I Have a Dice Left by a God

Chapter 46: Sadness of the Faceless Man


Mist Continent, outskirts of Divpo City, the dim and solitary Lighthouse No. 108, the light atop the lighthouse burns brightly, indicating the Lightkeeper of this place is faring quite well.

The light of the lighthouse is divided into two parts: one part is from the tip at the top, forged from special Spiritual Ability crystals bestowed with the blessing of the Three-phase God, emitting a light that intimidates the abyss and wards off evil invasion. The other part is the lighthouse torch, which is the Lightkeeper's duty; it's the torch that extinguishes, and once it goes out, the city will send a new Lightkeeper to take over.

Batty is alive, but now he feels worse than facing death. He thinks he's about to go insane, as he steps closer to the abyss. He fears no physical pain, nor any form of enemy; death is salvation, liberation. But he finds his soul uncontrollably adrift, his mind unable to dispel what he's heard and seen under that starlit sky, and that phrase, haunting like a curse, has summoned doubt about everything he endures.

The ingrained thoughts instilled since birth are deep-rooted, yet instinctively, the free thought is so tempting and penetrating, gradually eroding his mind. And the occasional murmur adds to the mental burden—once self-contradiction and self-consumption begin, the murmur will invade even more severely.

Batty has heard many signs of a Fallen within Roto's camp—this is the most obvious kind. Falling is the abyss demon excavating human desire and evil, step by step doubting everything, eventually willingly transforming into a ghoul, a lapdog of the abyss, massacring his own kin.

His kin, his sister, whenever he thinks of Aisha, Batty's gaze becomes resolute; he can die, but he must not become a Fallen, for this would implicate Aisha.

Batty looks at the scene outside the lighthouse with some nostalgia. As a Warrior, he originally hoped to die amidst battle and wants to see Aisha one last time.

Batty quietly tidied the lighthouse from top to bottom, refilled the black oil of the torch, but he ended up causing trouble for Divpo City.

In Batty's hand appeared a glowing Black Saber; after glancing one last time at the outside world, he murmured, "Aisha, live well, be happy."

Then, without hesitation, he plunged the Black Saber into his heart, crimson blood gushed wildly, the body softly falling, blood seeping into the gray stone beneath, as his soul was about to be extinguished, Batty's mind resonated with that phrase: Mr. Leo...

He laughed.

In the monastery, Estella praying continuously in the Hall of All Lives could hardly suppress the restlessness in her heart. She... really wasn't suited for ascetic practices, although she didn't dislike such a life, but her vibrant nature trapped here, complaining daily to the divine, it seems even the deity would tire.

Thus Estella sought the Nun Director Alasha; Alasha seemed to have anticipated Estella's arrival, in the mere simple room, Alasha boiled a pot of water and poured Estella a cup.

"Estella, have you experienced any revelations recently?" Alasha inquired.

Estella stuck out her tongue, "Master, truth or lie?"

"I want to hear it all," Alasha waved a sleeve, the sleeve was empty, and the nun was remarkably thin.

"Truth, quiet places allow me to think a lot, clarify my thoughts; lies, I seem to perceive the divine's will," said Estella.

"Oh, that's wonderful, regardless of truth or lie, it's all the arrangement of supreme will, tell me about it?" Estella smiled slightly.

"I want to go out and see, truly experience, feel the real world," Estella said, "Master, whether as a devout believer or the Princess of the Kingdom, staying enclosed in a fabricated world witnessing and hearing falsity, what am I?"

"What you feel holds reality, why say it's false?"

"What I do, it's not my truth, I deem this unreal; if I am, I wish to verify through my own eyes, my own experiences, rather than being told a 'true' forcefully understood. Grand Scholar Vladimir often says all knowledge detached from experience is pseudo-knowledge—I believe faith is, too," said Estella earnestly, pondering over how to converse this with her master, endlessly during meditation.

Headmistress Alasha wasn't surprised, "I once had a disciple, also your and Jialan's senior, very outstanding, deeply devoted. At a certain stage of practice, she requested to descend the mountain for training."

At this point, Alasha seemed immersed in reminiscence, it was the first time Estella heard of having a senior sister, surely this was the master's final disciple, "And then? What happened to her?"

"Two years after leaving the mountain gate, she suddenly returned one day—came to bid me farewell. She said she found the path she wanted to take, and never returned," said Sister Alasha.

Estella didn't quite understand, "Are you saying she betrayed her faith?"

Sister Alasha looked at Estella, "Yes, and no. She no longer accepted the monastery's belief but walked an unknown path, doing deeds defying humanity. Estella, subverting everything is extremely painful—that is shredding the soul and reconstructing it. Are you sure you want to take this step?"

Estella didn't know what her senior sister experienced or what she did, but it was her decision, regret for a moment or a lifetime is distinctly clear, "Yes, Master, I continually reflect on this matter, I wish to try, no, I must venture out!"

Sister Alasha stood up, "Follow me then."

Estella grew excited, leaving the Royal Palace was utterly imponderable. Elder brother and second brother were terrified, Grandmaster Vladimir was greatly respected by Father but unlikely to meddle in palace affairs, only the uniquely positioned Withered Wood Monastery, this sacred land worshipping supreme will, might offer a way.

Estella followed Sister Alasha back to the familiar Hall of All Lives, its atmosphere still starkly cold akin to a mausoleum. Alasha's form suddenly soared, weightlessly suspended in air, approached a block, laid her withered as wood hand upon it, illuminating the runes; the door vanished, revealing a box inside.

Alasha brought the box to Estella's front; Estella quickly discerned it was crafted from the Wood of Life, but peculiarly, the feeling wasn't the same as those she'd seen before.

"Open it and see," Alasha said.

Expecting a challenge, the box opened effortlessly, inside quietly lay a pale human face—Estella felt unexpected yet not frightened.

Perhaps due to her nature, she was inherently not the type for timid Princesses, even thinking that more of a surprise would be exhilarating if something leapt out.

"It's a Secret Item, named Sadness of the Faceless Man. Wear it and you can alter appearance based on imagination," Alasha explained.

Estella instantly understood, it's the perfect tool for escape, "Thank you, Master!"

"This Secret Item has two critical notes to remember, choose a countenance and remember it, avoid frequent changes to prevent loss of self; usage shouldn't exceed two days, one day is optimal, the interval between uses is best more than the usage time."

"What if overused?" Estella curiously asked.

"Nothing will happen," said Alasha lightly.

Estella felt puzzled, "What's its side effect?"

This is an issue any Secret Item faces, the more efficacious, the harder to handle the risks.

"Wear it too long, and you'll forget yourself."

If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know < report chapter > so we can fix it as soon as possible.


Use arrow keys (or A / D) to PREV/NEXT chapter