Whenever Kavil felt strong emotions, his body's first reaction was to cry.

He really hated that part of himself – hated how his throat thickened and made the words come out choked, hated how his vision was blurred by tears so he couldn't focus on who he was talking to, hated how weak it made him feel when all he wanted was to feel strong.

So Kavil ran from the room, unable to bear another second in the dining room as his emotions threatened to overwhelm him.

Betrayal and guilt were unfamiliar emotions Kavil rarely felt but they both were jagged and ruthless, making his breathing unsteady as Kavil stumbled into the garden, searching desperately for a place where no one could see him.

This garden only had hedges and flowers, but Kavil kept moving, placing one foot in front of another until he finally found a tree. Placing his palm against the trunk helped to stabilize Kavil as he sat behind it, curling himself into a tight ball.

His vision was blurred but it didn't stop his mind from dredging up a vision of Frean opening up his home and being ruthlessly slaughtered when his back was turned – all because Frean had been foolish enough to be kind to Kavil.

Kavil was why Frean was murdered, why his family was put in danger, and the cult probably wasn't going to stop hunting him, especially since Kopica'a had been exposed and fled. Part of Kavil wanted to go back home, part of him wanted to go somewhere no one could find him, and part of him wondered if maybe he'd be better off dead if put everyone around him in danger.

He closed his eyes and whispered, "Gaelea… I don't know what to do."

The trunk at his back was steady and upright, a vessel for Gaelea's grace to bless all those who rested beneath Her canopy. A flower fell into Kavil's lap, a clear sign She was listening, but She offered no guidance, only warm reassurance that She was there.

Kavil had thought there was a measure of trust between him, Sulaiman, and Priscilla. He had noticed that Sulaiman and Priscilla had moments where they met eyes and something private passed between them, a secret shared without words. He had pushed away his jealousy of the easy trust between them when he caught those moments, telling himself that he too would earn that trust from them one day.

But it wasn't a matter of trust to tell Kavil that someone had been targeting him – that he was the reason that people he cared about suffered.

Sulaiman had several opportunities to tell Kavil, so many moments where it was just the two of them and he just… didn't. Maybe he thought about it briefly, like the night he fought with Priscilla, but Sulaiman had ultimately decided to keep Kavil in the dark because he thought Kavil was weak and too "traumatized" to handle the information.

Priscilla keeping it a secret…

Oh that hurt.

The way that she assumed what would be best for him all in the name of keeping Kavil from being hurt reminded Kavil painfully of the way that those in the village had treated him – like a child whose life had to be managed, never trusting his judgement or input because he 'didn't know how the world worked.'

It was Priscilla who had told Kavil he should choose his own life path and yet it was Priscilla who chose to keep information from him so he couldn't make a fully informed decision.

Someone else entered the clearing and Kavil stiffened, clamping his hand over his mouth.

But… the last person Kavil had been expecting had found him, Illnyea's quiet, calm voice cutting through the air.

At first, Kavil was afraid she was there just to convince him that he should go back inside, but Illnyea gave Kavil exactly what he needed at the moment – silent companionship until he had exhausted all his tears.

Talking with Illnyea helped Kavil's emotions calm down into something more manageable, less sharp and bitter. He was still angry, but it had turned more into a simmering irritation, and the guilt towards Frean's death had been stifled after Illnyea forced Kavil to choose if they were both at fault, or both victims.

Stubbornness radiated off Illnyea as she stared Kavil down, a fire in her eyes as she dared him to blame himself because it meant condemning her as well. Kavil could see why Illnyea inspired such fierce devotion from those she blessed with affection – golden eyes ablaze with such a strong conviction that Kavil found his own resolve crumbling beneath it. The trunk against his back pulsed as Illnyea spoke, and that cut through the last bit of resistance Kavil had because if Gaelea was taking Illnyea's side, Kavil would be a fool not to.

By the time they finished speaking, Kavil finally felt like he and Illnyea were truly friends instead of mere friendly acquaintances put together by happenstance. Kavil was honored she shared so much with him because he knew it couldn't have been easy since he was still mostly a stranger, but he was excited for what the future held for them.

They fled the apparently rabid mosquitoes, entering the manor through a side entrance.

The butler Priscilla was close to was there, Mr. Ordan Kavil believed his name was, and the butler blinked in surprise as the door closed quietly behind them.

"Ah," Mr. Ordan said, glancing between Illnyea and Kavil, something unreadable in his gray eyes. Mr. Ordan inclined his head at Illnyea and Kavil before saying, "Mr. McCue, I can escort you to a private room that's been prepared for you to rest, should you desire."

