Illnyea had been startled by the topic of conversation as Priscilla began speaking with a serious tone, as she had half been dreading that Priscilla was going to bring up the magical episode Illnyea had in the fens. She still hadn't fully come to terms with what had happened, but Illnyea had employed the tried and true tactic of pretending it didn't happen until now.

The news that such a cult existed was surprising and revolting, but after considering it for a moment, it made sense. While walking around the adventurers in Meadowyar, Illnyea had overheard tales of people who had done truly terrible things. Illnyea had just enough time to wonder how many members there were in this cult and if they were all at the level of the cannibal, and then, Kavil started asking questions.

Kavil's anger had taken Illnyea aback momentarily because she hadn't seen it from him before, but she understood it too – to know that people you trusted kept such a secret from you, especially an important one like being the cause of someone's death… She imagined being in his place for a moment, that she had been the reason why Sulaiman had been murdered and it had been kept from her, and she didn't know how Kavil hadn't started crying then and there.

(Eileen's last moments flashed through Illnyea's mind, a reminder of someone she had failed so badly and whose children she still had to tell the worst news, and Illnyea fell quiet, fingers digging into her palm as she tried to keep a straight face.)

To learn that Sulaiman knew of this secret too inspired an odd sort of jealousy within Illnyea – though she didn't know if she would rather be in Sulaiman's or Priscilla's place in this situation. She was happy that Sulaiman had more friends now, she truly was, but she was still caught off guard by just how close he had grown to others in the short time apart, to the point Priscilla trusted him with an important secret. He had never allowed others into his world before, but he slid in to protect Priscilla from Kavil without an ounce of hesitation, even if he would deny doing so if directly asked.

While Illnyea had been enjoying Priscilla's newfound attention and affection over the past few days, when Illnyea was alone, her mind was split on how she truly felt about it.

Part of her wondered if this would last, if there would be another sudden switch like in childhood where Priscilla pulled away, staring at Illnyea like the sight of her face caused Priscilla pain. Illnyea didn't know what she had done to earn such a reaction, didn't know if it was the reveal that she was talented with magic that made Priscilla hate her. She wondered if she would make the same misstep again if she wasn't careful and revert their relationship to how it was just a month ago. It was a fear Illnyea tried her best to give little attention but it crept along the back of her mind like a wolf waiting for its moment to dart in for the kill.

The other part of her wished she could spend every second with Priscilla to make up for lost time, making new memories and ignoring the past entirely because the future was more important. Almost like staring into the sun after being in darkness for so long, a willful obliviousness to see only the positive. This was the tactic that Illnyea preferred because it was less complicated and didn't pick at old scars.

When Priscilla confessed that the cult had reached out to her, all Illnyea could hear was, "those who don't have strong ties to their surroundings."

The cult had seen Priscilla and thought she was isolated and desperate enough to join hands with them, seducing her with whispers and promises of power, to give her respect, everything she had been missing.

They had seen how the Thornewoods failed Priscilla, taking careful note of the way she couldn't speak with her parents without it ending in a screaming match, had seen the way Illnyea had buried her head in the sand, so focused on herself and her own problems to notice that Priscilla had been drowning and each sharp insult had been a bid for attention.

If Priscilla had taken their hand, Illnyea found that she couldn't even blame her knowing what she did now – but if Priscilla had done it, then Illnyea would never have been forced to confront her own mistakes, and she may have resented Priscilla, thought she was just as bad as the others in the cult without even making an effort to understand what had pushed her to that breaking point.

A conflicted swell of emotions rose up.

Guilt and shame wrapped itself around Illnyea's heart for how blind she had been towards Priscilla and never realizing how close she had come to losing her sister. Jealousy and anger she knew she shouldn't be feeling toward her sister and best friend for being close settled like a pit in her stomach, heavy and damning in a way that anchored Illnyea's shame deep within her soul.

But it was fear for Kavil that had Illnyea finally rising from her chair.

She hadn't known him long, barely a week, but Illnyea liked Kavil.

There was something comfortable about spending time with him, like she wasn't getting to know someone new, but somehow connecting with an old friend. Their humor complimented each other nicely, both enjoying heckling Sulaiman and Priscilla when they could get away with it. An odd sense of deja vu kept coming to Illnyea when they spoke, but she shook off the feeling because it made no sense and enjoyed how peaceful his company was.

