of the bed and waited desperately for my turn for an illness— anything— that would destroy my health. Nothing happened. I'm still here. I thought since you were dead, I'd finally get to go to hell in peace. Where I truly belong is here in this cell. Days blended into one miserable and blank dream. There was quite nothing to do here but rot. They moved me to general population, where I'd hear rumors go on about myself everyday. I even got a few slaps and hair pullings here. I didn't fight back. My body only longed for its soul to vacate this world forever.

"That's the bitch who watched her child get murdered, no one wants filth like you here— and some of us are the filthiest you know!"

I couldn't have children because of my age, yet they targeted there anyways. I spent multiple days and nights handcuffed to a cold metal bench posing as a hospital room. When they finally released me after the bare minimum treatment of me, I sat in the cafeteria in a daze. When I saw you, it was during lunch when the TV was on. My brain went mad, but you were truly on the screen. To me, you were there and alive. To others, I was sure my mind had completely shattered as I began to wail uncontrollably. You grew so tall, you wore glasses and a blazer that probably cost a fortune, but they could not hide your eyes. I knew those eyes, staring at me even as he choked you. They gleamed not with any pleading or sorrow, but with an ambition I could never even begin to guess which parent you got it from. I was sure I beat crying out of you with my own hands, which only made my state worse to other people but I didn't care. I sat, crying for a long time, even though I didn't have the right to. Saying I am proud of you. I am happy that you managed to thrive even through all the things I put you through. I began to dream of your face, twisted into disgust, giving me all the things I thought you would rightfully say to how much of a failure of a mother I am. I woke and found myself back on a cold chair in the prison's hospital, cuffs on yet again. A single tear slid out of my eye when I received the reports. I didn't have much time left on this earth anymore.

At last, No more Tomorrows for me.

Madoka woke up in a cold sweat, still sprawled out on the edge of the bed where she fell before the girl did that strange thing to the Crystal inside of her. She knew that speaker in her head was from the same vision she received from Audrey and she knew exactly who the old woman was. It was Her Highness's true mother! Or rather the pathetic excuse of what remained. That guilty woman saw Audrey one last time before dying in obscurity. Yet, how could that be? Was Audrey from the other side still… alive? If that was the case, who… Madoka glanced at the floor.

Audrey was still there, but there was a glow coming from the girl's side. A golden aura… How could this be? Despite her eyes widening, Madoka realized she could not move! What was this paralysis? Or worse, was it magic placed on them? Her hand twitched and she also realized Audrey was awake, too, locked in the same spell. Neither could move, so, in the end Madoka reluctantly slipped back into sleep.

The disorienting feeling of being inside yet another lucid dream struck her mind like the bristles of a feather duster spiking her forehead. This time, she was walking to a restroom with another group of fellow classmates. Whatever those were. Someone tugged her sleeve. A young, black haired girl gave her an excited look, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Classmate, you're the only one with the phone, right?" She said. "We have to hurry and record this! Unni is at it again. That foreigner is getting it right now!"

The terms and faces blurred, but all Madoka could hear was the sound of angry screaming and dull thuds slapping behind the female restroom's door. Several big and older boys stood guard at the door like bouncers at a club, but when they saw her holding the phone and the excited friend, they smirked and propped the door slightly open, gesturing like they were exclusive VIPs. Inside, the sight did not seem to shock her even though her mind screamed. It was like her body was possessed by someone else who was cold and detached, but her mind could only spectate.

There was a lot of classmates already inside, girls and boys, crowding the place and jeering at the commotion in the center of the bathroom. Some even had brought stools in to fit inside the stalls and watch over the flimsy metal walls. To her surprise, the far back wall was covered in blood. The supposed Unni was out of breath, reddened shoe in hand, stood triumphantly over a barely recognizable creature hardly resembling a girl much smaller than her. Instantly, Madoka knew who it was. Her mind raged, but her hands held up the phone and hit the red record button.

"Hit her harder!" They cheered as the repeated. "Classmate's got the phone now!"

Fueled by the extra attention, the bully swung the shoe into the girl's face. Madoka could only watch in horror as her shaking hands lifted the phone up and record. The comments in the tiny screen started speeding up so fast it made her head spin. Each strike was hollow, a new volley of blood spurted out, and Madoka screamed desperately in her mind for a way to escape this torture. The unni cursed the girl with her whole might, yet the wounded girl never said a word.

"Blonde hair, stupid foreigner! Who do you think you're impressing? Think you're so special because you look different? You look like a dog who sleeps with men from all countries! I'm just helping you look the part!"