Illnyea glanced between the butler and Kavil in confusion, eyebrows raised, as if silently asking, "Did you ask for another room?"

Kavil shook his head slowly, just as confused.

Mr. Ordan's gaze flicked between them before he said, delicately, "The room was prepared at Mr. Halsteed's request, as he wished, 'to not impose his presence' upon Mr. McCue this evening."

"Huh," Kavil said, glancing past Mr. Ordan towards where the dining room was.

Sulaiman had taken the initiative to make sure that Kavil had space this evening, which was a thoughtful gesture, but part of Kavil wondered if it was a cowardly one as well – if Sulaiman was shying away from confrontation and was seizing the excuse to push Kavil away.

Kavil pushed that uncharitable thought out of his head. Even though Sulaiman had hurt Kavil with his silence, Sulaiman had never been deliberately cruel. Sulaiman cared more others than he'd admit aloud, and Kavil focused on feeling grateful for that care instead of thinking the worst of his friend.

"I'll be rooming with Illnyea tonight, if that's alright," Kavil said, glancing at Illnyea again to double check.

"If you could get some extra pillows and blankets, that'd be great, Mr. Ordan," Illnyea said, slinging an arm over Kavil's shoulders. "We're going to have a sleep over and make a pillow fort."

Mr. Ordan's bushy eyebrows raised but his expression softened as he nodded and turned to fulfill the request.

"What exactly is a pillow fort?" Kavil asked as they began to walk up the stairs.

Illnyea stopped in her tracks, staring incredulously at Kavil.

"You really don't know?"

"Uh, no? I kind of have a guess, but not really?"

Illnyea shook her head in exaggerated disbelief before grabbing Kavil's wrist and dragging him behind her.

"We have to change that," Illnyea declared.

Illnyea's room was more sparsely decorated than Priscilla's room and gave the odd impression that it was less lived in. There were a few knickknacks on the dresser, a pile of letters, a cloth doll, and a sketch of what looked like Illnyea and Sulaiman, but overall, the room felt more like a place to sleep rather than a place to truly rest.

Kavil didn't have enough time to ask about the room as Mr. Ordan showed up shortly after with an armful of bedding. Illnyea's eyes sparkled as she took the unwieldy bundle and dumped it onto her bed.

Building a pillow fort was delightful and it took Kavil's mind off everything else as the construction devolved into a pillow fight. Illnyea had scarily good aim and Kavil ended up being the loser, but a grin remained on his face until they finally fell asleep.

When Kavil awoke, his back was sore from sleeping on the floor, but his mind was settled and prepared to speak with his friends. The soreness was dealt with easily enough with a pulse of healing magic and Kavil rose and stretched with stuttering movements. Illnyea was spread in an ungainly mess of blankets and limbs a few feet away, silver hair strewn about like she had been caught inside a windstorm. She had somehow managed to get tangled with one of the blankets that had been acting as their fort's walls.

Kavil chuckled to himself as he stood and rolled his neck.

He stilled when he saw what was near the door.

Two slim letters had been slid underneath the crack since last night – one had Illnyea's name and the other Kavil's. It was in a handwriting that Kavil didn't recognize, but as he stepped closer and picked them up, he saw that it was written on the same stationary he had seen in Priscilla's room.

Kavil swallowed, unsure how to feel.

"Hey, Illnyea," Kavil said, walking over to where she slept.

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Illnyea mumbled something unintelligible and hugged her pillow. Kavil sighed and crouched next to her. He shook her shoulder gently at first and then not so gently when she shrugged him off.

Sleepy golden eyes eventually opened as Illnyea said, "Wassit?"

"We have letters," Kavil said, raising them up. "I think they're from Priscilla."

Illnyea blinked, once, twice, and then sat up, rapidly rubbing her eyes as consciousness returned to her. She grabbed for her letter and slid a finger under the wax seal without pause.

Kavil sat down, hesitating for only a moment before he opened up his own and began to read.

Kavil,

I wanted to start this off by saying I'm sorry.

I had my reasons for why I did it but they really all boil down to one core reason – fear. It was wrong for me to keep the information about the bandits, Kopica'a, and the cult from you for as long as I did. You were right that you deserved to know and I'm sorry for hurting you by withholding this information.

You deserve to be the master of your own fate, and I shouldn't have taken that choice away from you.

The pen dug a little deeper into the stationary, a blob of ink as if Priscilla's hand had grown unsteady.