Kavil had a brightness about him when he talked, an infectious energy that bounced off Illnyea's and they spent most of their conversations laughing and sharing stories from their childhood. Illnyea had focused mainly on tales of her and Sulaiman because she could scarcely recall any memories of the time where she and Priscilla had gotten along, something that caused a regret to curl in her gut.

She didn't know much about Kavil and he didn't know her well either, but Illnyea did know that Kavil didn't deserve to be left alone right now.

Illnyea didn't see Kavil when she dashed into the foyer, and panic tried to take hold of her, seizing her heart as it leapt to her throat. And then she remembered what they had been talking about during dinner, the fond stories Kavil had shared of his aunt, and Illnyea's feet took her towards the garden.

The sun was setting over the horizon as she walked through the archway entrance, passing by countless flowers and a few stone benches. She walked all the way to the far side of the path, to where the only tree in the garden stood against the sun.

Illnyea had spotted the sapling in the harvest fair's market the first fall they had moved to Meadowyar and begged her mother to buy it in a moment of pique because she was unhappy about moving and was desperate for anything that would make her feel more in control. Its wide, flat leaves were unlike any other than she had ever seen before, overlapping pinks and purples that drew the eye, and the bright yellow flowers bloomed at the edge of the branches bloomed all the way through winter.

Seeing how tall the tree was made her realize just how much time had passed since they first had moved into the house. It had been eleven years since her family had moved into the manor, and the tree had grown well since then, stretching nearly twenty feet tall, a far cry from the three inch sapling a six year old her had tucked into the ground clumsily. Priscilla had been there too, now that Illnyea thought about it, watching from the sidelines with piercing green eyes, not offering to help or saying anything at all, but she had stayed until the sapling was planted and quietly walked alongside Illnyea when she went back into the too large manor.

The sounds of sniffling reached Illnyea's ears as she paused at the edge of this section of the garden. She spotted an elbow and a foot sticking out from behind the trunk. Now that she had found Kavil, Illnyea wondered if he even wanted her here — they didn't know each other that well and she was probably just a reminder of everything that he didn't want to think about.

But it would be cruel to turn around at this point, and Illnyea couldn't bring herself to leave, even if she may just be rejected.

As Illnyea brushed her feet deliberately loud against the gravel at the edge of the clearing, the sounds of sobs became muffled, as if Kavil was trying to cover his mouth.

"It's just me," Illnyea said softly.

Kavil didn't tell her to get lost, so Illnyea kept walking forward. She didn't walk to the other side of the tree, because if she was him, she wouldn't want anyone to see her right now.

So Illnyea sat down, her back pressed against the trunk as she let her head gently rest against the bark. She wrapped her arms around her knees and pulled them tight to her chest, and looked up at the swaying branches of colorful leaves. The flowers were pretty as they were illuminated in the setting sun and she could understand why trees gave Kavil comfort.

Illnyea only had a cursory belief in the gods because she didn't want to get smited as a nonbeliever, as she had never been encouraged to pray beyond asking the Golden Hammer for prosperity. But when Kavil spoke of Gaelea's grace and the care She showed her followers with tender fondness in his voice, Illnyea could understand the appeal. Believing there was a higher power looking out for you made living a little less scary.

"So that happened," Illnyea said.

There was a wet snort, but Kavil didn't say anything.

"If you don't want to talk," Illnyea continued, "that's okay. I'm here if you change your mind, and I'll be here if you don't."

The silence stretched between them and Illnyea watching the sunset over the edge of the garden. As much as she may not like the manor, as it was too big and full of casual displays of wealth that made Illnyea feel like she didn't fit in, the garden had always been a favorite of hers. A small patch of nature nestled away to hide in when the world was too much, a tree she picked out herself that wasn't going anywhere.

After about five minutes the sounds of crying steadily quieted, there was a loud sniff and then a heavy sigh on the other side of the tree.

"I thought…" Kavil began, his voice rough but no longer shaking from tears. "I had thought that I had accepted Frean being killed by Kopica'a but… he was only murdered because of me."