The final slap thudded against the girl's forehead and she finally collapsed in the pool of her own blood. The bully turned to Madoka with a heartstopping and sinister, yet excited grin.

"Did you catch all of that?" She asked playfully, shaking her bruised hand.

To give pain and to be an executioner, one must remove all their own parts that make them feel it.

The phone screen shook in an affirmative and equally jubilant manner, showing the motionless torn up remains of a school uniform crumpled in the red puddle. The bell rang and the students all fled out of the bathroom. When Madoka found herself trying to leave, the boy at the exit stopped her with a grin, shoving another smaller and supposedly ugly girl into the room.

"Classmate," he said. "There's quite a mess in there. I gotta lock up before anyone sees. Take my place and keep watch, okay? Then you get out of here too, yeah?"

He suddenly pulled her out so hard her arm nearly dropped the phone in her clenched fist and shoved a steel bar between the handles of the bathroom before bolting off. Madoka was left there, speechless, her head pounding with adrenaline and despair. Screams of anguish and horror came from the inside of the bathroom. The pounding of the locked door and desperate pleas for help slowly reduced into a muffled sob. After she realized that the boy had truly taken off, she did the unthinkable.

At least, that is what her dream self thought. She even felt like she was betraying the rest of her so-called friends and a little guilty for deciding to do this. The bar slid out like a forbidden book from a long forgotten shelf, dull metal scraping against metal ringing out in her ears as if to remind her that she is responsible for this all. She knew that. Somehow, deep down, her dream self understood that unlocking the door could not erase the cowardice she had displayed watching the girl get beaten.

Upon hearing the noise, Madoka barely had time to dodge the door swinging by as the short and ugly girl ran out like a wounded rabbit whose leg had been struck by an arrow. She did not even spare a glance at her before she burst away, crying her eyes out. Horror gripped her as she turned herself back to face the fallen princess still inside the bathroom. That girl did not even bother helping her. Why would she? If she did, the bigger boys would definitely send her directly to that unni.

To her surprise, the princess was standing in front of the mirror despite her face being swollen like a purple pig face. The cuts on her skin were caused by both fist and shoe, hurting Madoka's soul and heart even more. Audrey simply did not, or could not, say a word, only tending to her wounds and wiping them with antiseptic bandages without even flinching. Her good eye, barely peaking through a swollen plum sized bruise, suddenly darted to look at her at the open doorway. Madoka dared not say a word, but for some reason felt compelled to slowly enter. She approached cautiously, as if the distance between them was a perilous thin and icy bridge.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

The princess still said nothing. Nor did Madoka or her dream self, because what was she supposed to say? Sorry, I did nothing to help you and even watched you get beaten like a mangy dog with everyone else? As if that would make failing her so badly it made her body tremble would just go away magically? News flash, magic is not real in this world. Yet the baseless and the cruel are, sharing space on the same canvas holding light and love. And cowardice and being complicit in another's suffering also exist, rendering her insides as rotten as the girl who beat Audrey. Tentatively, Madoka handed the phone over to Audrey and also pulled out all of her money— well, the allowance her parents gave her.

The princess merely accepted both without a word. It was a silent understanding that she was going to probably hear something not only from the police and principle, but also the unni and her parents who donated personally to the school. Madoka blamed her dream self for her shamelessness and inability to be brave in the face of a storm like this for Her Highness. Footsteps clicked slowly behind her, stealing her away from her growing self-hatred. She did not even notice that Audrey was already leaving the bathroom. The footsteps slowed down to a halt directly behind her and Madoka heard her whisper. The princess, through her bruised and battered face, was smiling at her. She not only saw it in the mirror's reflection, but felt the haunting look engrave itself on her skin in the form of tense goosebumps.

"This pain is nothing to me, but why is it everything to you? Forget about me for a moment. Do you even know who you are?"

A chill ran down Madoka's spine as she slowly turned her head to the bathroom mirror. For a moment, she still only saw the blood smeared all over the tiled ceramic walls and its spray pooled in front of the stalls in the reflection behind her. Someone was looking at her in the reflection, but it was not her. Then who was it? The realization crept upon her like a bony hand weighing her shoulders. She choked trying to call ouf for Audrey. She was already gone, so the stranger in the reflection looking back at her with cold eyes and jet black hair was not her, but someone her mind had seemingly conjured up out of nowhere. The buzzing noise immediately droned in her ears, signifying that she was about to wake up.

The phone slid from her shaky hands and dropped. Suddenly, the screen shook before going completely black like her vision.

