Today's Earth date: May 13, 1992

We should be in Bata by the end of the day tomorrow, we think. As far as we know, sea monsters are still an issue, so hopefully not too many folks died while Wilmond got his lessons.

We're camped at the edge of the desert as I write this. There's a stretch of road that runs right against the border. I am so thankful we don't have to go in there. The wind feels like having your face too close to fire. Sea monsters or no, I'll take the beaches of Bata over a desert any day.

-The Journal of Laszlo the Paladin

Iomallach's leadership–The Royal Scholars, the Defense Force, and the Governess–were aware of the Diagnostic Cube Wayne found under the arena. He informed them of it as soon as it was clear the fighting was over. His assumption was that they would protect the device and look for a way to reverse the effects of the were-virus override.

When he delivered the last bottle of the Elixir of the Moon to the library, Wayne was surprised to learn the city was considering using the Diagnostic Cube to give more people the were-virus.

While that sounded nefarious at first, Wayne found himself agreeing with their reasoning.

The townspeople knew that a cure was unlikely, and that bothered them surprisingly little. The majority of citizens either didn't mind turning into an animal at night or liked it so much that they stayed in animal form every hour of every day.

Wayne saw as much with his own eyes when he traveled through the city to deliver the elixir. At least half the population was out and about in their animal form, going through their day with as much normalcy as a city could so soon after a major conflict. While the Royal Scholars would still seek to replicate the Elixir of the Moon, the city was in the early stages of establishing a new holiday.

Once a year, Iomallach would intentionally reactivate the Diagnostic Cube, but only briefly. The event would be well-advertised so travelers who weren't interested in contracting the were-virus could safely leave town before the festival. Then, anyone who stayed because they wanted an animal form could have it.

The city was already making aggressive plans for handling an influx of tourists, anticipating that many people would visit Iomallach to see a town populated by were-denizens. If they were right about the appeal of contracting the virus, the city would also see a surge in new construction as the population grew. The reasoning went that if you wanted the were-virus, you probably also wanted to live nearby others who felt the same, so that annual were-festival would also be a welcome party of sorts.

Though all of that was surprising to Wayne, he had no problem with any of it. If that's what made people happy, then why not?

The city's current plan was to name the holiday after Laszlo in some fashion because his arrival saved the day. Several street artists hawked paintings and sketches of Laszlo the Paladin, Hero of Iomallach twice-over. Children imagined themselves as paladins when they played, and when women recognized Wayne, their next question was always if he could introduce them to Laszlo. Nobody mentioned the contributions of the Zeroes when they recounted the events of that day.

That was fine with Wayne. Less of a spotlight sounded nice to him.

When Wayne returned to the Blackwell estate, looking forward to a soak in the pool, he found Kenny waiting for him by the water, talking with Armond. In a rare deviation from her norm, she actually wore shoes instead of being barefoot.

"Heard y'all got to see Laszlo save the day," she said, smiling. "That must have been some show."

"It was for sure. Didn't know you were in town."

"As much as I enjoy your company, I'm here on business." Wayne thought he saw Kenny wink at him. "I was just tellin' Armond that I've been gathering up all the plane parts I can find."

"Does sound like a good opportunity for a collector."

"I was in the middle of sayin' that I actually aim to fix 'em up, or at least one of 'em. I came here to talk to you about it in the first place, but he was sayin' Vanilli is pretty handy?"

"He definitely is. You heard his boombox on our trip to the Dead Zone. He fixed that himself."

"Think he'd be interested in helpin' me?"

Armond expertly removed himself from the conversation and slipped away. Based on the speed of the dot on his HUD map, Wayne thought that Armond might have actually run away as soon as he was out of sight.

[chat]

W: Vanilli – Interested in messing with more Earth tech?

V: Yes

W: Awesome. It's Kenny's project. I'll get it set up and tell you more when we talk again.

V: Ok

A: If those two are ever alone, don't touch anything without wiping it down first.

V: Why

W: Fuck you, Armond.

A: Just looking out for a comrade.

[/chat]

"Let me know when and where, and I'll relay it to him. Also a chance he stops in while you're here."

"That's the other part of our talk," Kenny said. "Could you give me a hand gettin' all the scrap back to my workshop?"

"Probably, but are you sure you want to do all that work in Mudsville?"

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"Why wouldn't I?"

"Planes need a 'runway,' which is basically a big stretch of open, flat ground. The plane needs it to pick up speed to take off, and then needs that distance to slow down after a landing."

"Not a lot o' that in the Cuts."

Wayne nodded. "That was my thought."

"Shit, Wayne, I ain't rich like you, though."

After some thinking, Wayne proposed that she use the warehouse Fergus rented for their Iomallach train station and Quick Gate. Getting airplane parts there would be easier in the long run, and Iomallach was surrounded on three sides by open plains. If she needed to build a runway, that was the easiest environment for it.

That setup would also be the most convenient for Vanilli, Wayne realized. Mudsville didn't have a Quick Gate, but Iomallach did, so no matter what town they were in, Vanilli could pop in to work with Kenny if he wanted.

With all of that settled, Wayne went with Kenny to collect airplane wreckage and carry it back to the warehouse.

The Zeroes hopped a Quick Gate to Vientuls to satisfy a very specific craving. They wanted to revisit the restaurant Vanilli introduced them to, and this was the exact kind of circumstance Fergus dreamed of using the network for. His favorite foods would never be too far away, especially when they finished adding a train station to every city in the world.