"Who is Kopica'a?" Illnyea asked hesitantly. She thought she might know based on context, but she didn't want to assume anything.

"The doppelgänger," Kavil spat, his tone venomous, "that stole Frean's face to sneak into our village. Apparently they were from the cult Priscilla knew about the whole time and couldn't be bothered to mention it even once, even though we've literally spent almost every second together for the past few weeks while facing down death multiple times together."

"I'm sorry for your loss," Illnyea said quietly as her hand tightened on her arms, nails digging into her skin.

She glanced down, drawn to the site of pain. Her eyes lingered on the faint scars that wound around her hands and wrist. Illnyea still didn't know what exactly had happened to her that had made her magic, nor how her mysterious savior, whose visage became blurrier with each passing day, had gotten involved – the only thing Illnyea did know was that Priscilla had known what was happening and helped to stop it.

"Priscilla said she saw me in a dream," Illnyea said, the words slipped out.

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"What?" Some of the anger had faded from Kavil's voice, replaced by confusion.

"When we were fighting the cannibal," Illnyea said, hands trembling as she finally talked about it, "I… my magic was going wild while I was in the fens and when the cannibal unleashed her magic, mine spiraled out of control."

She only knew pain as her own magic attempted to choke her, drowning her on dry land as it threatened to open up the world beneath her to bury her in an earthen tomb.

"It was terrifying and I thought I wasn't going to make it when I fell," Illnyea continued, barely able to force the words out. "But… Priscilla, she did… did something, and I survived. When I asked her how she knew I was in trouble, she said… she saw that exact scenario in a dream, and in it I died."

Illnyea didn't even know why she started talking. She had come out here to comfort Kavil, not blabber about her own problems.

"Sorry," Illnyea whispered. "I'm alive, so everything's okay. You can talk again, I'm listening."

Silence stretched between them and Illnyea wilted, worried that she had made everything about her and utterly failed to make him feel better. She rested her forehead against her knees, wondering why she even tried.

Then there was the sound of rustling against grass and it came closer to her.

"You don't have to apologize," Kavil said and she jolted when his voice was closer to her than she expected.

Kavil was sitting next to her, though he was staring off at the flowers that lined the edge of this section. His eyes were red and puffy but he didn't seem sad anymore, though there was still simmering irritation in the way he held his shoulders.

"Have you talked with anyone about this?" Kavil asked.

Illnyea shook her head, then realized he wasn't looking at her and said, "I only asked Priscilla the one question but… no, this is the first time I've really, like… acknowledged it."

Kavil nodded slowly, chewing on his lower lip.

"Is this the first time you almost died?"

Illnyea's fingers dug in deep again.

"There were a lot of close calls in the fens," Illnyea said quietly. "Everything wanted to take a chunk out of me and when the monsters weren't trying to eat me, the cult was hunting me down."

Kavil breathed in slowly. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

Illnyea shrugged.

"Rudy just made a stupid decision and we got ourselves into that trouble," Illnyea said, toeing at the grass in front of her. "It's not like my home was attacked in the middle of the night."

Kavil finally looked at her then in a way that made Illnyea feel like he saw more than she wanted him to, his eyes darting over her face like he could see past her flimsy mask.

"It's not your fault the rest of the caravan died. The cannibals launched a surprise attack and you had a severe concussion from falling off your horse." Kavil's voice was firm in the way it was when he was healing someone, no hint of levity to be seen with the undercurrent of expectation that he would be listened to.

Illnyea looked away, arms tightening around her knees. She thought she had hidden that feeling but apparently she hadn't done a good enough job.

"It wasn't your fault the bandits attacked either," Illnyea muttered because she couldn't think of anything else to say. "Or that the doppelganger killed your friend."

Kavil let out a sharp, angry breath. "You're just throwing my words back at me."

Illnyea's face twitched and she glared mulishly at Kavil.

"I'm not," Illnyea said, suddenly irritated that Kavil thought his words were good enough to comfort her, but not him, "and it really isn't your fault. It's not like you told the bandits where to find you or gave up Frean's location to the Kopica'a – they did that because of their own evil reasons, not because you waved around a banner begging them to attack."

Kavil's face twisted, nose scrunching up in displeasure and mouth puckered like he ate something sour.

