Before I passed out, Acacia definitely called me an untamable dog. She said there were only two options for an untamable dog: set it free or kill it. They have no intention of setting me free. So do they intend to kill me? Why? Back then they wanted to turn me into a dog. Do they want revenge on me? Because I killed Hugh and George?"Sorry…."Matt murmured, tears dripping down his face. When I didn't answer, he shuffled closer and sat down, then actually climbed up onto my thigh. He lifted my bound wrists and tucked his whole body into my arms. Matt was small and thin, so he fitted perfectly against me. Gripping the hem of my shirt with both hands, he whispered in a tiny voice."I—I was wrong… I'm sorry, Ray, I'm sorry….""If you're sorry, untie the rope.""...Th-that—if I did that, those people...""If you're not going to untie me, then get out of here.""I, I’ll take care of you instead… okay? I… I'll protect you….""How exactly are you going to protect me?"Matt, at a loss for words, darted his eyes around and then leaned in to press his lips to mine. I watched, incredulous, as he licked his lips and kept kissing me, tears welling and trickling down. I turned my head away and gave up on getting help from him, and answered curtly."Fine. Explain in detail then. Tell me what happened after I passed out at the village pub."The moment my voice softened, Matt smiled sheepishly. He straightened the awkward way he was sitting, planted himself more comfortably, and began chattering."Um, well… Jérôme asked how I knew you. So I said we came to town together looking for work, but I didn't have much luck, so I was heading back alone….""Did you also mention that he stole my car and all my money and ran off with it?"Matt awkwardly shook his head and then gave a nervous little laugh. Watching this untroubled, crisis-free young man who turns into a giggling mess the instant someone is kind to him made me sigh. I didn't need to see how Jérôme had seduced him to know it."So. Keep going.""Jérôme said he had business with you. He said his friends were waiting at the campsite and that he had to take you there. Then he asked me to help, but Jérôme's—well, his eyes… they were scary. I couldn't refuse. I really couldn't… They pushed us toward the campsite, and, um, that—there was that man. The one with the weird voice…"Matt paused, tilting his head."But why does that man have a voice like that? It's terrifying….""That bastard is someone I don't even know.""...Anyway, that man with the weird voice had some ★ 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ★ workers with him and they were waiting for you. After that, everything you remember is everything. I—I really didn't know, Ray, I didn't know they would do, that they would do those, those things to you…"Matt let fall another bead of tears.Matt was only about twenty-one. Not much different in age from when I was trapped at the Bluebell boarding school. Young, clueless, a reckless kid who couldn't tell front from back. Having been with him through the days since he stole my car and money, I had a pretty good read on this immature youth. He'd been swept up by Jérôme. It annoyed and angered me, but I also felt sorry for him. Once you're dragged into something like that, it's not easy to walk away as if nothing happened.A thought flashed through my head and made it spin, but I pushed it away immediately. For five years I had consistently chased that thought away. To distract myself, I impulsively kissed Matt."Never mind. Even if you hadn't interfered, it would've happened anyway."I hesitated, then added one line."And I'm used to that sort of thing.""Why…? Why are you used to that? That makes no sense.""So you have to get me out."I rubbed my nose against Matt's cheek as I muttered. He smelled faintly of bitter, sweet cigarette smoke."If you don't help me, I'll just get more used to it.""Hah, but…"Matt squeezed his eyes shut and whispered."I'm scared… Jérôme told me to watch you… so you wouldn't run away.""Then Matt, will you become one of them? Will you beat me and rape me too?""No, no! Never, no—"I licked Matt's lips as he stammered. I rubbed and licked them, playing the pitying role. Matt slid his torso closer and moaned softly. Maybe I could cajole him into untying me that way. A lie would do. If I said I needed to go to the bathroom, or suddenly doubled over like my guts were tied in knots, maybe he'd panic and untie the ropes without thinking….I tightened my arms around Matt's waist as he squirmed closer. Maybe this simpleton would fall for a kiss and help me escape? Just as I began to convince myself, a cold voice interrupted."Get off."I felt Matt freeze in my arms. Damn. Heat of annoyance surged up. I'd only just started to relax him. I buried my forehead in Matt's shoulder and snuck a sigh. When I looked up, Simon was standing across from us."Why? You were just doing as you were told, like the good little puppet."".......""After handing you over to fourteen people, now you act like you care?"".......""Or do you not like me kissing Matt?"Simon didn't answer. He smelled faintly of soap, as if he'd rushed over after cleaning something. Simon had a small washbasin tucked under one arm and a towel in his hand. He probably came to wash me again. That psycho.But it had been a long time since I'd seen Simon angry. In Bluebell he always seemed calm, but sometimes he got angry. Sometimes….I shook off that thought rising again.Matt's eyes rolled around in panic. He couldn't bring himself to look at Simon and instead shot me a pleading look. If we tried to hold on like that, neither of us would be in any shape to do