I was acting no better than the people that wanted to manipulate you, even if I was doing it in the name of 'kindness.' I don't think of you as a child Kavil, though I admit that I am more protective of you, which may come off as coddling. It comes from a place of care, though that probably doesn't make you feel any better.

It was fear that kept me from saying anything earlier, not a lack of faith in you or your own decision making skills.

I was afraid that if I told you about the cult and my connection with them that you would think less of me, afraid that your view of me would become tainted and you would hate me and leave.

I realize now that is doing you a disservice with that fear.

You are one of the kindest people that I have ever had the honor of calling my friend and likely one of the kindest people I will ever meet, and you have been nothing but understanding since the moment we met and you saved my life. My fear of losing you made me forget that because I should have known that my savior's loyalty would not be shaken so easily.

I hope that I haven't ruined your view of me, but I would understand if it takes time for you to trust me again. I am willing to do whatever it takes to prove I'm worthy of it.

When you want to talk, let me know. There is a limit to what I can communicate about the cult, but I'll answer your questions the best I can.

Your friend,

Priscilla Sunscarre

Kavil tried to swallow but found he had a lump in his throat.

When he looked up, he saw that Illnyea was staring at the letter in her hands with a similarly shaken expression.

"Well," Kavil said after swallowing hard again. "Do you want to talk with them before or after breakfast?"

Illnyea rubbed her eyes with a sniffle.

"After," Illnyea said. "I don't think we should be talking on an empty stomach."

Illnyea gave Mr. Ordan their message to deliver to Sulaiman and Priscilla while they had breakfast brought to Illnyea's room. It was tasty pair of flakey, buttery croissants, but Kavil found he didn't enjoy the food quite as much as he did when he ate with Priscilla – her eyes always lit up when she ate something delicious, her head tilting in delight as she relished in the flavor that made Kavil's own food taste all the better. Sulaiman would have liked the filling, a sweet, nutty mixture that lingered pleasantly in the mouth.

They talked little as they ate, minds both on the letters they had received.

When Kavil and Illnyea made their way to the dining room, Priscilla and Sulaiman were already seated. Sulaiman's posture was straighter than a marble column, and his black eyes instantly locked onto Kavil when he stepped through the doors. But something flashed in his eyes and he glanced away. Priscilla was dressed in a more subdued manner than yesterday in a simple black dress and her hair was down, loose curls resting on her shoulders.

Priscilla was staring at the table like it was the only thing she was allowed to look at, holding herself like she was a prisoner waiting to be sentenced to life imprisonment. She twitched as they entered and Kavil saw how her mouth trembled minutely as they sat across from her.

"I apologize," Sulaiman said when no one said anything to fill the silence, his jaw tight but raising his gaze to meet both Illnyea and Kavil's gaze in turn, "for hurting you and making either of you feel as if I do not view you as my equal with my actions. It was wrong of me to not bring the two of you up to speed as soon as possible and in the future, I won't keep such knowledge from you."

Kavil nodded slowly, exchanging a glance with Illnyea. Illnyea tilted her head, letting Kavil take the lead.

"I accept your apology," Kavil said and Sulaiman let out a small relieved breath. Kavil stared at Priscilla, whose gaze had dropped even lower to her hands. "Both of your apologies."

Priscilla jolted and looked up with a fragile sort of hope in her eyes, like a flower blossoming after a typhoon. She swallowed nervously, glancing at Illnyea who softened and said, "I do too."

The tension drained from Priscilla's shoulders so suddenly that the woman swayed in her chair before she leaned against the table.

"But," Kavil said sharply, looking between Sulaiman and Priscilla to make sure they were paying attention, "if the two of you keep a secret like this from us again, it's going to be a lot harder to earn forgiveness than mere apologies."

Priscilla nodded quickly, head bobbing like an apple swaying in a gust of wind, a sharp contrast to Sulaiman's tight, controlled gesture.

"I'm sorry," Priscilla said, lacing her fingers atop the table. "I know I wrote it, but I wanted to say it aloud at least once because it's the least of what you deserve."

Priscilla was speaking a little too fast, her voice wavering, her usual easy confidence nowhere to be found. To see her so downtrodden and truly contrite smothered the last embers of Kavil's irritation towards the situation, and Kavil wanted to put this behind them so he could just enjoy spending time with his friends. They had only been apart for one night, but Kavil found that he had already missed them.

"I believe you promised us answers in that letter of yours," Kavil said, leaning forward and mirroring Priscilla's laced fingers.

Priscilla blinked a few times but as she opened her mouth, Sulaiman cut in.