Madoka jolted awake, nearly with a scream. Her eyelids felt like a hundred boulders collapsed on them. She instinctively clutched her face, neck and then the rest of her clothes. Then her hand sunk into her chest and nearly ripped the Crystal out into the form of a hand mirror. Her purple eyes and haggard face stared back at her. She was finally and still herself; she was only just pale from breathing heavily. These dreams have been the worst, she silently fumed. Then the subject of the dream struck her, standing at the windowsill and staring up at the sky silently. The shadow stretched like a giant chasm between her and the silent girl.

"Audrey!" Madoka let go of the mirror and flung whatever was on top of her and shouted. The floor was cold to her feet, but even thinking about the subtle changes did not stop her furious charge to Her Highness's back. Every inch felt like a mile and each creaky floorboard an obstacle fighting against her. Still, Madoka found herself standing by her side, looking out at the window silently. A weight suddenly leaned against her, then a full embrace followed her. She was tucked into bed and it was obvious who the culprit was. Madoka was about to protest, prostrate, or do anything to express her dream self's remorse, but Audrey cut her off.

"Shh," Audrey murmured into her shoulder, maintaining their embrace. "I'm charging my battery right now."

Madoka's regret had already begun to melt into obscurity, like the dream in her mind leaving only a phantom wound with no memory of how it got there. How it stabbed into her heart like a knife. Besides, dwelling on the warmth coming from the girl's embrace and the coldness she exuded was comforting in a strange way. She did not really understand what a battery was anyways, but if it helped Audrey then, kind gods, let her charge whatever. The room was quiet, save for someone making muffled movements around in the room next to theirs and the peaceful chirping of night's wildlife outside. Moonlight covered both of them, no longer illuminating one half or the other but Audrey's face glowed brighter than that. It also revealed what happened to her right hand after she stuck it inside of Madoka's Crystal Core. Many golden strands laced up to her shoulder and down her wrist in thin uniform lines, like the circuitry she saw in the human's laboratory. As they pulsed, they revealed a strange metallic sheen shined bright enough to make her skin look glossy. It even felt like glass, cooled by the morning mist brought by Spring. Utter shock struck Madoka when a strand sparkled and cracked as it leaped from Audrey's arm to her own and into her chest. The Knotting magic was no longer straying away from her…!

A pair of blue eyes followed her shocked gaze to her arms, then also watched the free Knotting strands gather at the circuit board that was her hand.

"Your hand…!" Madoka barely managed to choke out those two words. Audrey lifted her palm and her smirk slid across her face in the window's reflection like a monster stalking its prey. Then, the rest of the Knotting strands around them formed a beautiful heart-shaped ruby. She nearly fainted from the sheer horror of yet again falling even further behind Her Highness.

"I can use Knotting magic, now," Audrey whispered, but excitement had woven itself into each word like the strands that were tightly knitted together in the ruby. The open palm lifted slowly, making the ruby float in midair, capturing Madoka's attention. Then she closed her hand into a fist, then opened it and just like that the heart shaped ruby vanished. "But it takes a lotta energy out of me. And I can only do it with that hand specifically. I can also do a bunch of freaky shit with that hand."

"Freaky shit?" Madoka could barely keep up with Audrey's speech, let alone reconcile her traumatic dream of the brutally beaten version of the girl with the chattering one clinging to her. She paused. "That sounds dirty."

"Not like that," Audrey sighed dramatically, but suddenly a mischievous grin curled her lips into a scheming smile. "Well, yeah maybe like that. But I didn't need the upgrade to do stuff like that, Madoka."

"What stuff like that?" Madoka became confused.

"Nevermind that, that's what, Madoka," Audrey retorted. "I can do this with the hand."

To Madoka's horror, Audrey's hand suddenly severed itself off from her wrist and began separating finger from palm, joint from joint, in front of the two of them as if it was like those ears dangling from a thin tripwire. It was like a metal and golden prosthetic with many components. The pieces of her hand levitated before reassembling and attaching back to her wrist.

"Never do that again," Madoka breathed. Audrey fidgeted with her new hand, then traced the Knotting strands that seemed to race up and down her arm permanently.

"For the record, I maintain the right to remain silent over how sticking my hand into your Core did this," she noted, but she quickly added with a quieter tone. "I don't actually have any clue how and my lawyers don't either."

"Don't think I have any bright ideas neither," Madoka sighed.

"I… I had another dream again," Audrey started. "While we were, like, spazzing out on the floor."