"But I'm what they wanted, the treasure that they were willing to kill for," Kavil said forcefully. "Frean never would have been killed if I hadn't gotten close to him and Yarnon wouldn't have lost his arm if – "

Illnyea rolled her eyes, unimpressed with his rebuttal and cut him off before he could list off every injury – he had told her that no one had died during the surprise attack, and she suspected that was partly because of his prodigious talent with healing magic.

"If someone broke in and killed a family to steal their gold, are you going to blame the gold for daring to exist?"

Kavil's mouth dropped open, as if he was offended by the comparison and Illnyea barreled on.

"If anyone else can understand what you're feeling right now, Kavil, I can," Illnyea said, infusing as much sincerity as she could into her voice. "You were literally just telling me that it wasn't my fault about the caravan, even though I did nothing except watch as they were slaughtered – and if that's true, then it's not your fault either because based on what you told me about Frean, he's not the type of person that would have blamed you for not being able to protect him from a threat that no one knew about. We're either both victims, or we're both to blame and it's up to you which one is true."

Kavil's jaw twitched like he was going to say something, and then slowly closed. The skin around his eyes were tight as his eyes furrowed, but he didn't seem upset with Illnyea, more like he was grappling with something internally. Illnyea couldn't quite parse what his facial expressions meant, and decided to give him space to decide what truth they would have to live with.

But eventually he sighed, tilting his head back until it hit the trunk of the tree. "You're not at fault, so I guess… I'm not either."

Illnyea was pleased with herself. Her stubbornness may get her into trouble, but at least it won her this argument. She may not completely believe her own words, but the guilt had eased, just a little.

"I'm still mad Priscilla and Sulaiman didn't say anything until now," Kavil continued, staring up at the leaves. "Especially because the reasoning behind it is so stupid – I don't want them to only view me as someone who needs to be coddled and protected."

"Is it so bad to be protected?" Illnyea asked, genuinely curious.

She remembered the darkness of the fens that hid creatures that were waiting for her to show even the slightest hint of weakness and she desperately wished she wasn't alone, that there was someone who could watch over her so she could have one blissful moment of rest. The image of Eileen's head being smashed over flashed through her mind again and Illnyea pushed it away once more.

"It is," Kavil said firmly. "It means they think I'm weak."

"But it can also mean that they care about you."

"I'd rather they show it in a different way," Kavil said, scowling. "If they really cared, they'd let me take care of myself."

Illnyea pursed her lips, not sure if she agreed with that line of thinking.

When Priscilla protected her, Illnyea had only been left with a warm feeling of contentment – it had been everything she had been yearning for. In life, sometimes you needed protection and the safety and surety it provided, and Illnyea had never felt weak when Sulaiman watched her back during a fight. It was clear that Kavil didn't feel the same, but Illnyea took the time to see it through his perspective.

She could understand why he felt the way he did, especially since she had an inkling about why he didn't want Sulaiman and Priscilla to view him like a child based on the way Kavil sometimes looked at them when they weren't paying attention (not that she was going to touch that topic with a ten-foot pole until she was entirely sure, and even then, Illnyea would bother Sulaiman about it first because he was the one who needed the most hassling).

"I can respect that," Illnyea said slowly, shifting to face Kavil straight on, "and I don't think you're wrong to be hurt, but I think you need to know something, Kavil."

Kavil raised an eyebrow, clearly thinking whatever she was going to say wasn't going to change his mind.

"Before you," Illnyea said carefully, trying to pick her words thoughtfully, "and excluding me, I can't recall anyone that Priscilla or Sulaiman have put any sort of effort into protecting. Sulaiman doesn't let people close easily because he's scared of being hurt and rejected, and Priscilla, well, she didn't really interact with anyone unless it was to pick a fight."

In the spirit of honesty, Illnyea licked her lips, and confessed, "I'm actually a little jealous of how quickly you wormed into their hearts."

Kavil blinked three times, eyes wide. "Really?"

Illnyea shrugged, feeling her cheeks flushed as she felt self-conscious and glanced away.

"I don't know if you know this," Illnyea said, drawing circles on her arm to release some of her nervous energy, "but Priscilla and I… well, we haven't always had a good relationship, and that only began to change recently when she told me… about how she felt about our parents. So, I'm still getting used to it, and, as for Sulaiman…" Illnyea chewed on her cheek, before pushing past her hesitation.