But Fergus wasn't here, and no one could say if he was running late or not coming at all. If he wasn't coming, then he was busy, and Wayne didn't want to interrupt his friend in the middle of something that required his attention with Voice or with their group chat.

The rest of the party was present, however. Drinks flowed, and the stack of empty plates grew.

"Does Earth have the same foods?" Vanilli asked Wayne.

"Most ingredients can be found in both worlds, but I've never had a dish that was exactly like something back home. Lots of things come close, but never exactly."

"Will you cook Earth food for us?"

Wayne laughed. "I mean, I'll try, but it also feels wrong to be the representative for Earth's culinary culture. I never really learned to cook."

"I've been wanting to ask you something like that," Margo said, joining the conversation. "Why don't you try to recreate stuff from your home? If a new world didn't have something I liked, I would definitely try to make it."

"Do you want the real answer or the answer that sounds really good?"

"We can start with the one that sounds really good."

Wayne smiled. "There is a story on Earth about humans exploring other planets, and these explorers had something they called 'the Prime Directive.' The idea was that space travel was a major milestone in a civilization's development, and introducing it too early would rob that civilization of its chance to find its own way and its own identity."

"That does sound good," Margo said, nodding approvingly. "What's the real answer?"

"I can't make shit."

Margo burst into laughter.

"I'm serious, and I tried. To make something I like from my world, there are like 1,000 other prerequisites I have to know how to meet to even have the parts to make the thing. I accepted that I'm not that guy and went with the flow instead."

Fergus suddenly sat at the table, looking a bit distracted and not doing anything more than waving to the bartender that he'd like a drink.

"Why are humans here so different from your world?" Vanilli asked.

Wayne leaned back to think. "In a lot of ways, they're not, but as for technology or, geez, something like total population, I don't know why they're different. I used to think it was because one world had mana and one world didn't, but I don't think it's that simple."

"Why do you think it isn't simple?"

"Techniques to use mana are just another kind of technology. Everything our technology could do in the world was just as impressive, but I never really appreciated that until I came here."

Vanilli nodded that he heard, then turned and abruptly left the table. Wayne guessed he was getting more food, and he realized the party's efforts to help Vanilli adapt more socially weren't working as well as he'd hoped. Nobody in the party cared once they knew he wasn't being rude intentionally, but Vanilli also wanted to blend in completely. Social norms were a big part of that.

"Haven't seen you in a few days," Wayne said, bumping Fergus.

"It's like some kind of surrealist fever dream," Fergus said, sipping his wine and staring blankly ahead. "I know the memories are real, but my mind hasn't finished adapting to this new world, so it's like the memories don't make sense."

"Do you regret drinking the Elixir?" Wayne asked.

"Absolutely not."

"Could always come to the next were-day and go back to panda life."

Fergus shook his head and drained his glass before pouring himself another. "The novelty of it was… something."

"We really don't need to talk about it."

"But we do," Fergus said. "Discourse helps to nurture the seeds of insight."

"Still no."

Fergus leaned toward Wayne. "I've never had so much hair in my mouth."

"Please stop."

"The shedding was outrageous. Running a hotel in this town now means all sorts of new challenges to figure out. But tails… I can see the appeal."

Wayne drank his wine.

"The silent treatment? Really? Like you're one to judge. I saw Kenny leave your room, and everyone knows that Mudsville was in the radius to get the virus."

"So?"

Fergus narrowed his eyes at Wayne. "So, I know she turned when it got dark, and she was with you all night…"

The old scholar wasn't wrong. Wayne was with Kenny last night, and she did indeed spend the night. They spent the day getting her new workshop set up and enjoyed some good food and cold drinks. When the sun set, Kenny turned, assuming the form of humanoid lioness.

Wayne would take this secret to his grave: Seeing Kenny as a lioness stirred some repressed feelings he had as a young boy watching Simba toss Nala onto her back in the grass beneath the moonlight.

So he went with it.

"If you're going to keep your research a secret," Fergus said, "Tell me this: Would you do it again?"

"I'm not answering that."

"Because the answer is yes, you would. Some pleasures are simple, and some are quite complex. Nothing wrong with enjoying some complexity."

"We're calling it 'complexity?'"

Fergus shrugged. "What else would you call it?"

A realization hit Wayne so hard that he nearly dropped his wine glass. He sat it on the table and put his face in his hands.

He helped this world invent furries.

The End - See you in book three!

Wishlist Wizard, Book 3: Chirs Houlihan and the Lost Room

The Christmas List skill gave Wayne the ability to borrow mechanics from Earth games, creating a build that was as weird as it was effective. One spell summons fire spirits but also puts him in a red bikini. An unlock from Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing turns Homerow into a major strategic combat advantage. And Insult Duels from a classic point and click adventure game become a key debuff tactic.

The system as a whole, however, seems to be degrading. Innocent civilians are contracting glitch sickness. Strange Earth artifacts appear more frequently and in unusual places. And the mysteries left behind by the first dwarves continue to deepen, raising more questions than answers.

In this final installment of the Wishlist Wizard series, Wayne taps into more power than ever and faces the biggest challenges of his adventure. Will he triumph? Will the system itself survive?

Find out in Wishlist Wizard, Book 3: Chris Houlihan and the Lost Room.

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