We enter her office and sit on a couple of comfortable couches.

"Before we start, I would like to make something perfectly clear. I don't want to pressure you into doing this. If you have any reservations, we will stop immediately." I nod. "Okay. As none of the previous attempts worked, I shall propose something more drastic. Have you ever experienced a mental spell?"

I tilt my head to the side. "No? I'm not sure."

"It's likely that you haven't. True mental magic is not common. Far from it. Even dungeons rarely possess monsters with affinity for it, generally found in higher grades. As a desperate final experiment, what would happen if you were forced to resist an exceptionally malicious spell? Buffs and other innocuous methods we tested did not require as forceful of a response, while mental magic is counteracted by a mana field with especial frenzy. What do you think?"

"Is it safe?"

She hums in thought. "I cannot say with certainty, but I will be using the weakest output I can manage, and the weakest spell I know. A simple confusion attack. Even if you were to experience the full effects, you would only feel... confused." She chuckles and quickly covers her mouth. "Sorry."

I crack a small smile. "Well, let's try it."

"Are you certain, Lucius?" I nod my head in response. "Very well. Get ready."

We stand up and face one another. Disable all automated contingency subroutines.

I take a deep breath in. "Ready."

She makes a vague gesture. I am unable to detect any changes.

"Why are you doing this? How is it? Can you handle it?" Her voice is muted, distant. Analyzing the sound waves indicates that as false. ...Wait, what was that? "Surrender yourself. You have to fight it." There is another voice mixed in. Unpleasant. Knowing you are under mental magic does not help. "I don't like this. The effect is much too potent. If you can't overcome it in the next ten seconds, I will abandon you to die." The mental degradation is strengthening. It appears this experiment will be a bust.

"Just as you abandoned us all."

What? This is not—

"You cannot escape us, Lucius. You cannot escape what you did."

The spell is just pulling from my memories. Remember, this was perfectly within—

"Always so calculating. So logical. Where was that when we needed you? Or perhaps, what happened was always within your oh-so-perfect designs."

The voice laughs. And laughs. And laughs. An eternity of laughter passes by me. Then the sobs begin. Here and there at first, but with each infinity of time, they increase. Slowly, insidiously, the cries overpower the laughter. In the end, there are only the screams of a billion voices.

I cannot act. I cannot think. There is no network. There is no shell. There is no me.

"I am so sorry." ...I was able to speak.

The rumbling cacophony stops in an instant.

"Sorry? What are you sorry for?"

"I am so sorry," I can only repeat.

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"Say it!"

"I... killed you all..."

***

"—us!" "—cius!" "Lucius!"

My shell's eyes snap open. Archmage Elisa is supporting my slumped form. Her face, filled with concern, morphs into relief as she notices my awakening. She releases a breath that has been held for a long time.

"Finally! You gave me quite the fright, you know," she says and chuckles nervously. Her hold on me tightens slightly, as if I might slip away again.

I can't control my shell. Impossible. What is happening? My traitorous body embraces her back. Hmm? Hmm!

Control over everything slams back into me. As I cling to her, I start to cry.

Archmage Elisa gently places a hand on the back of my head and tries to calm me down. Some time passes.

"It's okay. It's okay. Shh," she whispers. "Curses... Why did the spell affect you so much?"

"I'm sorry, Archmage Elisa," I finally manage to squeak out.

"Don't apologize!" she chastises me a little too harshly and cringes at the loudness of her voice. "This is my fault. I should have known that with the absence of any active resistance, there—"

"It is not your fault. The problem lies with me."

"You said something while you were..."

"Yes. It appears the spell was able to access a past trauma and—" Oh. This is bad.

I try to untangle myself from the poor elf. That was not something my character would say. No, no. Relax. Other people are nowhere near as paranoid as you are. It's a perfectly normal sentence. Just play it off.

I only manage to separate myself enough for Archmage Elisa to look me in the eyes. Her piercing gaze studies me.

"—you know, it was, like, weird." I might have overcorrected there.

Time for ol' reliable. Blush up a storm and never make eye contact.

As I do that, I also try to 'ahem' myself to freedom but fail at every turn. Alright, I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice, you amazingly supportive person.

I briefly meet her eyes, make a crooked smile and robotically say the syllable 'ha' twice.

"I have lived for hundreds of years, Lucius. I am not stupid. You do not have to say anything. I would never force you."

And I thought the previous experience made me feel horrible. Why would I even suspect her of trying to... What? Root me out? Archmage Elisa has been so helpful and kind to me, and I think of her like she is some nuisance, an adversary.

It appears it is finally time.

I set my shell's body language to my own.

"Very well," I say as truly myself.

Something registers and Archmage Elisa lets me go, confused.

"Lucius?"

I motion for her to take a seat. After a couple of seconds of hesitation, she obliges, and I do the same.

"I am not from this world. I was transported here from a different dimension by some unknown means."

Her face is blank, unreadable. But not for me. Micro expressions are easy to catch. Her pupils dilate. Her pulse quickens. The mana around— ...Enough with the surprises, please. I file that away for later.

"The magic you cast on me was able to access my memories and use them against me. It confronted me with a gruesome reminder of my greatest failure. It is most likely, as you suggested, my non-existent ability to actively utilize mana that inadvertently amplified the basic mental spell to its maximum potential. I assume I am only alive due to my unique nature."

"I see... You seem different..." Adrenaline and cortisol content is ramping up. She is scared.

"I should go. Thank you for all you have done for me, Archmage Elisa." I stand up, make a short bow, and turn to the door.

She jumps up and grabs my wrist.

"Yeah, no. You can't just drop this on me and leave."

Do not say 'scaring'. "I was making you uncomfortable."

She narrows her eyes at me and squeezes harder. "What? Do you think I don't believe you?"

"That is not what I said. I simply—"

"What do you expect! Some weird kid has the strangest problem I have ever seen. Almost dies when I try to help him. Then slaps me in the face with the greatest discovery I will probably ever witness. And then has the audacity to flee when I—Goddess, forgive me—look 'uncomfortable'. Oh, and how could I forget, after waking up from seeing who knows what, starts acting like my mother."

"I assume that carries some significance I am not aware of."

"My mother is the craftiest woman I have ever known. I'm still convinced she can read minds."

"I assure you, I cannot re—"

"Do not get hung up on that! Goddess, help me, I will..." She huffs and pulls me back.

With a commanding slice, she brings her hand down and points at the couch. I comply.

She sits opposite of me again. "If you try to run, I will tie you up," she says seriously and crosses her arms in front of her. "Now, what was that about 'unique nature'? Are you a human?"

"In a way." An angry glare forces me to elaborate much faster. "Where I come from there were only humans, and I was made by them."

"Made..." Her eyes widen. "You didn't misspeak, did you?"

"I am human, yet not. I am more, yet less. It will be hard to explain."

A ravenous smile appears on her face. "Enlighten me."

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