"He's my best friend," Illnyea continued, finally meeting Kavil's eyes, "and I've never really had to share him before. And yeah, he's not my possession, but, well…"

"I get it," Kavil said, lips quirking up in a half-smile. "It's different from what you're used to."

Illnyea nodded, relieved he understood.

"I'm a bit jealous of you too," Kavil said, his smile turning rueful.

It was Illnyea's turn to stare at Kavil with wide eyes.

"Listening to the two of them talk about you," Kavil continued, glancing past her towards the manor, "you'd think you could walk on water. They both think you're the pinnacle of what humanity has to offer."

Illnyea couldn't help the snort of disbelief.

"What a pair we make," Illnyea said, shaking her head. "Jealous about the exact same thing."

Kavil chuckled. "We could fight about it if you want. Winner takes all."

Illnyea snorted again, pushing his shoulder.

"I recall someone telling me that I would demolish him in a spar," Illnyea said playfully, "but if you really want to battle for their affections, I'll gladly steal them away."

Kavil made a face as he imagined that. "On second thought, I take that back. The only battle I'm willing to challenge you to is Drake's Hoard."

"You're still a newbie, I could wipe the floor with you if I really tried," Illnyea joked, earning a glare. A sudden urge seized her, and Illnyea added, "I'll help you get better at fighting with the hook you stole from Raven, and then neither Sulaiman or Priscilla would want to protect you just because you're 'weak.'"

Kavil let out an appreciative hum, tapping his fingers on his arm as he thought it over. "Let's do that once we get over this hurdle – then you can turn me into one lean, mean fighting machine."

"Deal," Illnyea said with a laugh as she tried to picture Kavil as he described himself, sticking out her hand and they shook on it.

A companionable silence stretched between them, the two of them settling back against the tree. The strange flash of deja vu that had plagued her since the magical fiasco returned as she looked at Kavil with the sunset stretching behind him. She couldn't understand why it felt nostalgic for Kavil and her to talk under a tree, baring their hearts to each other, nor why there was a soft longing tinging the emotions. She didn't even know what she was longing for, just that a part of her missed something.

The feeling faded when Illnyea tried to examine it further and she held back a sigh. Silly emotions, why can't you be rational and just make sense?

"I still think secrets poison a relationship," Kavil said, breaking the silence, "and I should know if someone is after me with nefarious intent."

"I agree," Illnyea said, "and if the two of them lie to us again, I think we should unionize and demand they pay us compensation for the emotional distress they put us through – if we learn how to cry on command, I think they'd give us everything to make us stop."

Kavil let out a choked laugh, and then his shoulders shook as the laughter took hold of him. Illnyea grinned as he doubled over, wiping tears from his eyes.

"You can be vicious," Kavil said, eyeing her with newfound respect. "I was just thinking we should give them the silent treatment while showing how much fun we can have without them, and make them grovel for our forgiveness."

Illnyea smirked. "Your method would leave them with lasting psychological scars, but mine would leave us with fat purses. I am the daughter of a merchant, Kavil, and though I may not be very interested in the field, I have picked up a few things."

Illnyea glanced at the sky and saw that the sun was steadily disappearing behind the horizon.

"We should probably head back inside," Illnyea sighed, rolling onto the balls of her feet and standing. "The mosquitoes are about to swarm and I don't want them to eat me."

Kavil sighed, the sound deeper and resigned as he scrunched his face at the manor, clearly reluctant to return.

"You don't have to room with Sulaiman tonight if you want space," Illnyea offered. "I have plenty of pillows and a spare blanket if you want to crash on my couch or the floor, and we can face them tomorrow."

Kavil perked up. "Really? You won't mind?"

Illnyea shrugged, holding out a hand towards him. "When I travel with Sulaiman, we usually share a room. As long as you don't snore, I don't see why it's a problem."

"I don't snore." Kavil's grasp was firm as Illnyea hauled him to his feet.

"Perfect!" Illnyea said, brushing off grass from her pants. "Let's get a move on – the mosquitoes in Meadowyar are no joke."

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