"Mm," Madoka resisted the urge to jump when a bolt of Knotting magic jumped from the princess's arm to hers. There was something different about Audrey's Knotting magic, and even the fact that she was able to grasp its strands quickly made her feel uneasy and somehow a bit proud.

"The goddess, I'm sure it's a goddess, told me we'll be headed back to the Uracksheegal soon," Audrey murmured. "I was not in an endless plains or even on her lap. I was watching a tower slowly crumble on top of those shadowy creatures under a sunset. Hey, do you remember what that guy said about the Red Strings? How Princesses somehow represent them or are connected to them?"

"Yes," Madoka nodded. She had a vision from Gechick herself. A shadowy version of the kind goddess, sacrificing herself in that tower all alone while her Brother fought to get through the barrier. The child… Her heart suddenly ached. She hoped that Gechick's child was able to survive and somehow make it out of that battle alive.

"That goddess has to be connected to the Red Strings somehow," Audrey said. Despite them going through a strange entanglement themselves and passing out for several hours, the twin moons were still in the air, looking after them. "The original Red Strings, I think, were some forms of power meant to seal away some monster in the Abyss of this world. The Big Bad, the end of every—"

"Audrey," Madoka barely whispered, stopping the girl from spiraling into a maddened state. The glowing hand of hers gripped tightly around the maid's arm.

"I can't help but think the Red Strings have been cut already, and mine since the original Elise died has been long gone since," Audrey finally moved her other hand and rubbed her temples. "The goddess was inside that tower, sacrificing herself to protect someone. I don't have all the pieces yet, but I'm certain we'll find the answers the next time the flying spaghetti dragon monster scoops us up. That being, you know."

Her fingers shot up and pointed to the sky. The shadow of the Uracksheegal had disappeared in the veil of the clouds. Madoka knew that it would soon be seen once again, but did not press for anything further. That Sky Beast, the One Above, was either in the middle of the Circle of the Labyrinth like Kanys spoke of or its entrance would be only by going through the Walk. She imagined it would be a portal or something similar. Instead, she decided to finally confront that awful dream head on. After all, there were some things she could not use Magnolia or her brute strength on. She needed perspective.

"I keep having dreams of you," Madoka finally admitted.

"Oh?" Audrey suddenly became attentive, lowering her voice in an attempt to sound romantic. Madoka groaned. "Has my charm finally won you over?"

You've already had me from the start, Madoka thought, but she did not admit it. Instead, she shook her head and took a deep breath.

"I dreamed of you, but it was not you," Madoka struggled to say anything about it, yet she did not know why she wanted to hide her incoming knowledge filtering through from the Crystal's influence. She decided to frame it in a different way. "I was on a… train, you told me, facing you and we were running away from your…"

She choked and did not dare speak those wretched animals' relationship with Audrey. The Princess's eyes, once rapt with flirtation, instantly darkened into a cold stare. There was no room to back out now, nor did she need her to command her to elaborate her dreams. This was the oppressive look of a Royal.

"You were running away from your parents on a train, telling me you severed all ties with them and you know what you're doing," Madoka took a shaky breath, as if she was drowning and got a small gasp for air before getting swept away under. "The second dream, you were… getting bullied, but you didn't care or speak at all during it. You stared right at me and then asked me if I… Knew who I was in that dream. When I saw my reflection In that bathroom mirror, I realized I wasn't me inside of it. I didn't even know who I was."

Dead silence filled the air, until a pair of hands dropped to Her Highness's side and the muffled ruffling of cloth hung between them as if it echoed. Audrey's eyes suddenly went wide with shock as she stood there, looking at Madoka as if she was a ghost.

"It can't be…" Audrey suddenly clutched her head and huddled down. Sobs started to blot the wooden floor and soon she was shaking uncontrollably.

"Audrey?" Madoka immediately knelt to her level and held the girl steady. What should she do? "This is all my fault, I—"

Audrey stopped shuddering and crying abruptly, nearly freezing her to the ground. Under the moonlight, her reddened eyes shut Madoka up instantly. She felt like burying herself under rubble and never showing her face to Her Highness ever again. As if the world wanted to expose her sins to everyone, the moons above were quickly sinking to give room to the sun's early rays of light.

"I— You— It's her!" Audrey barely managed to speak above a whisper. Madoka could not even utter anything herself. Adjusting her voice, the princess finally managed to speak in a chilling tone and deliver a horrifying revelation.

"You weren't just dreaming, Madoka. You were speaking to Her Highness, Elise Herself. In my body. My original body."

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