I finally burst through the last line of screaming trees and skidded into a wide clearing, still cackling like the unhinged menace I proudly was.

And there, dead centre, stood Annalise.

For a brief, stupid moment, I actually thought:

Oh hey, good, someone I know! Someone who is actually competent! Someone who might be fun to annoy!

Then she looked at me.

Made eye contact.

And immediately flipped me off.

Both hands.

Like she'd been waiting for the opportunity.

I stopped laughing.

"…wow," I muttered. "Rude."

Honestly, I was kind of impressed. She didn't even hesitate. Not a flinch. Not a blink. Just pure, concentrated middle finger energy launched directly at my soul. Annalise was giving pure 'Born to be a maiden, forced to be someone who gave others rude hand gestures'.

Truly, this went to show how good her manipulation abilities were.

Anyway, the horde of giant monkey abominations behind me was getting louder, so I tore my gaze away from her... two fingers only to freeze again.

Because the hundreds of blue strings filling the air pulsed.

Twisted.

Braided.

And in less than a heartbeat of pure suspense, they condensed into a gleaming blue sword the size of my entire childhood trauma.

She raised it slowly.

Calmly.

Like she was about to perform a gentle operation instead of what I knew knew, was going to be a violent, skull-cracking assault.

I had exactly one thought:

Nope.

I also had exactly one strategy:

Scream for backup.

Lucky for me, my D-rank senses had already pinged Nora and Kent barreling in our direction. They weren't close enough to see me yet, but close enough to hear the absolute desperation in my voice.

So I inhaled and screamed.

"NORA!! KENT!!"

Not even a second passed before...

BOOM.

FLASH.

Two people teleported directly into the clearing beside Annalise like I'd just summoned them with a friendship-based emergency beacon. It truly looked like a scene from a shitty anime where the power of friendship saved the day.

Nora almost fell over from the sudden arrival.

Kent looked like he wanted to file a complaint with the universe.

Annalise?

She turned toward them.

And smiled.

Sweetly.

Softly.

Gently.

Like a loving, benevolent mother greeting her children.

I felt a shiver crawl up my spine.

Because even from 500 meters away, yes, I checked, even with branches whipping my face and giant ass monkey monsters screaming behind me, I could feel the existential dread radiating off those two.

Kent's soul visibly left his body.

Nora's knees buckled for half a second.

They were both re-evaluating their life choices.

Probably their past choices.

Definitely their future ones.

Honestly? I couldn't blame them.

If Annalise smiled at me like that, I'd start confessing crimes I hadn't even committed yet. Remind me to never offend her again.

I slowed down just enough to shout across the clearing:

"I told you she was rude!"

Annalise slowly raised her blue sword.

Her smile didn't fade.

The forest behind me roared.

And for the first time since the exam started, I thought about how this might have been a slightly bad idea...

I didn't wait for Annalise to finish deciding whether she wanted to murder me or simply maim me.

Nope.

I vanished.

One instant I was standing five hundred meters away, the next...

BOOM.

A shockwave blasted outward from where I had been standing.

The ground cracked open like a watermelon breaking apart, caved in like the dent in your head, and turned into a smoking crater. I don't know how to describe a smoking crater, but I'm sure you can guess.

And I reappeared right in front of the group in a single, stupidly dramatic leap.

I landed with enough force to send leaves fluttering and Kent stumbling a half-step back and the grace of a man spider hybrid superhero.

"Hi," I said cheerfully. "Miss me?"

They in fact did not miss me.

Not even a little.

They hurt the poor old me.

The thunder of the charging horde grew louder five seconds away.

Maybe four.

Perfect.

I grinned, pointed behind me with all the pride of a man unveiling a masterpiece, and announced:

"Look at the gift I brought you."

Silence.

Complete, judgment-heavy silence.

All three of them stared at me like I'd just told them I collect toenails for fun.

Then Kent's expression shifted.

Slowly.

Unnaturally.

And he smiled.

A smile even more deranged than mine.

He summoned his reaper scythe in a crack of violet mana, the curved blade glowing with malicious joy and silver depression.

"Oh," he whispered, "I like your gift."

I blinked. "Oh gods, you're worse than me."

Nora sighed like a disappointed mother, summoned her immaculate silver rapier, and flicked a monster's blood off the blade even though there was none on it yet.

How does that work?

"Why," she groaned, "why are my friends like this?"

"Because the universe loves you enough that it starts hating you?" I said helpfully.

Nora didn't respond.

Annalise still hadn't moved.

She was frozen in that perfect stance, blue strings swirling around her, sword raised delicately like she was rehearsing the best way to concuss me.

Three seconds left.

A tree exploded somewhere behind me.

Two seconds.

Kent spun his scythe and started giggling.

One second.

Nora muttered something about regretting every decision she'd ever made that led her to meeting us.

I love her too.

Then Annalise inhaled, exhaled, and finally spoke.

"Go out, they said," she muttered in the deadpan voice of a woman utterly done with existence. "You'll meet new people, they said. And what do I get? A lunatic,"...she pointed her sword at me ", an idiot" she flicked her eyes at Kent, who waved cheerfully "...and a fangirl princess."

Nora gasped. "Hey—!"

I burst into laughter.

Loud, unrestrained, absolutely feral laughter.

"Oh gods," I wheezed, "I love you guys."

The forest behind us erupted as the horde finally reached the clearing.

The world went chaotic.

And the monsters descended upon us.

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