"You two need to know that Priscilla cannot speak freely about this matter," Sulaiman said as he side-eyed the woman in question. "A geas has been placed upon her knowledge so she cannot share it with others."

Priscilla eyed Sulaiman right back but Sulaiman was unimpressed, so she just sighed. "That's unfortunately true, but I'll answer what I can."

"You said that someone named the Apostle is the leader of the cult," Illnyea began, her eyes sharp. "Can you tell us more about him?"

Priscilla opened her mouth and then closed it. When she began to speak, her words were clipped and hesitating, and Kavil realized that was why Priscilla was speaking so strangely yesterday. His aunt had spoken briefly of the concept of a geas before, as one of Gaelea's paladins had one forced upon them by an enemy god, and the only thing that Kavil really remembered about it was that it caused the cursed person pain.

"The cult follows the Apostle," Priscilla said, "and he believes in a… an entity referred to as the Violet Moon. He… he is… powerful."

Priscilla's face twisted like she was upset and Kavil sensed she was reaching the limit of what she could say. He didn't want her to linger in unnecessary pain, so he asked the one question that had been burning in his mind since the revelation.

"Why is the cult gathering up people they believe are talented?" Kavil asked, tilting his head. "I can't see why they'd want me – I'm just a healer."

Priscilla ran her tongue over her teeth before saying, "The Apostle is… dedicated to the entity and… gathers 'Chosen' to… to achieve goals related to the entity. Healers… healers are always needed on the battlefield, especially one as talented as you."

Kavil sat back as he took that in and could only say, "Huh."

Even if Kopica'a had successfully assumed Frean's identity and conned Kavil into leaving the village with them, Kavil didn't see a world where he would willingly go serve as a medic on an active battlefield. He didn't have the concentration or temperament to be healing soldiers if they were only going to stumble out of his tent to be cut down again and again. It sounded like a horrible way to live, knowing that the person you've only given someone a few more minutes before they met a painful and violent end.

"What are the Apostle's goals?" Illnyea asked.

Priscilla winced and breathed in deeply, fingers tightening together.

"I can't… I can't really say," Priscilla said, her eyes haunted, "but just know he'd gladly sacrifice the world to get what he wants."

"How did you get in contact with the cult?" Illnyea asked. She hadn't looked away from Priscilla once since they started speaking, and there was an insistent look in her eyes now, like this was the one question she wanted answered.

Priscilla opened her mouth, closed it, opened and closed it again with a look of growing frustration as her lips trembled, before saying quietly, "I don't know."

Kavil blinked and saw that Illnyea looked taken aback, losing some of her momentum.

Priscilla looked down at the table.

"My memories…" Priscilla took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "My memories of how I got into contact with the cult are gone. I received an artifact as a means to lure me in, but when I stole it and severed the connection between it and the Apostle, there was some psychic backlash and I passed out for a few hours."

"What artifact?" Sulaiman asked, looking alarmed. Kavil noted that Sulaiman's eyebrows were a dark, unhappy line and realized that while Sulaiman had known more than the rest of them, he still wasn't privy to all of Priscilla's secrets.

Priscilla winced and then took another deep breath.

"This," Priscilla said and raised her right hand. They all stared uncomprehendingly at the fingerless glove Priscilla had bought back in Grazda until Priscilla made a fist and said, "Spike on."

Vicious metallic spikes popped above Priscilla's knuckles, its edges sharp with a deadly gleam.

"It has limited shape changing capabilities," Priscilla said, "but since I fight hand-to-hand, it's pretty useful as just a glove."

Sulaiman opened his mouth, expression pinched but Kavil leaned forward, half a grin stretched across his face as a mystery he hadn't given much thought to was finally solved.

"You punched Azurin in the dick with this, right?" Kavil asked. "That's why he sounded like a tea kettle and was bleeding?"

Priscilla let out a startled laugh, the sound loud and comforting to Kavil's ears, before she said, "Yup! Used it on the cannibal too, that's why her face was all fucked up."

Kavil didn't know why, but Priscilla finally swearing made something relax and settle within him. Sulaiman started asking if the artifact was safe to use and Priscilla rolled her eyes, saying to keep his nose out of her own fucking business, and Illnyea jumped in with so many questions about what it could do, if it was just one type of glove, and Kavil nodded to himself satisfied as he sat back.

They weren't perfect and they were bound to make more mistakes and argue, but these three were Kavil's to care for, the people that Kavil was choosing to forge a future with.

If it meant Kavil had to kill an entire cult to keep them safe, so be it.

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