Chapter 1313: LUO YAN'S SIDE

SHEN JI YUN watched Luo Yan's face after he spoke. The words didn't seem to reach him. His eyes were still somewhere else, still lost in whatever thoughts were running through his head. It hurt to see him like that. So he just pulled Luo Yan close again and held him. He pressed him against his chest and wrapped his arms tight around his back. He hoped that the warmth of his body could ease some of the sadness Luo Yan was carrying.

"Yan Yan, listen to me," Shen Ji Yun said quietly. "There was nothing you could have done differently. Nothing. What happened wasn't because of anything you did or didn't do. It was just something that couldn't be stopped." He paused, his voice softening even more. "And your grandfather would never want you to feel like this. You know that."

Luo Yan buried his face in Shen Ji Yun's shoulder. He knew, logically, that Shen Ji Yun was right. His brain understood that. But there was another part of him, the part that was hurting, that couldn't accept it. That part kept looking for a reason, something to hold on to, something that would make this make sense. And the only answer it could come up with was that it must have been his fault. He knew he shouldn't blame himself. He knew his grandfather wouldn't want that. But knowing and feeling were two different things.

Tears welled in his eyes. He squeezed them shut, desperate to keep them from falling. He didn't want to cry, not now, not while Shen Ji Yun was here trying so hard to comfort him.

Shen Ji Yun patted his back slowly, gently. The touch was so soft and careful that something inside Luo Yan just gave way. Then Shen Ji Yun spoke again.

"If you have to blame yourself, then fine. Blame yourself. But every time you do, I'll be right here telling you it's not your fault. Over and over, as many times as it takes. I don't care if you get sick of hearing it. I'd rather you be annoyed with me than keep carrying something that was never yours to carry."

Luo Yan blinked. He didn't know whether to cry or laugh hearing that. But hearing it broke through the last of his control and he finally couldn't stop his tears from falling.

"Then you better not l-leave my side," he mumbled into Shen Ji Yun's shoulder.

Shen Ji Yun's long fingers threaded through his hair, rubbing slow circles against his scalp. The pressure in Luo Yan's head eased just a little. He still felt heavy inside, but physically, at least, he felt a little better.

"You know I'm never going to leave you," Shen Ji Yun said softly.

A small smile finally appeared on Luo Yan's face. And he tightened his arms around Shen Ji Yun's waist.

***

Word of the Bai family patriarch's death spread quickly through the wealthy business circles in B City. It wasn't exactly a secret that Bai Zhen had been sick for years. Everyone who knew the family was aware of his condition. So when news of his passing came, it wasn't a complete shock to anyone. In truth, Bai Chen had been running all the family's business affairs for a long time now, and most people already considered him the actual head of the family. Still, Bai Zhen was the old patriarch. And those who knew the family understood they would need to attend the funeral and pay their respects.

The Bai family rented one hall of Babaoshan Funeral Home, one of the most prominent funeral and cremation facilities in the city. This was where Bai Zhen would be kept during the mourning period, where friends and family would come to pay their respects over the next several days. By tradition, the body would lie in the hall for three days before the last ceremony. During that time, the family would receive guests, accept condolences, and keep vigil. On the third day, the cremation would take place within the same facility.

The hall the family chose was large and open, with high ceilings and clean white walls. Near the front, an altar had been set up for the ceremony. A large photograph of Bai Zhen was in the center, framed in dark wood and surrounded by white flowers. On either side of the photo, tall arrangements of white lilies and chrysanthemums stood on metal stands. Incense burners sat at the base of the altar, thin trails of smoke rising slowly from the sticks placed there. And two white candles burned steadily on each side of the photo.

Below the altar, the coffin rested on a low platform draped in white cloth. A white silk banner hung above it, inscribed with gold characters honoring the departed. More flowers surrounded the base of the platform, creating a quiet boundary between the coffin and the space where visitors would stand.

Chairs lined the walls for guests who needed to rest. Near the entrance, a registration table had been set up for guests to sign in and leave condolence money in white envelopes. The room was arranged with care, allowing space for the family to stand near the altar and receive visitors.

Luo Yan looked at all of it and felt the heaviness settle back into his chest. Everything just reminded him again that his grandfather was really gone. Before he could let the sadness pull him under, he felt a gentle pinch on his hand.

He looked up and found Shen Ji Yun watching him. The other held his gaze steadily and said, "I'm here, Yan Yan."

The way he said it carried a simple message. He was telling Luo Yan that he would always be there, ready to pull him back whenever he fell. And true to what he had said that morning, Shen Ji Yun hadn't left his side since. Not once. Even when Luo Yan's father looked confused by his constant presence, Shen Ji Yun didn't waver. He just stayed right where he was.

By Luo Yan's side.

He smiled at Shen Ji Yun, the sadness in it less than before. "Thank you, Brother Ji Yun."

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