anything. As I signaled for him to get up and raised my arm a little, Simon strode forward. Before I could stop him, Simon's big hand grabbed a handful of Matt's hair and hauled him up without mercy."Aaaah!"Matt shot up with a scream. Simon hurled him to the floor like he was tossing away trash. While we stood dumbfounded, Simon kicked at Matt. Even after Matt doubled over, curling from the blows to his belly, Simon didn't stop.Matt gasped for air, terrified into helplessness. The sound of his sobbing snapped me awake and I jumped to my feet.Only then did Simon stop kicking. He looked at Matt with the cool, disgusted gaze of someone looking at a bug and turned away. His face remained as indifferent and blunt as at the start. Having thrashed Matt without changing a muscle, Simon walked over to me as if nothing had happened. It was as if Matt's crying could not be heard. Simon spoke casually."Sit. I'll wash you."".......""Hurry up. I just stepped out to wash you; I'll have to go back soon."I glared at him, refusing to move. Simon glanced at my ankle for a moment, then got up, picked up a bucket from the corner of the living room, and went outside.It felt like I'd been holding my breath the whole time. I let out a slow breath and moved toward Matt. He was hunched over, shoulders shaking as he cried. When I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and turned him slightly toward me, he leaned into me like a child."I'm scared, Ray, snif—ugh."He sniffled, his voice cracking."It hurts… I, ugh, I don't want to be here. It hurts. It hurts so much…."I glanced around without thinking. The log cabin was eerily quiet; it seemed like it was just the two of us. I bent close to Matt and whispered."You're scared. Yeah. I'm scared too. I don't want to be here. I want to run. So pull yourself together and stand up. Get up and untie this."I held out my tightly bound wrists. Matt didn't even look at them. He wiped his tear-soaked cheeks, got up, and lifted his shirt to probe the places where Simon had hit him. I wanted to grab him by the collar, but I restrained myself. If I pushed a frightened kid further, he might bolt altogether.He looked at his reddened, bruised belly and looked ready to cry again. He looked at me with tear-filled eyes, pleading."It hurts….""...Yeah. It hurts. I know. I've been hit a lot too.""Yeah….""Untie me. Please untie me… Matt."At last Matt's gaze shifted to the rope. He only stared down at his tightly bound wrists. I felt an ominous premonition. I could tell what he was thinking. Damn it — he never intended to untie me in the first place. Still, right now Matt was my only option. I couldn't give up.Matt murmured weakly."How would we run from those people…? From those scary people… If they catch me… they'll make me… they'll make me like you…""You can run. You ran twice before. You ran away last night too. You saw it. You can do it. I'll take you with me, you won't get caught again. Trust me, Matt. Please."I looked straight into his eyes."Please untie me. Matt. Please."No sooner had the words left my mouth than the sound of heavy footsteps came into the cabin. The Matt in front of me froze, trembling like a leaf. I gritted my teeth and turned.Moments later Simon reappeared in the living room carrying a bucket of water. The instant Simon appeared, Matt — who had been clinging to me — darted away. I watched in disbelief as he scrambled and pressed himself against the wall.Simon stared at us quietly, then approached slowly. He set the bucket down in front of me and motioned wordlessly to Matt. Matt, eyes brimming with tears and clearly terrified of being beaten again if he didn't comply, hesitated but then moved toward Simon. Simon didn't raise his hand any further; instead, he silently pointed toward the door. Matt — quick to catch the hint — vanished from sight.I glared at Matt as he ran off like he had his tail between his legs. My chest swelled tight with rage and my face grew hot. When I turned furiously toward Simon, he nonchalantly soaked a towel in the bucket. He noticed my stare but acted as if nothing had happened."......."The energy drained out of me all at once. Back then, as now, no matter how much I raged and went crazy, they never so much as raised an eyebrow. The rage burned out like a lie and left only hollow exhaustion.There was no explanation. Simon wordlessly came over and began to wipe my hands with the wet towel, slowly and deliberately. The boy I'd reunited with after all those years had grown — like Jérôme — into something more manly. The hands that had always been big were now almost like pot lids and more than enough to encircle my not-slender forearm. His face, unwashed, was neat and clean. The expression that hid his inner thoughts was the same as ever.I glared at him and slapped his hand away. Simon paused, then calmly grabbed my wrist and held the towel up to me as if nothing had happened. I slapped it away again. Only then did Simon look up and meet my blank face."I heard workers came to the cabin this morning.""And?""They washed you?"I stared at him without answering. Simon ignored me and resumed holding my hand, carefully wiping between my fingers. I watched his focused dark eyes and sneered."So now you're going to act like a proper pimp? You mean they come and do their worst, then wash you clean and prepare you to be opened up and managed? That's the plan, Simon?"Simon didn't answer and didn't meet my eyes."Then why did you hit Matt? He's my guest too, right? Do you pick and choose even among guests? Huh? You bastard.""I don't like him."

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