I cleared my throat dramatically as we stepped deeper into the cave, the darkness curling around us like a living thing. Naturally, as a man of culture, genius, and unmatched narrative talent, I began to speak.

"And so," I declared loudly, my voice echoing against the stone walls, "the great adventurer Sebastian Nekros strode bravely into the terrifying, gaping, mouth-like cave—his party of dead-weight idiots dragging their sorry feet behind him."

Nora groaned instantly.

Excellent.

My audience was already emotionally invested.

I kept going.

"The shadows trembled in fear," I said, waving an arm upward like I was reciting an epic written by a drunk bard, "for they knew the unmatched power of the magnificent Sebastian, whose brilliance illuminated even the darkest—"

"Sebastian," Nora muttered. "Stop."

I absolutely did not.

"...whose immaculate footsteps graced the ancient stone, while his companions—weak, foolish, slow—"

"Sebastian." Her tone sharpened.

I grinned into the dark.

"continued to be the heaviest burdens known to mankind. Truly, their mediocrity was legendary."

"Sebastian," she snapped, louder this time. "Shut. Up."

I gasped and raised one hand like a dramatic stage actor performing for an audience of thousands.

"Alas!" I cried. "The great adventurer's dead-weight princess has commanded him to silence! And though her words are unworthy of his divine ears, he, being merciful and humble—"

"You're not humble," she hissed.

"he, being merciful and humble," I repeated proudly, "shall heed her desperate plea and grant her the precious gift of peace and quiet."

I paused.

"Temporarily."

Nora groaned again.

Sacha(who magically appeared on my shoulder) giggled like a child overdosed on...candy.

I strutted forward, satisfied with my performance.

The cave widened.

After several more minutes of walking, the already giant passage began to open up, the ceiling climbing higher and higher until the tunnel suddenly gave way to a massive chamber. I slowed, blinking at the unexpected burst of pale silver light.

Above us, a jagged hole ripped open the ceiling, perfectly positioned to let the moon's glow spill into the darkness. Moonlight poured down in a soft column, illuminating the floor like a natural spotlight in the center of the cavern. Dust motes drifted lazily through the beam, sparkling like tiny stars suspended in midair.

The chamber itself was enormous, easily large enough to fit a small castle. Stalagmites jutted from the ground like ancient stone spears, while stalactites hung overhead, sharp and dripping

The shadows between them twisted and stretched, creating shapes that almost resembled animals.

Or monsters.

Hard to tell.

The walls were lined with narrow ridges, carved by centuries of dripping water, each one glimmering faintly in the moonlight like silver veins. Pools of still water reflected the glow upward, making the chamber feel both ethereal and ominous at once.

I whistled softly.

"Well," I murmured, "if I die here, at least it's scenic."

Nora stepped beside me, eyeing the moonlit column. "It's… beautiful, actually."

"Obviously," I said. "Every location I, the great adventurer Sebastian Nekros, step into becomes instantly more beautiful."

She slowly turned her head toward me.

I immediately cleared my throat.

"And I will now be… quiet again."

Sacha snorted.

We moved forward together, the faint echo of our footsteps mixing with the quiet drip of water, walking into the heart of the cave, unaware of what would be waiting for us next. When I stopped walking.

Didn't announce it.

Didn't warn them.

Just planted my feet in the moonlit chamber and let the silence ring for a moment.

The air was crisp, cold, and damp.

A little too quiet.

"Alright," I said, still facing forward. "This is a good place to camp for the night."

I heard Nora open her mouth, probably to argue, but I cut her off by turning around slowly, dramatically.

The kind of turn that said I'm about to delegate, and you all better accept your roles like the good little students you are.

My eyes landed on Annalise first.

She stood there with her usual serene, slightly unsettling expression, faint blue strings already drifting lazily around her like the ghostly tentacles of a jellyfish that had decided to become humanoid.

"Annalise," I said, hands on my hips. "Spread your strings around the entire chamber. And the tunnels. And the ceiling. And the weird, shadowy corners. Everywhere. I do not want to wake up inside the slimy stomach of a goat monster."

She raised a brow and scoffed.

"I was already doing that, Sebastian," she said, her tone dripping with that special Annalise-brand passive-aggressive serenity. "Because unlike some people here, I'm not trying to die."

I nodded once.

Firmly.

"Good. Excellent initiative. Very proud."

She blinked at me like she wasn't sure if I was being serious.

I was. For once.

Next target: Kent.

He stiffened the second my gaze landed on him, probably because he knew—knew—I was about to give him a job he'd overthink into the next century.

"Traps," I said, pointing at him like a teacher calling on the least prepared student. "Set some up with your spatial mana. Nothing crazy. Just something that teleports any approaching… creature, monster, entity, existential horror, whatever—like five, ten meters away. Enough to alert us that something got past Annalise's detection."

Kent blinked. "You want me to… teleport them?"

"Short distance," I repeated. "Just a reality hop. A tiny hiccup. A boop. A nudge of physics."

"But—"

"Kent." I leaned in slightly. "You're literally a walking portal. This is your moment to glow."

He opened his mouth. Closed it. Nodded slowly with the hesitant determination of a man who finally understood the assignment.

"Okay… I'll, uh… boop them."

"Good man."

Then finally, inevitably, Nora.

She was already glaring at me.

She didn't know her job yet, but her soul knew.

Her instincts knew.

Her ancestors probably whispered warnings in her genetic memory the moment I turned her direction.

I smiled.

"Nora," I said gently.

Her eye twitched.

"Start a fire for us."

She exhaled. "Okay, that's reasonable."

"Since," I continued, sealing my fate, "you are the torch of the group."

The vein that popped in her forehead could've been used to anchor a bridge.

For a moment, I genuinely thought she was going to set me on fire instead. The small flame forming in her palm flickered dangerously brighter, hotter.

I raised my hands. "Hey, hey, look. You're good at it. You're a literal celestial powerhouse. We all have our roles in life."

"My role," she muttered, "is not being your personal lantern."

"Of course not," I said solemnly. "You are also my oven, my stove, and occasionally my flamethrower."

She inhaled sharply through clenched teeth, the possibility of her killing me rising higher and higher with each word that left my mouth, but alas, she was a princess, someone who was supposed to be a role model.

I smiled wider.

Then she forced the urge to commit homicide deep, deep down inside herself and stomped off to start the fire. The flame swirling in her hand hissed like a furious cat.

Within minutes, the chamber came alive with activity: Annalise's strings drifting like a protective web, Kent carving tiny spatial distortions into the ground, Nora coaxing fire into existence, and me…

Supervising.

As any great leader would.

A/N: Just one more chapter and then the new priv level "I'm lazy" will be complete. Have fun reading.

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